10 reasons why I let my daughter have pink hair

1. She's asked for pink hair on and off for a couple of years now--it wasn't a momentary whim.

But it was against school rules to have a non-natural hair color, so we never dyed it. And let's be honest, that magenta is NOT natural! Since she's homeschooled, we're not breaking any rules. If she were in school, she wouldn't have pink hair. 

(That's why she has no Facebook account even though she wants one. She's not old enough and we will not let her lie about her birthday to get one.)

2. She's 11 and wanting to experiment with finding her own style. In light of some of the hoochy-mama and immodest clothes that are out there, pink hair seems relatively minor to me.

3. It's semi-permanent and will fade over time. It won't last forever!

4. I dyed it for her, so the whole process cost less than a new outfit. 

5. It looks really cute on her! Have to say, her blue eyes really pop with hot pink hair.

6. She wanted it for herself. 

Not because her friends were doing it, not because a boy said it would be cool (not that she cares about boys at all at this point!), not because she's seen anyone else with pink hair. 

We had some good conversations while I sectioned and colored all that hair (she has a LOT of hair). The truth is, if she were doing it for those reasons, I would not have let her do it. And she gets that.

7. Her daddy said yes. If he'd said no, her hair wouldn't be pink.

8. She's seeing that changing how she looks doesn't change who she is. 

Pink hair is fun, but she's still herself and still needs to make wise choices every single day about who she will be and how she will act.

9. She didn't whine and complain and nag about it. She gave us time to think about it, and I really think she'd have been okay if we'd said no.

10. In light of 1-9, why not?

 

 

Comments

[Melissa @ Breath of Life]

All good reasons, to be sure. My girl (also 11) wants a Facebook account, but we've continued to say no. At this point, she doesn't want pink hair...but if she did, I think I'd really give it more thought after reading your post.

[Kati]

I think that is great. You are a fun mom but one who really considers all aspects of the decision. :) I remember when I was growing up, it drove my mom crazy that I would paint my fingernail and toenails wild colors. My mom would always say that it is something that isn't permanent, and there were worse things I could be doing. Since I was a good student, she figured purple, teal or green fingernail and toenails were the least of her concerns. :) And eventually I outgrew that stage!

[Susan]

Your girls are so grounded...I never questioned why you and the Big T would allow her to have pink hair.

I'm thinking of going pink for our Relay for Life event. Wanna come out and do it for me?

Love you and love your pink-haired-beautiful girl.

[dawn]

thanks for including us in your thinking process...these decisions sometimes tap into the weirdest things for parents, and it takes effort to think them through and sort it out.

have you posted a pic? pink hair sounds fabulous!

[Karen]

Why not indeed! As a grandma, one thing I learned about raising kids (and life) don't sweat the small stuff. there's always big stuff around the corner. Hair color--small (and fun!!) stuff.

[Allison Talamantez]

I LOVE IT!!!!!!! I feel like I am pretty similar in many of my thoughts.....LOVE IT!

[Holly@Crownlaiddown]

Such a wonderful mom are you, friend. Really.

[Mindi]

Love it! And love that you did the dying! Being a part of the process especially as she's making the transition to a young teen is so important to helping her to see you as a resource & partner as she finds her own style and identity.
Plus I'm a fan of fun hair color. I have purple lowlights at the moment :)

[mzzterry]

I put a purple strip in my hair for my 49th birthday, because i could! I totally understand your thought process, It is in line with how I brought up my girls, my # 1 rule being choose your battles. Hair was never a battle. I saved battle (I never actually HAD a battle with my girls) but the non-negotiables were life and death matters, drugs, sex, riding in a car with someone who was using. They never did any of those. I like to think it is because of the relationship we built and the fact that we didn't fight over nonessentials, like the hair, the nail polish, the messy room stage, etc....

[Jen]

I love this post! Clearly, she is your daughter and you get to decide what she does and doesn't do, but I love your perspective!

I teach 3rd grade and see parents get really worked up about minor things and then disregard more major things. I think its great that you can say yes on these things that usually we say no to because of how it makes us feel/look, but because there is something wrong at the heart of it.

