Audrey is a huge TobyMac fan so we are off to his Winter WonderSlam concert tonight.We bought tickets a couple of months ago and Audrey has been excited about it ever since. So I am excited for her too. Of course she keeps trying to figure out how we are going to get back stage to hang out with Toby and the rest of the band. When Audrey was younger we went to a lot of concerts and because of my job we got a lot of back stage access and face-time with various artists (including Toby) so now when we go to shows she just sort of expects that we should get to go back stage. Poor kid! I'm sure the show will be great. I have always thought that TobyMac puts on the best show in Christian music.
This morning Joanne was in the chair again when I got here. It is so cool to see her out of bed, and I am sure it's got to feel good to her after spending 22 hours a day on her back. We try to turn her, shift her weight, wedge pillows here and there to try and keep her comfortable, but there is only so much you can do. This afternoon it is pretty obvious that she is uncomfortable and we don't seem to be able to fix it. Can't wait for her to get to the point where she can tell us what's hurting so we can fix it. Right now all we can do is guess, and that is frustrating.
She has a good OT session this morning. She worked with a few different colored batons, moving them to the left and to the right and stacking one inside the other. She seems to be able to recognize colors and in moving from right to left she is demonstrating that she may not have to much trouble with "left side neglect" which is a condition where she simply wouldn't be aware of the left side of the world. Sounds strange, but apparently it's pretty normal for folks who have had a stroke like hers: they just don't comprehend "left." So it's cool that she seems to recognize her left.
Had great visits from a her Bible study ladies this morning. the chatted a lot and Joanne gave many thumbs up, hand squeezes and cracked a few smiles. So good to see that. Joanne was definitely tuning in even though she had here eyes closed much of the time. She did open them up from time to time, but she still seems to exist in a state somewhere between being awake and asleep. Maybe tomorrow they are going to start her on a drug called Provigil that is supposed to be a brain stimulant. Interested to see what effect that has on her.
Gran is here now and I am leaving in a little bit to get the girls from school. I think we'll head home for a little rest before Audrey and I leave for the concert. It's going to be a late night for her tonight and I don't want her to come completely unglued when she has to get up for school tomorrow. Of course, as a 12 year old girl, chances are pretty good she'll come unglued regardless of the rest she gets this afternoon. Had a good chat with one of Joanne's BFFs who also has a 12 year old daughter and it turns out that Audrey is completely normal--being a 12 year old girl is just tough, no matter how you slice it. Add the mom situation on top of that and I'm honestly surprised that she is keeping it together as well as she is. Fortunately for me, I have Gran and Papa around to help me keep the wheels on her emotional roller coaster. Still, it's a tough age...
Prayer requests:
1. Pray for Audrey to just have a great time tonight at the concert. I would love for her to be able to forget her troubles for a few hours and just have fun dancing around and singing along at the top of her lungs.
2. Continued progress in all Joanne's therapies (OT, PT, and speech). She has lost a lot of muscle tone in the last three weeks and needs to rebuild some of that through these therapies. Also, she needs energy, strength and stamina to fully participate. Even the smallest moves or activities drain her. We need God to provide supernatural strength!
3. After watching Joanne is obvious discomfort for a while today I would love prayer for her body, that she would be able to get comfortable and rest even though she is unable to move herself into comfortable positions. Give all of us who care for her the wisdom to know how to help her be at ease.
Toben
Toben, thanks for the awesome update. You do a great job updating all of us and we are SO appreciative of that. We know that you do not HAVE to do it, but you do because you know how much we all care and love your beautiful wife. Your prayer requests will be lifted to the Lord earnestly. Thank you for being specific in those requests. God bless you and praying you and Audrey have a great time together tonight at the concert!
Hugs from Ashley in COLD west Texas!
Posted by: Ashley Honea | February 03, 2011 at 02:16 PM
Have fun Audrey! Don't give your Dad, or Gran and Papa hard time in the morning, or I'll come over and beat you up. You know I can too...no matter how hard you try, I'll always be bigger than you. Love you. Aunt Kristen.
