It's Not that Hard (Toben)

I was talking on the phone with a friend this week and after catching him up on what's going on here at eh Heim house, he said, "That has to be so hard for you." We hung up and I had the rest of my drive to Denver to think about what he said. Is my life really that hard? As weird as it may sound, my life just doesn't feel that tough. Here's why:

When you get to live in service to the one you love the most, the benefits seem to outweigh the costs.

At least that's the word that I felt like God was giving me during my time alone. I know it sounds a little Polly Anna but I guess for me it's true. I look at my life in comparison to what Joanne has to deal with and I just can't complain. I get to be with the one I love the most, which is all I asked God for while Joanne was in her coma, so what do I have to complain about? 

Are things frustrating from time to time? Yes. Does it mean I can't always do what I want to do when I want to do it? Yes. Does it mean getting up in the middle of the night so Joanne can use the restroom? Yes. Does it mean that I am constantly in empathetic pain for what she is going through. Yes.

But she is alive! I remember walking the halls of the ICU when Joanne was in her coma and I had really boiled it down to a simple prayer, "God, please let Joanne live. However she comes back to us, I am willing to deal with that, just don't take her away." And God answered that prayer.

Have I told you before about  about my secret prayer while Joanne was in ICU? Along with that last prayer I always added, "And if you could allow her to retain the ability to read I would be deeply thankful." You see, Joanne has always  been a voracious reader of just about anything she could get her hands on: fiction, non-fiction, the Bible, textbooks, cook books, craft books. You name it. Well as I write this Joanne is sitting next to me devouring a book on her Kindle (thanks Sarah). So both of my prayers got answered! How great is that!

I have to give a shout out to the Kindle. It is perfect for someone who is one handed.  It's easy to use and she has the ability to pump up the font so that it's easy to read. Plus she has an almost infinite library of books to choose from. It has been an amazing gift.

Back to my point: is life hard? Compared to how it was 9 months ago, I suppose it is. Is it as hard as Joanne's life? Not even close. She deals with things that are a magnitude of 10 beyond what I have to deal with. 

But Like I said, getting to live in service to the one you love the most ain't too bad a gig. 

Prayer requests:

1. Joanne has been going to the acupuncturist for the last few weeks. It is painful for her. The make it sound like a few little needles will be poked into your skin, but she is having needle pushed 2-3 inches into her body in spots and up to 50 of them. It is uncomfortable at best and often times painful, but we are seeing the beginning signs of results--some movement in her left arm and foot. Praise God for [email protected] And pray for endurance for Joanne as she continues treatment.

2. Praise for God's provision! We have had meals delivered to us twice a week for that last couple of months and people have volunteered to continue to feed us through the end of October! What a treat and a blessing! We are thankful to God for providing!

3. Joanne's spirits could use a boost (no duh). She has a hard life, is almost constantly in some form of pain and is subject to almost weekly trips to the doctor, the orthotics guy, the acupuncturist, to speech therapy, and massage therapy (that last one isn't so tough). She needs a lot of encouragement. If you could pray for the condition of her heart and that God would fill her with hope, that would be awesome.

Toben

Comments

[Betsy]

Continuing in prayer for your precious family.

[Lisa Schubert]

Good Morning guys! Yes I too prayed that she would live! Joanne is one tough cookie and always has been. No matter in what shape... ... the girls need her, you need her, her parents, your parents, her sister, the church, her friends, her followers,me. We all need her, no presure there. When this happened all I could think about was please don't let her die. I cried so much, I held my kids and talked to my husband. I have said it many times this changed me. If anyone can handel this it is Joanne. God did answer prayers and he will continue to do so. Love you guys! Lisa

[Maribeth]

Toben, I've been with you from the start. I recall your days of praying for Joanne to live. I also recall your hope that she would be able to read and when I see that she has finished another book on Facebook, I smile and thank God!
You are all in my prayers.

[A Speckled Trout]

I read that the definition of courage is getting through one more moment. You, Joanne, and your girls have been very courageous indeed.

[From IL]

Be sure too check out all the FREE books for the Kindle (all the ones we should have read, enjoyed and understood in HS but maybe didn't) and the daily deal of the day. Each day one book is on sale for 80% or more off. Today's book is $1.99 and takes place in TN in 1913.

