Longing

I love a good rabbit trail. Especially when studying God's Word. When something I'm studying leads me someplace else and ends up not quite where I expected, but exactly where I need to be. 

As long as I leave a trail of notes (a good composition book and a Bic crystal are absolutely necessary), I can always find my way back to where I was and get back on the original path.

Anyway.

Yesterday morning I was following contentment through Scripture using the concordance in the back of my NIV Study Bible. Not exhaustive by any means, and subject to translation choices rather than the original languages, but it's what I had at the time and set me down a  path that ended where I'm going. If I can stop rabbit-trailing and just tell you what I want to tell you already!

So.

There's one reference to "contentment" in the Song of Songs. It's not really what I was looking for (which has to do with Psalm 23 as I prepare for Bible study in the spring), but was intriguing (because isn't the Song of Songs intriguing?) and I decided to come back to it this morning.

Here's what it says:

Thus I have become in his eyes like one bringing contentment.
 (Song of Songs 8:10)

Something in me just expands and aches with that. Yes, my soul sighs. 

I long for that to be true of me. A wife who brings contentment to Toben. O God, make this true of me for Toben, I pray!

In the Hebrew, the word that is translated "contentment" is shalom. Take a look at the definition: completeness, soundness, safety, peace, quiet, tranquility, contentment, friendship, peace (from war). The noun comes from a verb that means to be in a covenant of peace, to cause to be at peace, to be complete, to be finished, to make safe, to restore.

It's not something that's just going to happen. It's going to take some effort on my part. Some asking him how I can do this--even if the answers are uncomfortable. O, to be brave!

Am I causing Toben to be at peace? Am I a safe person for him? Does he feel safe with me, or am I causing him to hide? Am I truly a helpmate? Do I refrain from warring with him? What am I doing that brings him restoration?

We're headed up to a cabin in the mountains in a few weeks for four days of intensive counseling. Our eighteenth anniversary is coming up and it's been a long time since we've sat down and really focused on where we are, where we want to be, what might need some adjusting or just plain fixing.

We all settle into routines and schedules and life just kind of goes along sometimes without much thought or intention. I suppose it will be like going to the doctor for a full check-up.

I'm a little scared. Silly, but true. And yet I'm hopeful too. And eager for time to talk and think and dream and learn how I can become the wife I long to be.

Comments

[rhonda]

Excellant point- thanks for taking us down this trail - one I definitely need to go down. Very good points:)

[adele]

Thanks for these powerful words, Joanne. Let me know when that weekend is, and I'll be sure to intercede for you both during that time. Love ya!

[Susan]

So tell me more about this cabin in the woods counseling adventure...

Just the two of you and a counselor?

Is this a special facility (bad choice of word) that does this sort of thing?

I'm intrigued...and scared :)

[Melissa @ Breath of Life]

Friend, I so needed to read this today! I'm seeking desperately to be the wife my husband needs during this time of transition. I will be marking that verse in my Bible and praying over it!

[Marla Taviano]

This is awesome, friend. I've been praying for you. (and needed these convicting words today) Love you!!

[Aurora @ Under Transformation]

Praying for you all, my married sisters! Your hearts that want to honor God by blessing your husbands is such an encouragement!

[Ashley]

Thank you for your wisdom and convicting words spoken in love. I am inspired to love my husband better today.

[Jamie]

Thanks Joanne, just what I needed to hear. With my husband having such a stressful job I know that I need to be a small piece of peace for him when he comes home. I long for our home and my attitude to be a place that he longs to come for respite and peace. Thanks for the encouraging and insightful words!

[Stephanie]

Thanks Joanne!

[Michelle]

Wow...how did I miss this post? This is great...and such a good thing. I, too, long to be a safe place for my husband. I am not always successful...but I am getting better. Enjoy your weekend...it will be ALL good...even the crying.