Posted by: Kristen | February 03, 2011 at 02:45 PM
Praising and Praying.
Posted by: merlin | February 03, 2011 at 02:54 PM
So encouraged by all of Joanne's progress. Thanks so much for the updates and have a good time tonight with Audrey at the concert!
Posted by: Beth | February 03, 2011 at 03:01 PM
Thank you so much for these updates Toben!!!! Praying for all the things you ask. All of you are loved. I'm happy to pray for our sweet Joanne.
((hugs)) from TN
Posted by: Fran | February 03, 2011 at 03:01 PM
Have a great time tonight! Always praying for Joanne!
Posted by: Noell | February 03, 2011 at 03:03 PM
Praying for Joanne and your whole family still. Toben, thank you for sharing her progress. I believe the concert tonight will be amazing.
Posted by: Tiffany @ Tea with Tiffany | February 03, 2011 at 03:25 PM
Thank you so much for taking the time to do the updates! I've been thinking what I would love to do for Joanne, if I just lived closer. I would want to get some of her favorite books, and read to her, the parts that she had underlined. I know I cannot do it, but it is what I would do if I were closer! I know that she is so deeply blessed by all the efforts that have gone into making her more comfortable! Continuing in prayer for each of you.
Posted by: Betsy | February 03, 2011 at 03:27 PM
All prayers being said. How is Emma doing? I pray very hard for her. When I have seen her sweet face, and then know the fear in her heart, I pray very hard that the Lord will touch her and bring her peace.
Posted by: Maribeth | February 03, 2011 at 03:32 PM
Praying as you requested. Saw a picture of Audrey at the concert..moving and praising and singing along...may you be blessed as well.
Praying in TN
Posted by: Mary Lou | February 03, 2011 at 03:32 PM
Thank you for the updates! How wonderful to hear about all of Joanne's progress! We will continue to lift up Joanne and your family up in prayer.
I will also be praying specifically for Audrey. I have a 12 year old daughter, and I know that she has a tough time emotionally already, I can't imagine her going through something like this as well. I'll be praying for Emma too :)
Posted by: Noelle | February 03, 2011 at 03:43 PM
Still praying.
Toben, just a thought here but, have you guys thought of getting a body diagram and maybe Joanne could point to the area that is causing her discomfort? I just remember when my son was little, he was a VERY late talker. But he would get books out and point to pictures to communicate with me. If Joanne can give a thumbs up, maybe she could point?
Posted by: Angie Platten | February 03, 2011 at 04:04 PM
Wow...your blogs are bring me back to all the rehab from my TBI. I don't remember it well, so I really appreciate your descriptions. Provigil is wonderful! It made a huge difference in clearing away some of the fog. I pray that it works wonders for Joanne. So much of the fatigue from OT and ST is that her brain "muscles" have atrophied as much as her other muscles. You don't think about how effortlessly your brain works to focus your attention until it can't.
We continue to keep your family in our prayers.
Posted by: Jen Abbas de Jong | February 03, 2011 at 04:05 PM
That is awesome, amazing news about Joanne! So exciting! Toben, you are a GREAT dad and GREAT husband. You have so much on your plate, trying to meet the needs of so many. You're doing a great job, and I just thought you should know. Audrey (and you!) will have a great time tonight. From a girl who was 12 once, it's not easy. Thanks for caring about her heart. From a wife, thanks for caring so very much about your wife. Praying for your endurance and that you continue to find joy in all of this!
Posted by: angie | February 03, 2011 at 04:08 PM
Prayers going up for all of your prayer requests and praying for you too:) Have a fun evening! HUGS from Georgia!
Posted by: Theresa Roach | February 03, 2011 at 04:28 PM
Thanks for the ongoing updates, Toben! I'm hooked to see how much progress Joanne is making and the everyday miracles God surprises you all with...praying for you and Audrey to enjoy yourselves tonight, and Audrey and Emma to hang in there the best they can and give themselves some slack - this is a really hard time no matter what age you are! :)
peace to all of you
Posted by: Lisa Chandler | February 03, 2011 at 04:31 PM
Praying for comfort for Joanne. Have a fantastic time at the concert. Toby Mac is a big hit in our house! Speaking from the perspective of a Mum with a 12 year old girl, all I can say is just give them lot's of love...12 is a tumultuous time!! :o)
Posted by: erin | February 03, 2011 at 04:33 PM
Audrey and Toben - Have a blast tonight and enjoy this gift from God that is awesome music.
