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  • Hello and welcome to my blog! My name is Joanne and I’ve been blogging for many years under the name The Simple Wife (you can see all of my old posts under the archives or by clicking on any of the categories that interest you). I love receiving comments from you and try to respond to each one personally. I hope you’ll visit often!

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I relate to this.

John pastored for many years. Every time we moved to a new place, we did the inviting. We picked a week night that worked for us, and each week on the appointed night we picked a family or two to join us for dinner. I had 2-3 menus that were easy to prepare and I rotated between them. Those weekly dinners were foundational to the relationships we made at each church we were a part of.

I've let that slide in the last few seems to have made a difference once we weren't a part of a church staff...but I so agree with you about being proactive. If you're sitting around waiting for an invite, you might be waiting for a long time and missing out on some blessings.

Have fun tonight.

PS--I signed up with two friends at church to feed 100 people in a few weeks. Maybe we'll make chicken tacos. ;)


Great point!!!

And I agree with Meredith....we were in and out of the ministry for 10+ years now. Needless to say we've moved around a LOT...

Currently, we are serving in my husband's "home" church, where he stepped down about a year ago from his position. It was hard for me to feel connected after we weren't paid staff.

I am generally shy by nature..maybe waiting for someone to befriend me...but clearly you all are right. In order to feel connected, a person MUST connect themselves.

I love reading your fun. Very glad to have found it. :)


It helps that you are in Phoenix. Alot of people are transplants and I found them to be incredibly easy to befriend when I lived there. Just ask around about who is a native. I am glad you are getting connected. Is it easier if you are on staff? Do you find people seek to get to know you because you are married to Toben? vs. an ordinary church attending family. Just curious.


Your post was so refreshing! The best way to find a friend is to BE a friend first! I know too many people who have been offended because no one was reaching out to them. Your main focus at church shouldn't be what you can GET out of it, but what you can GIVE. Not how others can minister to you, but who YOU can minister to!

Elizabeth Mardesen

I am loving following this ministry! I hope you will be able to bring it to Denver when you return. It would be awesome at our church - a growing start up with almost all young couples and families! BTW your excitement for the Esther study got me motivated to join in our study at church. We start Wednesday and I am so excited to get into a group study again. Have fun at the pool party- sounds fun!


Thanks for this post. My husband is an associate Pastor and we're at his first call and have been here just two years. We've been toying with the idea of an "open house" and just inviting more people for dinner. But with him being the pastor it gets a little sticky sometimes...and we have small kids so that adds to the dimension. But it's good to be reminded that being a friend first is always good! Thanks!


Thanks for the push! We've been in Nashville for two years and know almost no one... I was a pastor's kid and got used to being the one everyone approached. I don't have this luxury as an adult, but I still sit at home and wonder why I'm lonely. Thanks for the reminder- I needed that today!

Joanne Heim

Lisa: No I don¹t think being on staff at the church changes it really.
Because most people don¹t know Toben is on staff! He¹s not a pastor and has
never really been introduced in front of everyone. So we feel just like
everybody else! :)

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