For the last few days thoughts have been forming that finally I finally got clarity on today. Joanne is now at the point where she is going to need as much help with her mental state of well being as with her physical state of well being. We have poured all of our efforts of the last month into her physical health and comfort, but now that she is fully aware of what is happening, we need to start to pay just as much attention to her emotional, spiritual, and mental states as well.
And a good start would be for her to get a darned popsicle! Terry the speech therapist has created a monster and now all Joanne can ask about is when her popsicle is coming. I have to tell her at least half a dozen times today that I just don't have the authority to give her one and that stunk! I would go to the ends of the Earth for Joanne but I am powerless to give her an artificially flavored, sugary, frozen treat. Please Terry, just one popsicle a day is all we're asking for....and maybe some Sprite (her other big request).
It's a big shift to have Joanne communicating. A dear friend texted this afternoon and asked if she could visit Joanne this week. At first I said I would check with Mom, who will be with Joanne mornings this week now that I am going back to work. But then I thought, "Actually, I can ask Joanne if she wants visitors." That's a game changer. Joanne is now able to make some decisions for herself after a month of being unable to functionally decide anything.
I am thrilled that she is communicating. But there is a sadness that comes with hearing her express fear, worry, discomfort, etc.. For a long time it was just about getting the bed adjusted and the pillows in the right place to keep her resting comfortably. But she can put her hand to her head and feel the scar and the indentation and realize that something really isn't how it should be. She can complain of shoulder and arm pain from always being rolled to her left side (she can't be rolled to the right because of the brain flap). She can feel the trach and is aware that she isn't breathing through her nose and mouth. All of that is a lot to take in. And we are powerless to do anything about it other then to explain to her exactly what is going on, the schedule and prognosis for her care and to try to allay her fears, worries, and discomfort...
...or at least get her a darned popsicle!
Prayer requests:
1. Joanne now needs more than just physical care. Please pray that we will know how to best care for her mental, emotional and spiritual needs as well. We'd love to be able to do at least one thing to lift her spirits each day. She has a very, very long road ahead of her and she is going to be bone weary during this journey. Just like a marathon runner needs water stations, Joanne is going to need some things to keep her going along the way, to keep her motivated and energized. Please pray that God would give us insight.
2. Big decisions loom this week: where Joanne will go to rehab and when she will get her bone flap back in. We need information, wisdom and favor from the insurance company for this all to go the way we would like it to go. Please pray for God's guidance.
3. Please pray that Joanne's tests come back negative for infection this week. We need her healthy in this process. And besides that, we are all tired of wearing gowns and gloves into her room every day!
4. POPSICLES!!!
Toben
I've never in my life prayed for popsicles, but I assure you I am tonight.
Posted by: Gail @ Pandemonium in the Parsonage | February 13, 2011 at 06:51 PM
Heavenly and most gracious God of ours: First, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. Thank you for drawing so many together at this site to claim your power...sovereignty...and glory, most of all thank you for allowing all of us to see through the eyes and hearts of this precious family, how awesome your love is for each of us. Everyday, all day, and in every way.
Lord God, you are the one who knows all of our needs. I ask in your name, peace for the family, trust and comfort for Jo, wisdom and insight for the medical community who have and will care for her, and most of all Lord, I ask for Jo to have Popsicles everyday!
Tomorrow evening my family will join hands at our Valentines Dinner, bless our food, pray for the Heims, and we will be eating POPSICLES. Thanks to all of you girls, Toben, Kristin, Mom and dad etc...for letting us join in your family love story.
Love from a siesta in Duncanville Texas.
Posted by: Teri | February 13, 2011 at 06:52 PM
Well, I think this is a first BUT I am praying for POPSICLES:) God's richest blessings on ALL of you! HUGS from Georgia!
Posted by: Theresa Roach | February 13, 2011 at 06:52 PM
These are such REAL needs, Toben! I know you are probably pretty stressed about needing to return to work too.
Pryaing for divine wisdom and revelation for these needs and no doubt, many others.
Posted by: Melana Cummings | February 13, 2011 at 06:52 PM
Praying BIG.
Posted by: Kerry | February 13, 2011 at 06:53 PM
Consider all your special prayer requests prayed over and extra prayers said for you and the entire family as a new week awaits you. As overwhelming as it must be, all the decisions that you now will be having to make as a family, never lose sight of the fact that they are POSITIVE decisions! Joanne is moving forward in her recovery and that is the BIG answer from an incredibly loving, big God. Blessings and popsicle prayers....Lisa Walker in Atlanta
Posted by: lisa walker | February 13, 2011 at 07:07 PM
I am praying for your family. Thank you for taking the time to share this journey with us.