Also, if you are tired, Joanne, but want to at least follow along; don't forget about the voice activated reader!

Toben, I agree, it's all about prespective, isn't it?

How are the girls?

[From IL]

PS. Joanne I see you are reading Janet Evanovich. You should have many books to keep you busy. Number 18 comes out on November 22, 2011. I have it pre ordered to arrive on my Kindle at 12 MIDNIGHT (and ONE second). Enjoy! They are all great. I have a handful of them in book form. I would be happy to send them to you to save you from having to buy them? Let me know! It would be my pleasure. I have 7-11!

[andi]

I'm not sure if you're aware, but different acupuncturists use different size needles. If they are reusable (they get sterilized), they are thicker. You may ask your acupuncturist about thinner, one time use needles to see if he/she thinks it may work as well and cause less pain.

I'm so thrilled you're seeing some changes! And that she has a Kindle to read by. But mostly, I'm thrilled that she has someone so centered to help her through her trials and tribulations.

[Shawn]

Joanne, I have downloaded a really fun game on my kindle that I think you would enjoy. It is called Jigsaw Words and is free on Amazon. It seems to pass the time when I am not reading. I have been following your journey since you have had the stroke. There have been several of my family members that have had strokes in the past. I am just amazed at how far you have come.

Take care
Shawn

[Child of God]

Still riding with you on this journey! Praying and praying for you all for of course for you Joanne.
This is not an easy journey you are on but I still praise God for answering prayer. You will make it Joanne, it is a tough ride, but you can do this. Keep pushing.

Praying and praying,
<><

[Andrea]

Toben,

Let me just say, you are just an amazing husband. As for Joanne, what I truly appreciate seeing in this journey is the fact that your entire family, including Joanne, yourself, Kristen, your in-laws have been transparently honest. Your brutally honest posts about whatever you are feeling including your with doubts, despair and not just pushing those feelings down, but talking about it when many christians just push those down and hide it for they do not want to come across as not trusting God. Anyone who reads this blog knows how strong your faith is, but do you know how enormously helpful the working through the faith part is, the choosing to trust God is to people watching. I sincerely hope your family considers writing several books. Joanne's journey, how to navigate a marriage and parenting during the sickness part, the role of extended family. You teach us all so much by the blog whether you know it or not, just by living your life. Thank you for opening your lives and letting us into this personal journey. You are in our prayers.

[Michal Ann]

So lovely to read your post. Thank you for the update on your wonderful family. From a self-centered point of view, I appreciated mention of massage therapy. I'm a late-life student in massage school and you inspire me to keep on fighting through the intense course load.

All blessings and light on Christ's path for you! Goodness and mercy shall follow you all the days of your life.

[merlin]

needles not nails....that is praise worthy

I've just learned about the welcoming prayer, as crazy as it sounds, try to welcome the pain and see what happens.

[Donna Boschma]

Toben--you warm my heart with your post. So beautiful--so how marriage is designed to be--but often is not. You and Joanne are in it for the long run, and I am so encouraged by both of you and you guys sharing your heart. Real stuff--real life. Thanks so much.

[Suzanne in RI]

Joanne,

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13 NIV

[Amy]

Praying for the pain to ease and for hope to spring up...

[lisa @ the preachers wife]

You have my prayers brother. I think of your bride daily when I'm picking out my ring for the day, when I get my lipstick out of my zippy purse, when I look at my Nancy Drew card she gave me when I completed my manuscript. Joanne is such a gift and rare treasure to this earth. The Lord declared that for Joanne to live is Christ. Indeed it is. Give her a hug from her short friend in Alabama.

[Erin Koss]

Thank you for helping me to remember, "Life is not so hard" this morning. I am praying for Joanna this morning for endurance, hope, faith, and continued improvement.

Kind Regards,

Erin

[Angie]

Great perspective, Toben. I haven't stopped praying for your sweet family from day one. Give that beautiful wife of yours a big hug for me!

[Michelle]

Words beautifully spoken and lives beautifully lived :) holding your family in prayer.

[Amy Lynne]

I will continue to keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers!