Emma - Enjoy some time with your family tonight doing something else.
The Feth family is continuing to cover you in many prayers and are honored that continue to update us.
Peace,
Kim Feth
Apex, NC
Posted by: Kim Feth | February 03, 2011 at 05:08 PM
My nephew just went to his concert in San Diego...had a ball. Will be praying that you and Audrey have the time of your lives together! Know how frustrating it is to watch Joanne in discomfort and feel so helpless. Will pray for this time...and that it ends soon...so you can hear her sweet voice again! Blessings!
Posted by: Kristen McWilliams | February 03, 2011 at 05:19 PM
Thanks so much for taking the time to update us all. We are SO appreciative. It is awesome to hear the encouraging news and great to know how to be specific in prayer. Hope you and Audrey have a blessed time this evening. Praying in PA
Posted by: heather | February 03, 2011 at 05:31 PM
I thought I'd add another vote of confidence towards the use of Provigil. Two of my best friends use it (one due to a head injury, the other due to a sleeping disorder) - both of them absolutely sing its praises. I hope that you will see amazing progress through its use as well. Have a blast tonight!
Posted by: Stephanie Riley | February 03, 2011 at 05:47 PM
While I've never met you or Joanne, I now feel you're all old friends! I check in every night so thank you for all the updates :)
We are still praying for you all in Virginia!
Posted by: Catherine | February 03, 2011 at 05:48 PM
Have fun!! My kids LOVE Tobymac too. I hope you have a blast.
praying in TN :)
Posted by: Kelly Snodgrass | February 03, 2011 at 05:50 PM
Dear Toben,
You continue to shock and awe us with your ability to juggle the hospital, time with Joanne and the girls. Keep up the good work and may the Lord give you strength and peace in your heart.
As I have mentioned before, my journey back was lengthy and I know all too well how frustrating it can be for others. For me, it was more EXHAUSTING! I think that would be the best word to describe it. Sitting up, rolling over (when the time came for that) and simply moving was a feat! For a gal like Joanne who was so fit...it will be shocking to her how much your body can forget to do! One of my first exercises was to bring my thumb and index finger together and repeat 3 times. We all celebrated the miracle!
God willing her body will remember in record speed! She will have many mini-miracles and some really big ones but they will all come along by those baby steps! May the Lord make her strong in will and ability. May she move, talk and eat on her own soon. I know she will be giving it her all and I think the smiles are wonderful.
Thanks for the updates...your positive reinforcement is not only good for Joanne but all of us who follow. We KNOW that it will all come to pass! And, as you said so eloquently...patience.
Praying and believing for everyday in every way.
Jerri
Posted by: Jerri G...Catersavvy on Twitter | February 03, 2011 at 05:55 PM
I continue to pray for you all. I'm happy to hear of Joanne's progress. So great on the movement as I remember the Dr. making sure I did not neglect my right side. The exercises will drain the energy but in time we get it back. God's strength is how I walk so I believe and know He can give Joanne some amazing strength! Have a great time Audrey!! Singing praises to the Lord!
Sara from Oklahoma
Posted by: Sara G | February 03, 2011 at 06:10 PM
Prayin' your little girl gets backstage tonight.....somehow.
Just heard about your situation yesterday and began praying today for healing (for Joanne) and for strength/endurance/perseverance/joy for you.
Dave and Jen H
Posted by: Jen | February 03, 2011 at 06:24 PM
Jesus, help Joanne...
Posted by: Linda | February 03, 2011 at 06:34 PM
Reading everyday, praying everyday, and thanking God everyday for the miracles He is doing.
