Spiritual Mothering: Chapter 9

My Spiritual Mothering group at church finished up on Saturday morning, but with some plans to get together again after the holidays. Which is good, because I'm not ready for it to end! How I wish we could all sit face to face too!

Especially when I've typed up my answers to the discussion questions, hit a button, and Safari locks up and loses all of my answers. Ugh. I'll do my best to go back and re-answer the questions from chapter 8, but somehow it's never as good as what I said the first time. :)

Also, I emailed Susan Hunt the other day just to say hello and thank you for the book--and she emailed me back. I would love to attend a retreat with her. Wouldn't that be great?

Okay, on to chapter 9 and the story of Dorcas!

 

As always, there's no expiration date on these posts, so if you're catching up, don't feel pressured. Take your time to read and absorb what you're reading, to think about it, pray about it, ponder it. The goal is not just to get it done, but to be changed by what we're learning together.

Chapter 9: The Power of Acceptance

"How do we show acceptance of women in such a way as to encourage them? What qualities should a spiritual mother embody and teach to a younger woman?"

1. Do you battle the "super-woman syndrome"? In what ways? Be as specific as you can.

2. Dorcas "shows us that it is possible to be an intelligent, organized woman who is deeply involved in ministry without making others feel guilty or pressured" (page 131). 

Do you know any women like this? What are some of the things they do that prove this statement true?

3. Dorcas was careful "not to place demands on the woman but to communicate a belief in the woman's potential" (page 131).

If there were a scale for this, would you fall closer to placing demands or communicating belief in potential? Can you give an example?

4. Beginning on page 131, Hunt describes a series of "I can imagine" paragraphs about Dorcas. Is there one that stands out to you? One that you could take steps toward putting into practice this week?

5. Respond to the quote from Dobson on page 136 about the breakdown between women and women. Do you see this being true?

6. How can you help create a supportive network for women in your own sphere of influence? How can you connect with women around you and encourage them to connect with one another?

Could you start a prayer group, a book group, a play group? What about simply having women over for coffee or tea and giving them opportunity to connect? As you've talked about this book study, are there women who would like to go through this book? Could you host a group in your home?

Comments

[chapmanchick]

My husband suggested the name "Dorcas" for our then unborn baby. I laughed for about 20 minutes. He said it sounded better in his head. Um, yeah.

[Jamie]

I posted my answers on my blog:
http://jamespurejoy.blogspot.com/2009/11/spiritual-mothering-chapter-9.html

This is really giving me a LOT to think and pray about. I'm really sensing that this is a direction that our church needs to be headed in. I'm kinda scared that I feel like I'm going to be the one to get it started! ugh! Guess I just need to keep on praying!

[Lisa notes...]

I admit I am intimidated by the "superwomen" of my church, especially those skilled in the more "normal female" areas that I am not, such as hospitality and cooking and decorating. I'm sure I'm definitely not considered a superwoman in those ways. ha.

I liked the list of ways that Susan Hunt suggested modern-day Dorcas's can be encouraging. They sound relatively easy when she puts them in context like that. I guess I need things broken down in easy steps for it not to be overwhelming.

Jamie, that is exciting that God may be moving you into beginning a ministry like this. I would be kinda scared, too, but he will equip you to do it!

I've posted my summary here:

http://lisanotes.blogspot.com/2009/11/be-accepting-ch-9-mothering.html

[Joanne (The Simple Wife)]

1. YES. Not so much from watching others, but wanting to be superwoman myself and wanting others to think that's who I am. For me, it's all wrapped up in pride. That ugly thing.

I was telling someone the other day--perhaps it was a blog post, I can't remember now!--that my struggles aren't so much with outward behaviors. So it's easy for it to look like I have it all together on the outside.

On the inside though, that's a whole other thing...

2. I think the key is to encourage others that they can do it too. Not in a way that discounts the work involved, but includes others in it. I think these kinds of women are always happy to pass on their knowledge, to teach the skills they excel at, to draw others in and make them feel like their help is vital.

3. I'm definitely more of a placing demands kind of a gal than a communicating potential woman. I want to move on the scale! Especially at home with my own girls. I really struggle with this.

4. I love that Dorcas takes an interest in people she doesn't know, learns about them, remembers their names, and looks out for them in the future. I want to listen more carefully and remember what others tell me!

5. Yes, I see this. And long for the "olden days" described here. Bring back the quilting bee!

6. I think something I want to be active in doing is connecting my friends with each other. I love it when my friends become friends with each other!

[Tammy]

1. I think the area I struggle with this the most, is in the area of my daughter. I try so hard to be a "great" mom. I want to do the "best" job I can with her. So I put lots of pressure on myself and the pride thing comes into play here too.

2. I think they exhibit great humility and joy. They do what they do because they love the Lord and they want others to experience that same kind of joy in their life as well.

3. I think I fall on the side of communicating belief in their potential. It is much easier for me to encourage someone, than it is to demand something from them.

4. Writing notes to people. It seems so simple, yet I don't do it. And it would be so easy to sit down and write out a couple of encouraging words on a notecard, but yet I don't do it. So this is something I want to start doing, and keep doing.

5. I would agree. The majority of my friendships are kept up through e-mail and blogging. Not real life face-to-face interaction.

6. This is something I hope to start doing better. Especially after we move. Creating an atmosphere where people are comfortable and feel like sharing and getting to know one another.

[Ashley]

It has taken me a while to answer…largely because I am letting all these thoughts and pearls of wisdom percolate and go deep. Joanne, how cool that you’ve been in communication with Susan Hunt. I would so love to hear her speak.

1. I absolutely battle this syndrome. I perpetually feel as if I’m not doing enough or wonder what I should be doing better...particularly as a mom. And I expect myself to be all that other women are, rather than appreciating them for their strengths and gifts and appreciating myself for mine. We need each other. That’s one reason I’m so glad I am a part of the body.

2. They joyfully share what they are doing, but more as an invitation to see God at work than as a means to create self-doubt, guilt or pressure in another. I spoke with a woman just today about her work with some of the middle school girls of our church, and I was delighted by how she shared. In love. Giving God the praise for ways He’d answered her prayers regarding bringing fellow leaders. It was all spoken with such joy and grace, with recognition that serving these girls and partnering with God is a privilege. Beautiful.

3. I would be on the “communicating belief in potential” side. I really enjoy speaking hope and the goodness of what God has made in a woman or girl, but I constantly ask God to help me temper my encouraging with speaking words that “call out.” I pray this does not ever take the form of making demands, but with my own girls, this can be really difficult to discern for me.

4. I really resonated with taking special interest in the pastor’s wife and children. We just installed our new pastor today, and I spoke with his wife today in the kitchen at church. I believe it was a God-ordained meeting, and we are getting together this week. I am so excited about that. I highlighted this entire section (pgs. 131-134) because I feel like there are so many good challenges here for me to stretch and grow, to build others up and to help “create a family atmosphere” in the church. (p. 131) I love the ideas Susan Hunt had in regards to welcoming newcomers. So practical and, as one of you said, so good to see it broken down.

5. I absolutely believe this is true. May we as women reach out to extend our families to our friends, as well.

6. I am still thinking and praying about these ideas. I am so glad to have them before me. I will continue to pray about the shape God would want my organized outreach to take.

[Joanne (The Simple Wife)]

Ashley,

This stood out to me: "And I expect myself to be all that other women are, rather than appreciating them for their strengths and gifts and appreciating myself for mine."

Yes, I so get that. I struggle with feeling like I should be able to do it all and be it all myself. Thanks for the reminder that I am not the body, but a part of it, and that the body is made when we are all together.

Joanne