Posted by: Amey Clark | February 13, 2011 at 07:16 PM
Gracious Lord, we praise you so much for Joanne being able to make her needs known. That is such an amazing gift of healing and sweet answers to prayer. We ask now that Joanne be able to pass her swallowing test enough so that she can enjoy some simple pleasures and satisfy her cravings for sweet refreshments. Thank you for hearing our prayers and allowing us to see Your glory in how You are working in this family. AMEN
Posted by: Carol Avery | February 13, 2011 at 07:24 PM
Toben, I am sobbing.
Posted by: Kathy Hutchinson | February 13, 2011 at 07:38 PM
Why won't they let her have a Popsicle? Didn't she have one before? I'm confused.
Posted by: Rachel | February 13, 2011 at 07:43 PM
I'm praying and keeping you all in prayer. I'm truly glad that Joanne is starting to let you know what she wants. It's the first step to having her back.
Posted by: Maribeth | February 13, 2011 at 07:49 PM
Your precious family is in my prayers. I'm just a blog follower from afar but feel connected with you because God has a way of binding our hearts together with brothers and sisters who are on the journey home. I am praying for peace and comfort, guidance and wisdom for all of you as Joanne recovers and as you all love her to wholeness and healing. My two daughters love popsicles too, so I will think of your sweet Joanne and pray for her each time they indulge in a sugary treat. Much love and prayers from one sojourner to another.
Posted by: Jennifer | February 13, 2011 at 07:52 PM
continuing to pray and share this with my students, friends, and family about your family and the situation to lift you up as well...
Thank you for the updates.
I actually hope to meet you guys one day.
Heather from Birmingham, Alabama
Posted by: Heather | February 13, 2011 at 08:13 PM
Wow, leaps and bounds! Praying and praying for you all.
<><
Posted by: Child of God | February 13, 2011 at 08:23 PM
Still praying Big...here in Memphis,TN
Posted by: Mary Lou | February 13, 2011 at 08:28 PM
A Popsicle...something so simple, cheap, easy to come by. Yet, a significant reminder that we have have comforts and assurances that we take for granted every day. I am reminded of the prayer of St. Francais "Make me a channel of your peace...oh Master grant that I may never seek so much to be consoled as to console..."! And dear Toben, how you do console.
May we all be reminded to take nothing for granted. Not each day. Not the love of our family and friends. Not the ability to roll over in bed. Not the option to scratch our nose unassisted should it itch. And njot an orange popsicle!
Prayers for all things frozen and sugary, a week with work colleagues, school friends for the girls and normalcy, normalcy, normalcy!
Posted by: Auntie Mip | February 13, 2011 at 08:33 PM
Praying big for everyone and everything, including those POPSICLES. Please, Lord, come soon or bring POPSICLES!
Peace,
Kim Feth
Apex, NC
Posted by: Kim Feth | February 13, 2011 at 08:34 PM
I think that Joanne should have all the popsicles she wants! I know there are good reasons blah blah blah BUT she should have whatever she wants while she does all this hard work. I will certainly pray for Joanne and her needs and yours too.
Posted by: Rose | February 13, 2011 at 08:40 PM
Praying for peace for all, for inspiration and encouragement and popsicles for Joanne.
Posted by: Betsy | February 13, 2011 at 08:49 PM
Praise for all the progress. Yeah for Emma! Prayer from the Koss family for the lot of you. Special prayer as T heads back to work.
Blessings,
Erin
Posted by: Erin Koss | February 13, 2011 at 08:51 PM
I think Joanne needs some memory verse to work on. This just came to me while I was praying for her. We had just started our Siesta Memory work for the year. Her first verse: 1 John 4:19 We love Him because He first loved us. Bring her back to this, let her dwell on His word. And yes, we be prayin' about that popsicle!
Posted by: Patti in Craig | February 13, 2011 at 08:55 PM
Praying for the simple pleasures in life as well as the big decisions and work ahead. Reading Kristin's post yesterday and Joanne's comment that she was too young for a stroke really hit home that she is processing everything.
I will be praying that the Lord will heal her in every way possible.
Posted by: Helen at A Work of Heart | February 13, 2011 at 09:09 PM
Praying every day for Joanne and you all. So much love coming your way. . .