I pierced my nose about a year ago (a small stud) because I'd always wanted to and my husband really liked the idea. My parents were so concerned with how parents of kids in my class would respond, did it make me look irresponsible, etc. And I am a grown woman!

What freedom your girls have to SEE a godly marriage walked out and to KNOW they can really find out who they are without feeling confined by what mom's box says they have to be. I love that!

[Marla Taviano]

I love every last bit of this, and I think she looks GORGEOUS to boot! My girls' eyes lit up when they saw her pic.

[Brynn in CO]

You are a great mom. Thank you for sharing your thought process with us. It's so good to start thinking now (my own daughters are 4 and 2) about the best ways to respond to these types of issues. Thanks so much for being willing to share!

[Tiffany Morse]

I 100% love it! I'm that kind of mom, there are so so so many other things to worry about! Blessings sweet sister!

[Lisa R-p]

11. Because you are an awesome mom! Her hair looks great.

[Tara]

You are a great mom. Have you ever read "Grace Based Parenting?" Your list sounds like it could have come from that book. Really cool!

[Megan@SortaCrunchy]

I love this! Very, very cool and well-thought out.

I also would love to see a picture. Sounds like so much fun!

[Meli]

My mom was similar in her decisions for me. Her view when I was in 7th grade was that I wasn't smoking, doing drugs, or drinking, so why not let me dye my hair. The only condition was that for my Bat Mitzvah it had to go back to a natural looking hair color. And her response whenever anyone asked why she let me was, "Well, I dye my hair, but I just choose to dye it brown."

[Emily]

I dyed my hair purple when I was 10! My mom took me to have it done and was supportive for similar reasons. It remains a really fun memory (I'm 21 now) and I always use it as an example of how my parents cared about my HEART and motives and didn't get legalistic about just-doing-the-most-pious-outward-seeming-thing. We had a great relationship throughout middle and high school and now as I graduate from college! And I made better choices (ie no drinking, drugs, sex, etc) than a lot of my friends whose parents would have died before letting them do something so Out There. Yay for your grace and my parents' :-)

[Stephanie Parnell]

I decided long before I ever got pregnant that if my daughter one day wanted to dye her hair a funky color I would let her. When you are in the working world or an adult, you cannot do anything with your appearance that may be questionable to your customer base. And so I think more parents should let their kids experiment with the less-than-permanant options while they still don't have a ton of responsibility to anyone but themselves and their parents. It's fun, and I wish I had of dyed my hair before I started working at age 15.

[Jessica]

love it!

[EmilyB]

This is great! My mom is very similar to you--she let me a 2nd pair of ear piercings when I was 12 and get blue highlights when I was 17. It was fun and harmless! At 26, I still wear studs in my top holes, but thanks to my job, the blue is gone. I kind of miss it! :)

[Melanie Harrington]

Bravo, Mom! I always wanted pink hair when I was her age but never got it! My 3 girls have never asked but I would let them in a heartbeat.

[Lisa @ Simplified Saving]

We let our daughters dye their hair pink for some of the same reasons! We let them do it during the summer and then let it fade and grow out. They haven't asked to re-dye it.

I'm also glad to see I'm not the only "mean" mom who won't let her 11 year old have a Facebook account. I've told her that it wouldn't be right to use a fake ID and that having a Facebook page when you're not 13 is the same thing...lying about your age. It's hard when all of her friends are allowed to have Facebook accounts, but I know we're doing the right thing. I've also told her that she is more than welcome to write a letter to the powers that be at Facebook explaining her dilemma. If they are willing to make a special exception to the age limit, I'm willing to let her have a Facebook!

[wilhalen]

That's awesome!
I wish my mom had had that mindset. I'd asked her about all kinds of thing I'd wanted for years, not because other people had them - but because I genuinely wanted them. She almost always said no. So frustrating! She's 35 years older than me and always said stuff about how when SHE was growing up, she'd never have been allowed that. I wish I could have said to her: So? You were born in 1948! You don't have to parent exactly like YOUR parents did. Find your own style! Stop being so uptight about every little thing!
Then again, that would have been 'back talking'...
Anyway, I hope your daughter appreciates how awesome you are for doing this.

