All day yesterday, I kept hearing that little voice telling me to be still.
"Be still."
I'm not very good at being still. For moments, yes. Early in the morning, yes. But in the midst of a day with lots to be done, in the midst of emotions swirling around and dragging me along? Not so much.
I love the idea that God will fight for me. But I find myself setting limits and windows of opportunities for him to act, and then wanting to charge ahead on my own again when the time's up.
"Be still."
Someone said to me the other day that a powerful racehorse is most powerful when it's bridled.
It's been a while since my horse-y phase. That was junior high school and English riding lessons, days spent at the barn in the Yorkshire Dales, grooming horses and shoveling muck and polishing saddles. Then a lull and another couple of years of horsiness before Audrey was born with more riding lessons, cute jodhpurs, a cantankerous horse, and an obsession with really lovely riding boots.
Anyway, the image stuck with me.
That's what being still felt like yesterday. Wanting to run. And being held back. Wanting to race ahead of myself. And being checked. A mind filled with thoughts in a whirl, spinning with every "what if" and "then what." And hearing a voice say, "Be still."
I want to learn to listen to that voice. To take heed. To rest in it. To wait for the command to run before I go racing off--heedlessly and in the wrong direction.
Wow. 'Zactly. Wow.
He and I have been going rounds over this ALL WEEK LONG. Every time I pick up the bible, or devotional or speak with someone He is sending me the message..."Susan, Be Still. Hear me. Allow me. Watch me."
*I'm mentally doing the two fingers pointed to my eyes and then pointing them at your eyes...we are simpatico lately. However, I'm relieved that R and I are not headed to intense mountain counseling this weekend. Just being honest ;)
<3 u
Posted by: Susan | December 10, 2009 at 07:53 AM
Yep...been hearing that too.. in fact, wrote a new song last month where part of the chorus says I would hurry to be still.
Life would be so much easier if I would just listen and DO what He says!!!
Posted by: ocean mommy | December 10, 2009 at 12:24 PM
I feel like I'm standing in front of the Red Sea, waiting for the Lord to part it. I want to jump in, but I don't want to drown. Hard to wait, though...
Posted by: Melissa @ Breath of Life | December 10, 2009 at 05:03 PM