Joanne Heim

Resilience (Toben)

I have written here before about D. (Joanne's physical therapist) and the stroke that her sister L. suffered almost a month ago now. This morning D. was here at the house and I was struck by the idea of resilience. With everything she is going through D. shows up three days a week to work with Joanne and I think every time she is here she has a smile on her face and a great attitude. I have never seen her downcast or troubled. So either she has some amazing will power to just buck up and deal with it or there is something else in there that allows her to cope with a crazy-tough situation.

It is amazing to me how people can suffer horribly and somehow it gets to feeling like some kind of normal at some point. I know that with Joanne, as hard as her situation is, there is a normalcy to it. Not a comfortable normalcy in the "everything is just fine the way it is " vein. But a "this is the way it is for now so lets do the best we can with what we got" sort of normalcy. Living in this space is a struggle for all of us I think. It requires that we stay in the moment and not borrow trouble from the future. That's where depression comes from--borrowing trouble from tomorrow or next week or next month.

I was talking to a friend on the phone and he mentioned that the monastics practice this presence-in-the-moment discipline and it got me thinking about important it is to practice that in my own life. I think it's probably important for all of us, no matter what's happening. I will be the first to admit that this is insanely difficult. For me, the morning is the worst time--that 15 minutes between when I wake up and when I get out of bed. My mind races without fail and I have to force my thoughts this way and that way to avoid the darkness. But it is ever present. I know it's worse for Joanne. We have talked about it and she wrestles mightily.

Prayer requests:

1. Resilience! Please pray that for all who suffer and for those who love them that God would provide a deep well of resilience to draw from that is present because our hope is in Him who can do far more to minister to us than we can even conceive.

2. This may seem like a silly one, but Joanne is getting a haircut today.  A good one might put a little spring in her step. So pray for a great cut!

3. Praise the Lord for all the people that have come around Joanne, that minister to her body and spirit. Thank God for the PT, the OT, the massage therapist, the adaptive yoga instructor, the orthodics specialist, the doctors, the nurses, friends and family that are all on her team. It blows me away to see the investment that so many have poured in. For some it may be just a job, but it is clear that for others there is a deeper connection there, and we are blessed by it.

Toben

Bye Bye Walking Boot (Joanne)

A week ago we braved the snow and went to see the orthopedic surgeon for a follow up appointment. At that point I'd been in the heavy walking boot for over a month. I was able to get around pretty well but still not able to go up and down stairs. We took along my old AFO (ankle foot orthotic) to the appointment. It's that big, white  plastic thing that helps keep my foot and ankle in the right position. The doctor said that with some adjustments I could go back to the old AFO and any shoes I can manage to cram it into.

We went to see Jeff at Hangar Orthotics and he was able to reshape the old AFO to fit my new foot position. What a relief because a brand new one would have been super expensive--a minimum of $1000! Exercises are so much easier without the heavy walking boot. Some of my hip and knee pain is subsiding. I still rely heavily on my cane to get around but this feels like a step forward and gives us more to move forward with in physical therapy.

We are going to church this morning after missing for a couple of weeks. It'll be just Toben and I because the girls are with Toben's parents.  Later this afternoon we will have traditional Sunday dinner at my parent's house. Then a long afternoon at home to rest before the week begins.

I'm weary and the road feels long and there doesn't feel like there is an end in sight. Still not sleeping well. I feel like I need and infusion of energy and hope.

Joanne