[danielle]

ok, so im 14 and i just want a piece of my hair died pink and my parents wont let me:/ WHY NOT???!??!?

[Brooke]

What dye did you use? Did you bleach it beforehand? I will be showing this to my mom very very soon( I am eleven and would like some part of my hair an odd color)

[Brooke]

Thank you so much for writing this, I showed this to my mom on Tuesday and she agreed to dye it tommorow. I am so thrilled and after scanning the student code of conduct found that my school allows unnatural colored hair :) and since I will not be bleaching it before I dye it, it will not be super damaged. Thanks again!

[vickie m.]

i just dyed my 9 year old's hair blue. you sound like me and even though i don't know you, i consider you a friend! :)

[Miranda]

Her hair looks so pretty :)

[HAIR EXTENSION]

The 10 reasons are reasonable. Thank you because I have something learned from it. This is very important for me. Keep it up.

[Lindsay]

Your 10 reasons are great. I've been trying to convince my mom to let me do the same for awhile. Hopefully if I show her this I can!

[Annabella]

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[bhjvk,]

i want to dye my hair light pink, but my mom won't let me. she complains to my dad that im going through a goth/emo phase when she thinks im not around. whatever. point is, im 13 and im just becoming a teenager, and i want to try things out. after my 8th grade year, of course. the summer before i enter high school, i want to expirament with who i am. im not wearing 1/8 of the eyeliner a normal scene girl wears, and she still thinks its wayyyy too much. i dont even have amillimeter thick on!!! and i MOST CERTAINLY AM NOT CUTTING MYSELF!!!

[SHELLIE]

im 11too and i cant convince my mum and dad to let me gey rambow highlights and they say that i cant EVER get them

[Rebecca]

Love. It.

You rock on with that pink hair, kiddo.

[wholesalehairtools]

I LOVE THIS.

[Allison]

Ok so I really want someone to reply to this!! PLEASE!!
Ok so my mom and dad let me die my hair blonde (not plantinium) and I'm 13 so I'm pretty happy about that! But I really want to Dip due my hair in a pink and purple dye bier only temporary, and I asked my my mom and she totally agrees with it, but my dad said that if I ever do that he will shave my head bald because it's just wrong and I should even die my hair at my age because it's bad for my hair, and I seriously know everything about dying my hair do I could do it myself and pay for it, I just want and need my dads approval.. How do I convince him to let my dip dye my hair!?!?! D:

[Emily]

I wanna dye the bottom layer of my hair purple but my parents wouldn't let me so I think I'm going to write a letter about why I should dye my hair any ideas pliz

[Kailee]

IM 11 and I want 1 strand of my hair dyed green. How do I explain to my parents?please reply :)

[hotel sur paris]

IM 11 and I want 1 strand of my hair dyed green. How do I explain to my parents?please reply :)
+1

[Gabrielle]

I am going pink with black I'm 11 dyed my hair dark/bright red temp 3 Mounths ago now it's more dark orange lol it took forever to convince my parents 0:

[Amenas Vantas]

I'm 11 and I'm trying to convince my Mum to let me dye the underlayer of my hair teal. So far, I've had no luck. But I think if I bring up this, I might be able to do it.

[Sarafina]

PLEASE REPLY!!!! Im 11 and im trying to convice my mom to let me dye my hair a red velvet cupcake color.I have already dyed a streak of it purple and 6 other blue and purple. so far no luck. i dont see why i cant. ive been asking for this a few weeks now and i need help!!!!

[Sarafina]

hello! i posted a earlyier comment on the red hair and it worked!!!!! i now hav red hair becuse I brought upthese ideas! thank you for making my dreams come true bai!

[Kat]

I agree with your views on this. My mom has been okay with me dying my hair since I was 7, though I didn't want to until I was 13. Her only conditions were that I didn't bleach it all (first time was a year ago, she did 4 streaks for me), and that I understood how to take care of it and did so. I didn't care to do any unnatural colors until recently, and she's been all for it. I went through the entire color spectrum for natural colors except lighter than red, because I have naturally black hair and it'd be too damaging. Because of her views on it, I'd be okay with my kid dying her hair with the same rules. It's not permanent and I don't see a problem with temporary hair colors.