[missi]

Hi Joanne and Toben- Thanks for the update and my prayers will be continued. I am so glad to hear, Joanne,that you are able to read. I am a big reader too and it is a joy I would hate to give up. Here are some books you may like: My Bible study group is doing Experiencing God by Henry Blackaby. So, so good. My fiction reads are Pride and Prescience by Carrie Bebris, Murder on the Rocks by Karen MacInerney, and Home to Harmony by Philip Gulley. All good. What are you reading? I am going to pray God does something special for you today to encourage you!!! Take care.

[Chillatlife94]

Toben & J,

A wonderful post sharing your heart with us regarding the heart of a servant. I follow J on twitter and I do rejoice as I see her tweets regarding her appetite to read. I actually offered up a thanksgiving prayer to the Lord for her ability to read after all that she has been through. I will continue to pray for her spirit and healing to be complete. God bless you and your family.

Until HE shouts!

[Anuja]

I am continuing to pray for you both. May you feel His loving presence each day!

[Solacegirl]

You don't know me, but I found a link to Joanne's blog several months ago. I wanted to let you know that I've been praying for you guys. I'll pray again for your family in just a couple of hours as I get ready for bed. Tonight I'll pray for really good rest and a renewed sense of joy upon waking tomorrow. Praise God for all those meals made for you in love. Pretty special. I really like my Kindle too. Mine was stolen a couple of months ago, and sweet woman, who loves hers, heard mine was stolen bought me a new one!)

[Kendra Jarvis]

Joanne-
I know you don't know me but I have followed your story since the seizure. Some days must be difficult for you...but on those days in particular please remember how you have inspired so many. God has used your life and is continuing to use your life to show his love, mercy, compassion, and never-ending grace to others. You have a purpose-you are stil here-God has a plan specifically for you Joanne. Be encouraged!
Blessings,
Kendra

[aTXtumbleweed]

Still Praying in Hurst, TX.

[Karen Booker Schelhaas]

Praying, Toben and Joanne. You're never far from my mind and heart.

[Beth Jones]

Praying and standing with you for complete healing, Joanne....praying, interceding, that you will one day be walking and running with full function in that arm! Thank you, Toben, and your family for these sometimes painful but real, transparent updates so we know HOW to pray! The battle belongs to the Lord and oh, He is mighty! And yes, books are some of the most wonderful gifts in the world! :)

[Jennifer]

Hi Joanne and Toben,

I am a complete stranger to you, but a sister in Christ no less. I read your book, Joanne, "Living Simply" a year or two ago, and then picked it up recently to reread parts of it again. Since having recently started my own blog, I decided I wanted to look you up on yours to see what you have been up to. I was shocked to hear of the tragedy of the stroke, but remarkably encouraged by God's goodness to you in the recovery that you are making as well as the strength of Christ in your marriage, and the blessing of the Body of Christ around you. I will pray for you both and your continued recovery, Joanne, and for your families. God bless you in this time. May He continue to cover you with His peace and encouragement as you lean into Him for everything. He won't let you down!

[Marcy]

Toben -
Your post brought tears to my eyes.
I have been following this blog since January and continue to pray for Joann. Thank you for blessing us by sharing His love and trusting in His strength no matter the circumstances.

I know He has to be so proud of your family. "Well done, good and faithful servant." May God bless you all in unexpected ways this week.

[Carrie]

I check in occasionally, and pray for all of you often. I wanted to leave a quick comment to thank Joanne again for introducing me to Memory Monday. I have not been faithful in posting lately, but I have been memorizing my verses. I often wonder if you will be doing Memory Monday again? It truly has been a blessing to me.

Anyway, I know it is Tuesday, but thought I would let you know that my post is up on my blog http://butgrow.blogspot.com/2011/10/i-really-miss-blogging-really-i-do.html

[Jen Kisrow]

You all have my prayers, you are amazing , and a blessing reading and praying for you have been such a honor!

[Cindy Beall]

I love you guys.

[Lana D]

Still praying in Sugar Land...and loving you guys.

[Ana Paula]

All the best for you guys.
Ana Paula.

[Ginny]

Even though your posts are far apart to us we know you all are so busy...we are thrilled with an snatch of an update...we just want you know we don't forget you all either. Although we have never met and we live in a different state...we are still one. May our God Bless you in a special way today! Ginny and family