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  • Hello and welcome to my blog! My name is Joanne and I’ve been blogging for many years under the name The Simple Wife (you can see all of my old posts under the archives or by clicking on any of the categories that interest you). I love receiving comments from you and try to respond to each one personally. I hope you’ll visit often!

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Dear, Sweet Joanne.

As I began reading this post, I had to go back up to the blog banner and convince myself that I wasn't on my own blog or my journal. I truly felt as if I was reading about myself. I have had, still struggle with that same anger, same inability to control the flash-in-the-pan lashing out. And I, too, have discovered that it (the anger), wanting to control and pride are all wrapped together in a nice, little, Satan-endorsed, package. This thing that has been going on with My Girl over the past few months has been all about pride, control. Hers, mine, The Man's. And God has so called me on it. And this morning, which I'll be blogging about today sometime, he led me to the greener pasture. The place on the other side of the last few months. Not that I believe the struggle has ended and we're all cured and well, but that the worst of it is over and the trusting and belief has to be set in stone. No waffling, no doubting. Which I've already found myself doing and have instantly been convicted to, "knock it off."

I wept as I read your post this morning. Wept for what you have been through, Toben, the girls, and wept for your openness and honesty and trust to put it out there.
Love, Susan

Holly Smith

And you have a very precious heart to give, Joanne. Keep turning that soil up to Him. For I see a harvest!

Love you Friend...thanks for sharing your heart. I understand...yes, I do. Now I need to take this and see what uncreative thing is plaguing me. Hmmm...there are lots of things. So I hold this lesson on my lap and say, "Yes, God! Do change me and mold me and fashion me, so that I bring you glory. Let's look at this stuff, this sin, together and deal with it."


WOW!! I had to, like Susan, look around and make sure that you didn't have a camera in my office (or a bug in my brain). The part about guarding your heart is something that is very close to me. It was like you were describing me when you were talking about the bitterness strangling your heart like a weed. There is an older man that works beside me that....well...let's just say he has a really big ego and tends to put on a show. Every. Single. Day. To make a long story short, he tried to take one of my employees and get him to work for him for money under the table. Which he knows was wrong because we sign a contract that says we are not allowed to work for a similar company at the same time we are working here. So he KNEW it was wrong and we've not spoken since, this happened about a month ago. I tend to tell myself that I don't need this, and I shut myself off (this has happened before, us not speaking) from any contact with him at all. I don't speak to him (unless spoken to, I'm not rude lol) and I just plain don't bother him and he gets the hint. But I also feel like it's something that is on my mind everyday that I have to come to work. I don't like that it has that sort of "control" over me. So your post has convinced me that I need to let God guard my heart, it is his job after all right? Thank you so much!!


Thank you for sharing your heart so openly. I know exactly what you mean about "ducks in order." I need to take a good look at my own control issues and ask the Lord for His help.

Have a good weekend,


Amen. God led me to this post tonight.


You had me in in your pit of marriage desperation while voicing my experience in my own pit with the chaotic boys...same pit of pride...uggh....same bondage of bitterness...same horrific weeding that Jesus has been working "surgically" on too (I'm still finding root threads I never knew were left. I love how you put your heart out there...I am with ya girlfriend...God is so very good to very, very patient! Love ya!


Hi Joanne-

I know you don't know me at all, but I look at your site almost every day. I feel like I have a secret friend who likes a lot of the same things I do. Now, I realize we've shared some of the same problems. Actually, a lot of us have. Anger is an issue I never had to deal w/ until I couldn't easily have a child. Lack of control became a struggle for me too. I also understand the guarding of the heart that comes from being hurt. I felt God really let me down, that He allowed me to struggle unfairly. I finally did get to be mom to my beautiful boy Ethan and I thank Him for that precious gift every day. But, the knowledge that He really let me go through something sooo hard was still a struggle. I couldn't understand. Anyway, the verse, "Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding" has been my verse that I claim everytime I start asking God the Why? questions. Also, the book Living Prayer that you recommended is great. I think it answers some of those questions.

Hang in there. Thanks for such a great site. You'll be in my prayers today.



Dear Joanne,
May God bless me with a beautiful repentant heart like yours. You are like King David, writing us modern day Psalms. Here's a great big cyber hug coming your way -
love, Janine

Marla Taviano

^Janine took the words right out of my mouth. Well, the words I would have said if I would have thought of them. You are definitely one of my favorite modern-day Psalmists. Love you, friend!

Thanks for the reminder that ooooh, do I have a long way to go!!

Lisa R-P

God bless you and your willingness to open your heart and bare your soul. You are not alone in your journey sister. I too struggle with the pit of pride and low self-esteem. Unfortunately those "pits" play out as angry outbursts that are directed at those I love the most. I have found myself yelling so loud that I thought I would break blood vessels in my eyes -- then I was so, so scared and confused about where that anger could have been stored deep within me. That is not the person that I want to be, not the person that God wants me to be.

Thank you for opening up and sharing with all of us -- we are in this together. A circle of cyber support for each other on the journey.


wow, great post. very relatable! thanks for sharing.

Lisa @ The Preacher's Wife

Oh wow do I have the t-shirt on this one...This was so transparent. I know you had to be afraid to type it out but holding that thing to the light is a huge part of breaking Satan's stronghold. I relate to this on so many levels and really am grateful I came here today...

But, here's the cool thing..I didn't come here by accident.


Is that the coolest thing or what?

Email me your address and I'll get it to you this week..:))

Much love,



You don't know me but I have popped by your site a time or two...there have been many times where I have waken in the middle of the night, fearing that a post I had written was too real, too vulnerable, too transparent and then been amazed at the response...I can see you have had the response of many nodding in agreement. Thank you for your obedience to share the realities of life mixed with following Jesus.

For quite awhile, I had 5 different colored and different sized wooden ducks all lined up on my mantle...they were the only place that I knew "my ducks were all in a row" ;-)

This scripture has become incredibly meaningful to me over the last few years especially as my husband and I have dealt with our oldest daughter's struggle with depression:

"That is why I am suffering as I am. Yet I am not ashamed, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day."
II Timothy 1:12

Richest blessings to you,


erin s

Joanne I just want you to know how much I appreciate you sharing this. I actually have tears streaming down my face while reading this post. You see you and I are very similar and I struggle with a lot of the same issues. Mainly the "bitterness, self-sufficiency, closed heart, and control". It's helps to know there are others out there that struggle with these issues, and also that with Gods help, you are dealing with it. I am in a dark place right now and I am struggling to let go of my bitterness and hurt. I know that I need to give my heart to God. I need to let go and let GOD help. I know God has heard my cries, now I need to wait patiently for him to come and help.

Thank you Joanne for taking the courage to means a lot.

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