Posted by: Carolyn McCready | February 13, 2011 at 09:21 PM
I am a speech therapist who has spent my career working with patients with stroke and brain injury. I can identify with the popsicle problem :) It sounds like Joanne has made amazing gains in the last few days-- she'll have out-of-therapy popsicle privilages in no time!
I'm praying for complete recovery for Joanne-- the human body is such an amazing creation from God and can rebuild and cope with more than we can even understand.
Praise God for the progress she's made so far!
Posted by: Sarah | February 13, 2011 at 09:22 PM
Oh my goodness God, Please let Joanne have a Popsicle everyday!!!
Thank you Lord!
I was just reading Romans 8:26-27
"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness.
We do not know what we ought to pray for,
But the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.
And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit,
Because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will."
Praying that Joanne is filled with His Holy Spirit so that He can help her get through the valley, and deal with all the challenges she is facing!!
Thank You Jesus for all you are doing for us and in us!!!
And Lord, please don't forget the Popsicle!!! :-)
Posted by: Colette | February 13, 2011 at 09:34 PM
Ask Terry about this: http://thisheartbroken.wordpress.com/2009/07/30/how-to-make-popsicles-for-a-child-with-dysphagia/
Posted by: Karen | February 13, 2011 at 09:39 PM
Dear Father,
I lift Joanne up to you and all her needs this day. I pray that she will be comforted through all the prayers that are being said on her behalf. I trust that you will continue to heal this dear friend and communicate to all of us how to best care for her needs. I pray for her mental, spiritual, physical, and emotional well being. We give you praise Lord for the progress so far. In His name....Amen.
"Thank you Lord, it is His love that arranges our tomorrows-and we may be certain that whatever tomorrow brings, His love sent it our way." (Growing Strong in the Seasons of Life.)
Much love
Jennifer Redlands, CA
Posted by: Jennifer | February 13, 2011 at 09:42 PM
Praying for it all...including the popsicles!!
Posted by: erin | February 13, 2011 at 10:36 PM
Hi Toben,
This is Ryan, Joanne's Greek prof. from the fall semester. I just wanted to drop you a note and let you know that we have been praying for you all as a class (and will continue to do so throughout the spring semester).
We miss the warmth and insight Joanne brought to our weekly gatherings. One of my students made a beautiful card that we've all signed, and I'll be sending it along this week.
in Christ,
Ryan
Posted by: Ryan L | February 13, 2011 at 11:18 PM
God will wonder what is going on with all these requests for popsicles! I will keep the treats in my thoughts today. Such good news though that Joanne is more aware now and that she can communicate.
Sending you all my love and best wishes.
Posted by: Perfecting Pru | February 14, 2011 at 02:13 AM
POPSICLES!!!!! Even if they have to be thickened and refrozen, POPSICLES!!! Orange ones!!! *jumps around room*
Posted by: Rachel B | February 14, 2011 at 04:30 AM
Praying Big for Popsicles, Progress and Peace!
Posted by: Amelia in NC | February 14, 2011 at 05:11 AM
I don't know what your feelings are on the subject, but when my sister-in-law had a stroke, her doctors and therapists recommended a low dose of an anti-depressant. They told us that studies showed more progress sooner in patients that were on anti-depressants. My sister-in-law decided it was the right thing for her, it's not for everyone, but I do believe it helped her progress.
Posted by: CJ | February 14, 2011 at 06:49 AM
Thanks for the update
We are lifting up these requests
Praying without ceasing in Ga
Kim - connorcolesmom
Posted by: Kim | February 14, 2011 at 07:10 AM
Thanks for always updating us in such detail! We all appreciate you, Toben! And I'm praying for all these requests and especially for a popsicle today!
Ashley in TX
Posted by: Ashley Honea | February 14, 2011 at 07:20 AM
I just want to ENCOURAGE you today in the truth that Father God who notices one sparrow fall.. cares about popsicles and your daily requests...and as He has helped you so much in these past days HE WILL still help and guide you.
Love and prayers
Posted by: Ruthy ;o) | February 14, 2011 at 07:41 AM
Audrey,
I know that you don't have any clue who I am, and that doesn't really matter. I am just one of the many who are praying for all of you. I just wanted to share something from my life that might help. When I was 15 my mother died in a car accident. Before, she left the house that day, she and I had been in a fuss. I felt so bad and so guilty for many, many years. I came to understand, though, that although we had fussed, my mother knew that I loved her very much. We don't always agree with each other, but that doesn't mean we don't care. Be encouraged, sweet girl,your family is blessed by you. Blessings today.