[Sarafina]

ikr? thank you for agreeing with me. but for anybody who is reading this, it takes ALOT of hard work! I have had to touch up the roots like every six weeks! that part isnt to great. but the reaction from my classmates woah! it was like an avalanch of comments!everyone lover it! and I do to

[Shonhae]

My 5 year old saw me doing my hair and nagged me for blonde highlights. I did it, and I hate it but she loves it and I got to bond with her so in the end I'm happy that she's happy. She just can't stop smiling when she looks at herself in the mirror, lol!

[Allicat24]

amazing, what you did!!! im trying to convince my mom to let me dye my hair pink too for breast cancer awareness and you are just awesome!!! i will be showing her your post totally!!! :)

[monofilament wig]

4. I dyed it for her, so the whole process cost less than a new outfit. My reason is pink hair means fashion and modern and young.

[clip in hair extension]

Why you let the little girl have pink hair. amazing, what you did!!! Types of wigs from www.Uniwigs.com

[Poebee]

you should dye her in blonde first then pink! that would be so amazing ;-D I wanna dye my hair in pink too but my grandma is against to me >.< i wanna dye my hair in light brown too cause i got so many white hairs but my dad is against too -.- i hate them.. lol im only 15 but i got white hairs dont know why! is it because im sleeping over with wet hair? haha

[Lynn]

Oh how I wish my mom was like that!

[chocolover]

I am 11 and my mum won't even let me dip dye my hair!She is letting me dip dye it with kool-aid though. Look it up on youtube vids!!

[Katie]

I am 11 and My mum and dad wont let me dip dye my hair :( I dont know if dyed hair is allowed in my school, i told him it would only last about 6 weeks and my sister had all of her hair dyed when she was 14! so i dont see how im not allowed get the ends dyed!! please help!! :(

[Will]

I like the color, it suits the 12 year old girl, amazing

[Sabrina]

Realizing I'm late to the party, I will say this:

As a mom of a kiddo whom has dyed her hair since the late 4th grade (she's just entered 6th..she just dyed her whole head teal from pink.. it looks awesome!!) rock on with your bad self. When our kids become adults, most of the time good jobs won't always allow for funky hair. Might as well run with it while you can. Besides, if your kid is doing what they need to do by getting good grades, being a good person, and knowing right from wrong, pink hair doesn't matter in the long run!

[Rebecca]

I've been asking my mom to let me dye my hair red since I was 10!! And she said hell no and then I ask if I can a natural color(so she cud get used to me hving diff color hair) and she still said hell no...I acted like it wss no big deal but I really wnt this...and I also wnt piercings but for some reason she thinks I'm just trying to be rebllious or someone told me to and I tld her "do u see any of my friend with red hair?" I acutally wnt the red hair and piercings for myself I find thr it matches who I am...but my parents dnt get tht..they expect me to be..."perfect" and by tht I mmean get good grades have nomal colored hair no piercings no tattoes no streched ears nada (nothing)

[kimi]

You are an amazing, incredible mom for letting your daughter dye her hair an "unnatural color" and especially at a young age. I am 17, almost 18 and my parents still say no because it is "not normal." I.am very frustrated and upset. I just want to be me. . When and if I ever become a mom, I am going to be like you.

[unicorn]

Thank you! We need more people like you. Im 13 and my mom is kinda like you. Ive had my hair dyed blue and purple at the bottom (separate times) and might dye it all green. My mom's option was "if the worst she's gonna do is dye her hair different colors and hang out in her room so be it. Id rather her do that then be out drinking all night or end up with a baby before 20" lol my moms kinda blunt.

[Morgan]

I love it. For her being so little and doing it for herself reminds me of me, I was in 4th grade and wanted red hair, my parents already had the hair dye and said okay why not. I'm now 15, and have dyed my hair so many colors, but my hair is really healthy and beautiful, as of this moment it's black, and staying that way til it fades. I'm also now a freshmen at Thornton high school and we don't really have a rule against hair dye. 😁

[Grace Anderson]

I am actually trying to convince my parents to let me dye my hair pink... The main problem is the price, but tbh, I want it done permanatly and proffesionally. Any sugestions on how to convince them?