One of the readers the other day posted a comment about how it might be good for our family to get some counseling. I really appreciated the comment because it affirmed one of the things that has been central to our process for the last year. We have a family counselor, Audrey has her own psychiatrist as do I, the girls both got counseling at school and Emma was involved in a very cool grief workshop for elementary aged student. Whew! We love to get our counseling on!
Today we had a great session with our family therapist. It was one of those rare appointments where he just affirmed a lot of the things we've been thinking and he was especially affirming of Audrey who has been doing some great work lately. In past sessions Audrey has been pretty quiet but today she was just overflowing. It was so cool to see her so engaged. She even asked to talk to the doctor for a few minutes on her own so that she could get some breathing exercises and techniques to combat anxiety attacks. I'm looking at her thinking, "This is a kid we had to DRAG here two months ago." I am so proud of her and thrilled to see her maturing right before our eyes.
Made me realize how much of the battle we have faced as a family over Joanne's stroke is a mental/psychological/relational one. Yes, there are the physical components and limitations for Joanne but so much of the battle for each of us is happening between our ears!
Here is what I am thinking: we need to air out our brains. I almost envision a cool breeze or clear water passing over each of our minds, clearing away the clutter and confusion and just leaving our brains shiny and happy. I am going to think about what it might take for each of us to get our brain cleared up. I know this is a weird visual but that's how my own brain works! I think we are all trapped in our own thought processes and fears and confusions. Let's clear out the noise and rest in light of our refreshed minds!
So here's what I really need to ponder: God promises to renew our minds (Romans 12:2). What does that mean? How do we pursue him so that that renewal can happen? Sounds like what is being promised is a fresh start. I love that idea! And wow, we could use it!
I have a great friend whose wife's family pulled the kids out of school and sailed around the world for two years when she was young. That's what I'm talking about! I envision getting in the car and hitting the road, heading west to San Diego first and then north to the Canadian border. And then maybe east across the top of the country and when we run out of room to the east we can head south to the Carolinas before turning the car back toward the west and home. For some reason I envision this happening in an old VW bus with the windows down and the wind blowing through our hair (for those in my family that have hair--can the wind blow through Audreys mohawk or my shaved head?). Anyhow I am feeling the call of the open road and what that would do for our souls.
Of course the timing is all off--the girls start school in exactly 20 days. But mark my words, before it's all said and done we're gonna take the mother of all roadtrips. Put that one on the bucket list.
Prayer requests:
1. Please pray for the renewal of our minds, in whatever form that takes.
2. I feel thankful for the basics--food, shelter, clothes, etc.. Praise God for the basics!
3. Please pray for courage for Audrey as she is going from a school where her class had 30 kids to a school where the freshman class is about 1000 kids! And she doesn't know a soul. This is definitely a good move for her and she is both thrilled and terrified. Please pray for peace for her. And a good friend right off the bat would be an extra great blessing.
4. Joanne could use a dose of hope--dealing with discouragement these days. Pray that God would provide her a vision of what her life can be, and not get stuck in what is.
Toben
I think a lot of what you all are looking for is a "new" normal...that's a hard one when someone has had something physically damaging happen to them. I do think your family is on the right track as far as having family counseling sessions. And I have to agree that a trip through the upper United States (or Canada) would be an awesome thing for all of you. It would allow you to get to know each other better and figure out what you all wanted the "new" norm be in all your lives. Praying for you all.
Posted by: Patty | August 01, 2012 at 09:22 PM
Our 9 year old has intellectual and physical disabilities. Our family 'normal' is VERY different to 'normal' for the rest of the world. But the one thing that I will not negotiate on is our travelling. I don't care what we have to do to make it work. And sometimes that means make it work physically, emotionally, behaviourally and Spiritually, but we travel. For one month every two years. In NOvember 2012, we will arrive in the USA for a little road trip for 4 weeks. We all look forward to our adventures. New experiences, new scenery, new adventures and all being done with just the four of us.
You are all doing extraordinarily well. Be proud of what you have achieved and keep your eyes on a goal ahead. As striving and working towards a dream (e.g. a roadtrip) makes the victory of achieving it SO much sweeter.
God Bless you all.
Posted by: Michelle From Australia | August 01, 2012 at 11:53 PM
Toben - I've never commented, but have read the blog for a while. We are also in a new phase of life and our oldest daughter will be starting as a freshman this year as well. She has always been in a private Christian school and will be jumping into a huge public high school with no friends. So each time I pray for my sweet girl I will also pray for yours. Too bad Nashville and Denver are so far apart! :)
Posted by: Andrea | August 02, 2012 at 06:27 AM
Toben--If you want to read about a roadtrip with a family check out www.shawnsmucker.com Shawn is a writer who took his wife and 4 kids on a road trip around the U.S. Great adventures, great learning and Shawn is a great storyteller. Maybe it will help you develop that dream a bit...and it's just good reading too.
Posted by: Donna | August 03, 2012 at 04:06 PM
Dear Joanne, something whispered to me to come to this little sweet spot tonight.....may I lift your dear name to our Lord in prayer and ask Him to fill your cup in an overflowing, mighty, hefty way as only He can; may you be blanketed in such a way that you are revived in spirit and renewed in gentle joy. I ask this in Jesus Mighty Name. Amen.
God Bless you Joanne and all of your Little Nest,
Barbra.
Posted by: Barbra | August 05, 2012 at 09:24 PM
I;m learning from you both. What an amazing love you two have.
Posted by: Nike Air Max | August 30, 2012 at 08:51 PM
I think it's a good thing to continue your family counseling. This should help your family to establish a stronger bond, and this should help you out to know each other deeper. By the way, traveling around at the upper States can be a good plan. There's nothing more satisfying than having a vacation with your whole family. :)
Posted by: Ismael Kennedy | December 04, 2012 at 08:02 AM
Families do experience a lot of shortcomings that nobody would expect to happen. Attending a formal talk for the family's problems be healed is indeed helpful. This can make the marriage successful.
Posted by: Gabrielle Lee | December 06, 2012 at 06:09 AM