Posted by: Deidra | February 14, 2011 at 08:19 AM
Praying for a popsicle today! God is in the big and small things and He is able! Love and blessings today to your sweet family...
Posted by: joyce | February 14, 2011 at 08:46 AM
Praying, Toben. Can't tell you how much I appreciate you letting all of us have a seat to watch God work this miracle in Joanne's life. It's a huge effort and vulnerability on your part, and I just wanted to say thank you. My faith has really been bolstered as I watch you and your family navigate this path. Praying for all the things you request each day...
Posted by: Karen Booker Schelhaas | February 14, 2011 at 08:48 AM
The popsicles just make me smile. I am praying for this new place in your journey. God is moving her so far! So grateful for what He's going to continue to do in Joanne's health and mental/emotional state of being.
Posted by: Jean | February 14, 2011 at 09:33 AM
So broken on your behalf. My heart aches for your family. Your older daughter. Joanne. I am in tears as I read what ya'll are going through. I wanted to tell you that I was not familiar with Joanne until I was sent a request to pray for her. Her blog was attached and I have been reading ever since. She is ministering to me on a daily basis. I have been praying for your family and will continue over these next days, weeks and months of recovery. Our God will not leave us in the dessert. And I'm calling on Him daily for your entire family. Your girls have been especially heavy on my heart. The updates you give are so helpful in knowing how to pray and in giving context into your dailyness. I was reading a post Joanne made several years back about ya'll moving. She talked about it being out of the blue so to speak and not what she had been expecting. But she was trusting God to lead you and she followed and was trusting God. And she seemed so proud of your leadership in the whole ordeal even though she didn't totally understand. I get the feeling that ya'll have moved to CO where her family was??? I'm not sure about that but it just feels like God's hand in your move there may have a lot to do with what ya'll are experiencing right now with much needed support, love and care from immediate family. Of course, I could have read that blog post ALL wrong but I just can't get that out of my head. God's sovereignty years back that has everything to do with Today and all the tomorrow's you face. I'm sorry for rambling, but have had that on my heart for a long time. Our family is loving on your family from a far today.
Posted by: Melody | February 14, 2011 at 09:33 AM
Still praying for your family. I am believing that Joanna is going to make a wonderful recovery. I pray for the popsicles and the spirit.
Posted by: Tracy | February 14, 2011 at 11:02 AM
Still praying for you here in Alabama! Hoping the Lord provides that direction and information you need to find the perfect rehab place for her. And, if I were closer, I would totally sneak in a popsicle for her... I'm a rebel, what can I say? :) Praying God's blessing will continue to pour out onto your whole family!
Posted by: tamara | February 14, 2011 at 12:38 PM
So, so much on your plate. I will pray that your plate include an abundance of popsicles. and wisdom. and peace.
Posted by: Tara (Bowers) Bain | February 14, 2011 at 12:45 PM
There will be times when Joanne will be mad at herself for not being able to take care of VERY SIMPLE things. She will have a time where she is sure you and your daughters don't need THIS BURDEN. I read past blogs about Joanne's relationg ship with God and I don't think she will have a long period of wondering WHY GOD. I believe she will be more in awe of how precious she is to her Father in Heaven. Another person wrote how lucky Joanne (and her family) have such a good fellowship with the Lord, I agree I don't know how a person can go through all this and feel so alone. My prayers are with you and yours. Glad Emma has seen her mom and more happy that Joanne is able to recogize her. I wasn't able to for a while.
God Bless You
Posted by: Debi | February 14, 2011 at 01:20 PM
Praying for popsicles and you all.
Posted by: Stacy | February 14, 2011 at 02:00 PM
Toben, you are amazing and a gift to your wife and your daughters. I have been reading about Joanne's stroke for a couple of weeks now and I am in awe. It has been my experience that in stressful situations you can only put one foot in front of the other, deal with the tasks at hand and then, when everything clears, will you be able to see the awe in what you dealt with. Prayers for you and your family and for popsicles :)
Posted by: Jennifer | February 14, 2011 at 03:24 PM
praying for popsicles! and more!
Posted by: melissa irwin | February 14, 2011 at 04:40 PM
Dear Poppa God...."Popsicles, please!" And wisdom from above, especially for Toben to know and understand, supernaturally what Joanne has need of, spirit, soul and body.
I'm so tickled your beloved asked you to be her Valentine. What a mountain she has already climbed, and more to come. This I know: Love finds a way.
Posted by: Pam Houston | February 14, 2011 at 10:22 PM