Back to normal life

Toben and I decided we need a term for the opposite of deja vu. For those times when (instead of feeling like something has happened before) there's a feeling of something that's supposed to be happening that isn't.

Pretty much the feeling we had all weekend around here. I felt like I was waiting for something, that there was something just out of reach that was supposed to be, a shadow of reality not quite materialized. Hmm...like a trip to Arizona, perhaps.

Any ideas?

Anyway, we're back to real life around here, and it was good to wake up this morning at home as planned, right where we belong, looking ahead to a new week. I'm hoping Audrey feels the same way when she wakes up later. This weekend kicked her tail and left me feeling very much like this as a result:

 

 

If you're a mama, you get it. Do NOT mess with my girl. 

And being faced with questions I can't answer, her feelings of disappointment and rejection turned inward so she thinks she did something wrong, holding her while she cries and her heart breaks with the exhaustion of plans being made and cancelled, made and cancelled...well, yep, that picture pretty much sums it up.

Yet.

God did work a whole lot of good out of the circumstances of this weekend. How do I know? I made a list this morning. (Of course I did.)

And the thing is, the list doesn't erase the heartache, it just sits next to it. The good God works out is an AND, not an OR. So often, I think we feel like we have to deny the bad to find the good. And I just don't think that's right. 

The cross of Christ was something God worked hugely for our good. But that good didn't erase the agony of it. The pain, the sorrow, the separation was real, and to deny it would somehow cheapen it.

We don't have to pretend like everything's alright when it's not. But we can say that in the midst of the not alright-ness, God is still faithful, still good, and actively working good. 

In Lamentations 3, Jeremiah (who most believe to be the author of the book) remembers his sorrow, recalls bitterness, acknowledges affliction. We sometimes forget these verses:

I remember my affliction and my wandering,
    the bitterness and the gall.
I well remember them,
    and my soul is downcast within me.

And jump straight to these ones:

Yet this I call to mind
    and therefore I have hope:
Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
    for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness. 

Funny isn't it--that we know the end of this verse so well. But there's something to be learned from the beginning too, I think. Somehow God's compassions seem even greater when they follow on the heels of "well remembering" the things that have hurt.

Comments

[dawn]

Having similar reflections this morning as we contemplate some tough stuff in the lives of those we love. I love how you said it's an AND. It is. I think people think you are not being grateful or Christlike if you acknowledge the pain. Thanks for your thoughts today.

[Angie Platten]

I have been learning so much about this over the past two years. I have found that in the suffering, I see God bigger and more clearly for who He really is and who I really am than any other time. Only our God could create such beautiful treasures in the midst of such awful pain. In the midst, I am learning to trust the God will really keep his promise of Roman 8:28. Life is all about balance, isn't it? The beauty in the midst of pain, suffering, and death.

One of my favorite quotes is etched in a rock at a local prayer garden:
Say yes to the will of God and the suffering will lose it's power.

[adele]

I'm so sorry to hear about Audrey's difficult weekend, and the heartbreak that came alongside of it. :( I sent up a few prayer for you guys this weekend, and I pray that you continue to find the "good" and God's redeeming power in the midst of all this. Be blessed, friend!

[Corey]

This was so encouraging and exactly what I needed to read today.

[Anuja]

I love the "Yet" that connects the suffering and God's faithfulness in these verses. You are right that we often don't look at life as a whole with the hard parts and the good parts.
But God is teaching me lately that all my experiences are a part of His plan and all of them make me who I am today. I am so encouraged by your blog. Thank you for taking the time to connect with me in bloggy land.