Ever think about doing something, but don't do it, but somehow think you did? And then you check and realize you only thought about doing it and you'd better get with the program?
You too?
So here I thought I'd thanked you for the Bible study writing prayers last Friday--AND I TOTALLY DIDN'T. I just thought about it. And as I tell the girls, other people can't read our thoughts, we have to TELL them thank you, we have to SAY ALOUD the compliment we're thinking.
So...THANK YOU!
It was one of those days I couldn't type fast enough. Incredible. Amazing. Awe-some.
Yet there were moments when I'd suddenly feel completely overwhelmed and inadequate and terrified, but I put my hands in my lap, told God, "I'm overwhelmed and I need YOU to do this thing, because this is your Bible study and it needs to say what YOU want it to say." And I'd sit expectantly and pretty soon the typing would flow again.
It was so cool.
And from time to time your comments or emails would pop up, and they were like little jolts of caffeine to my system, giving me a thrill and a push to keep going.
Thank you.
And now I have to confess that I'm already doubting it. Silly, huh? I have moments--just moments, mind you, but moments nonetheless--where I suddenly think, Maybe it's not that good. Maybe that's not what you're supposed to say. You are no Beth, no Priscilla. What if you let all these women down?
Isn't it so crazy and yet so completely predictable that when we hear God's voice SO CLEARLY, SO SPECIFICALLY, SO SURELY that it doesn't take much time for Satan to come slinking along and make us question what we heard and if in fact we actually heard anything at all?!
Can I just say I hate that? In fact, I'll just go ahead and say I hate him. Makes me angry at him and all the more determined to stand strong. To stand firm. To resist him. To stick out my tongue at him and to tell him to GET LOST.
I'm guessing there are some of you who have heard God's voice and you knew that you knew that you knew it was him, and yet you're suddenly plagued with doubt. I want to encourage you this morning to stand firm in his Word, to trust that he speaks, to trust that he doesn't just speak to others, but that he speaks TO YOU.
I love you. Thanks for being my friend.
I needed that today. Thank you!
Posted by: rhonda | February 18, 2010 at 06:56 AM
I'm with Rhonda. Love you, friend!
Posted by: Marla Taviano | February 18, 2010 at 08:02 AM
Wow. I need to print this out and hang it above my work space. I am preparing to go to Belgium in the fall with a ministry team...and I will be talking to them and bringing them encouragement about depression. God has also asked me to write a devotional...a small booklet, maybe a 30-day type of devo, that can be tucked in one's purse...so that I can leave them with something to encourage them after we're gone. As you can see, the ideas are still formulating...and each time I get an idea...or a God download, I jot it in my notebook. I haven't sat at the computer yet...although I do have the booklet started in Publisher. It's ready and waiting for CONTENT. Thank you for posting this process...because I have to say I am TOTALLY terrified...totally unsure...totally insecure...and the doubt is constantly raging. But to know that it is obviously part of the territory when we are doing something for the Lord gives me hope that it will come..and that, with God, it can be done. With God, all things are possible, right?
Thank you again...xox
Posted by: Michelle | February 18, 2010 at 08:54 AM
"God is NOT the author of fear(doubt)" is one of my mantras!
I hope you're planning to share some of your study with your online freinds, too!
Blessings,
Dawn
Posted by: Dawn W | February 18, 2010 at 01:56 PM
Joanne,
I have never commented before but am an avid reader of your blog. Your post this morning really spoke to me and prompted me to comment. Thank you! Thank you so much for reminding us all that God is so good and that Satan wants so badly to tear that down. Thank you for reminding us that God truly does speak to each of us and all we need to do is be still and listen, but Satan tries so hard to keep us from being still. With God's help we can be still and we can listen and we can be strong against that mean ol' Satan!! Thank you! I truly needed this post! Nanette
Posted by: Nanette Evans | February 19, 2010 at 05:50 AM
There is a "Beautiful Blog Award" making the rounds of the blogosphere, and I selected you as one of "my" winners.
Thank you for being an inspiration! ~ Kathy
http://bloominginsuburbia.blogspot.com/2010/02/thank-you-for-beautiful-blogger-award.html
Posted by: Kathy | February 19, 2010 at 01:27 PM
You are right. You ARE no Priscilla. You ARE no Beth. You ARE Joanne. Created to be Joanne long, long before you were born. And you are wonderfully and perfectly...Joanne.
Do not forget it again, girl. Don't MAKE me come down there...
Love you.
S
Posted by: Susan | February 19, 2010 at 06:57 PM
*sigh*
Can I just say for the hundredmillionth time- I miss you?
Posted by: Kimberly | February 19, 2010 at 08:51 PM