I had the opportunity to speak to a MOPS group in Broomfield yesterday morning. We talked about how living simply means living within your boundaries--things like time, energy, family, finances. I can never tell how it goes!
But the cool thing was that I got to be part of the discussion at the end. It was a small group, so we all sat around one big round table to talk for a good 40-45 minutes. I love hearing about how other families function.
We talked about knowing what's important to your family and the boundaries you need to protect those things. And about how clutter makes it hard to build boundaries (think Nehemiah rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem and the people being discouraged because there was too much rubble to build--Nehemiah 4:10).
And we talked about where there's clutter in our lives that needs to be cleared so we can build boundaries--clutter in things like our homes and possessions, thoughts and worries, calendar and commitments.
Just like Nehemiah, we can't build boundaries in day, but we can start. So what's one area of your family's life that needs protection? And what's one boundary you can begin to build today?
***
Here's a little summary:
Building boundaries:
1. Requires recognizing the need for boundaries.
We were created to live within boundaries. Freedom doesn't mean getting to do whatever we want without boundaries, but living within boundaries.
Boundaries are for our protection, not our punishment!
2. Requires the whole family.
How do we know what boundaries to build? What are the two or three things that are most important to our family?
When we agree together what's important to us as a family and build boundaries to protect those things, it makes us more likely to stay within them.
3. Requires clearing out clutter.
Clutter clouds our focus and makes it hard to see what's really important. Where is there clutter in our lives?
God is a God of order (1 Corinthians 14:33). Where do we need order in our lives in order to build boundaries?
4. Requires maintenance.
Others won't always respect our boundaries--it can be hard to be different.
Living within our boundaries is one way we can shine in the world.
As seasons and situations change, boundaries may need to shift in order to protect our families and what's important.
Good stuff! I am fiercely protective of our family time. My husband works swing shift, so it's tough for us to be together as a family sometimes. I recently read that we need to look for the things in our lives we can say "no" to...and I find that when I actively look for opportunities to say no, I have a much simpler, peaceful life.
Posted by: Melissa @ Breath of Life | October 08, 2008 at 06:19 AM
I agree! By establishing (and sticking to!)boundaries, we've been able to maintain family dinners each night (at least 5 nights out of 7) even with two teens and their activities. And, as we've previously discussed, boundaries have helped us protect our Sabbaths.
Posted by: Dawn W | October 08, 2008 at 06:25 AM
I find it really difficult to keep myself within boundaries. I ask my husband not to do his office work when we are at home, but at the same time I cannot bring myself to do that. Family dinner for us has become eating and watching TV. I really need to learn to be within boundaries and only then try to change things around me.
Many Thanks Joanne,
I really needed this.
Posted by: Priti | October 08, 2008 at 07:33 AM
What a very wise heart God has given you! Praising Him for your message to these women and just because you are you.
Posted by: Holly @ Crownlaiddown | October 08, 2008 at 07:49 AM
Great insights! And the maintenance part is so true... I'm always up for changing things for the better, it's just so hard to keep up. Maintaining it is key for me.
Posted by: Anna | October 08, 2008 at 12:19 PM
Great ideas, Joanne. How I would've loved to seen your presentation. I fall somewhere between "Priti" and "Dawn W" on the spectrum. The hardest part for me on any system, schedule, habit, or rule is doing the follow through. This is something I shall pray over. Blessings, Gretchen
Posted by: Gretchen | October 08, 2008 at 12:20 PM
Such great stuff, Joanne.
Clutter...it is my middle name. I really struggle with it because our home is more like a hotel where dump everything and pick up more stuff to go out to the next thing, event, day, whatever. There is no calm. It is not peaceful. And I hate it. HATE IT.
The school papers pile up because we're reading them, signing them on the run. The sports gear piles up with the girl playing one sport, but practicing every day and the boy playing two sports. My hair is standing on end and my heart is racing just typing this! I think I need an intervention.
Posted by: Susan | October 08, 2008 at 05:28 PM
These are so refreshing. I feel peaceful just reading them. Thank you for your message. I lead a small bible study at my home....We are going to use your book next semester. :)
Posted by: The Roost | October 08, 2008 at 05:52 PM
This is so good, but so difficult to maintain. There is comfort in knowing that I am not alone in that struggle -- we are all on a learning curve. I have been working hard to keep an accurate log and cannot wait to see what strategies or suggestions you have to offer.
Posted by: Lisa R-P | October 08, 2008 at 07:24 PM
Really great thoughts! I like your statement, "Boundaries are for our protection, not our punishment." Something I really need to remind myself of.
Posted by: Tammy | October 08, 2008 at 07:31 PM
Boundaries... this topic is so pertinent for me; NOW. I have taken on a lot this fall and have been struggling. This past week, all of my thoughts have been about boundaries; what's too much? Even though it has been a difficult 6 weeks, I think I was suppose to experience this for a reason... to learn to set boundaries. I'm simplifying and learning a good lesson... WHAT is REALLY important to me and my family.
Posted by: angela | October 08, 2008 at 08:44 PM