Posted by: Amy | February 03, 2011 at 08:58 PM
So happy to hear you are doing something "normal" with Audrey tonight! Praise God for Joanne's progres. I don't always comment, but I always read your updates and am continuing to pray for all of you.
Posted by: Melana Cummings | February 03, 2011 at 09:29 PM
Thank you, Toben, for continuing to share with us. I am praying for your family daily. Like I said a few weeks ago, I feel like I know you guys. I have shared the situation on my blog as well for people to lift your family to the King. It's amazing seeing the body of Christ come together.
Praying!
Posted by: Heather | February 03, 2011 at 09:30 PM
I want to share my thanks to you for all the updates you give. It is so amazing to see how God is working to bring healing to Joanne and how He is loving and caring for your entire family.
I have read Joanne's blog for a couple of years now and have been a part of her Memory Monday and Spiritual Mothering book study. She has in a way been a mentor to me through her blog. She is just an awesome witness for Christ!
Again thank you for sharing all the updates and prayer needs and I am continually in prayer for her and all of you!
Posted by: Tammy | February 04, 2011 at 01:42 AM
I also have a friend (we are the same age), who had a stroke several months ago. What a devastating blow to person. I pray for your family, and especially Joanne, for strength from the Lord, patience, and healing that only the Lord can accomplish. May you always know that you are blessed no matter what your circumstances.
Posted by: Tony | February 04, 2011 at 04:48 AM
Praying and believing with you that God has a plan. Have faith to persevere. James 1:2-3
Posted by: Mrs. Claus | February 04, 2011 at 07:03 AM
Still praying and believing for total healing. Hope the concert was great :)
Posted by: Cindy Beall | February 04, 2011 at 07:21 AM
I was thinking about and praying for Joanne again this morning as I had an appointment with my neuro. My husband was with me, and I'm so grateful that God sent him to me after my TBI. I was trying to imagine what it would have been like for him to go through my rehab with me, and what would have comforted him then. I was reminded that even now, seven years later, that when I go through crashes (after too much stimulation), I don't remember details, but I remember my emotions...how I felt in that moment: be it afraid, angry, sad, loved, cared for, safe, etc. Even when I can't speak--especially when I can't speak, my mind is still amplifying whatever emotion it's settled on.
When I think about Joanne, and her beautifully decorated room, and the calm presence you (Toben) and her family are providing her, I just know that you are being used to heal her soul.
Posted by: Jen Abbas de Jong | February 04, 2011 at 10:22 AM
I hope you have heard my new favorite song "Dancing in the MInefields" by Andrew Peterson. If not, look it up...very inspirational song about marriage. You are (still) keeping that promise! Not that you would consider anything less than what you are doing now. Praying for your wife daily!
Posted by: Beth Deese | February 04, 2011 at 11:40 AM
Toben, a great friend and business partner told me about your wifes condition. I don't know all the details but I can honestly say that I know EXACTLY how you are feeling. My wife Karen, suffered a stroke a little over 3 years ago. I'll skip the details, but after reading your posts I certainly remember vividly the emotional and spiritual journey my family was on at that time. I prayed quietly. I prayed often. I rarely left my Karens side but then I realized (as well as many told me) that I had two beautiful children that needed a father. A father that could assure them that there was a greater power looking out for their mother and that things would all work according to his plan. I tried to be that father.
On the daughter front: My daughter Linden is 12. I can tell you that what you are experiencing with Audrey is quite normal. Coming unglued is a function of being a 12 year old female. Hormones are raging unfortunately. The only respite from all this that I've found is some quiet conversation about things that she really cares about. In my case (or Lindens actually) its her social world and her phone... She loves her mother dearly but at the time had a hard time communicating the deep seated concern. Talking about normal made the whole situation NORMAL and more accessible.
You have quite a following here. All I can say is I will show my wife and my daughter your post. Each we will pray we'll pray for Joanne.
Day by day friend. Believe.
Posted by: Michael M Stewart | February 04, 2011 at 01:55 PM
Oh, I pray your 12 year old sweet thing had the time of her life!!!! Coninuing to pray, pray, pray!
Posted by: Katie | February 04, 2011 at 02:15 PM