Is it just me, or do you feel better when all your family is under one roof? I love the fact that Emma and Audrey can go off and have adventures with friends or grandparents, but it just doesn't feel as "right" to me as when they are all here at home. It is when I am at the most peace.
The funny thing is I will be sitting somewhere or getting ready to go to bed and I will feel this need just to see them or give them a hug and I will get up and seek them out and give them a hug or a kiss and tell them that I love them, just for no reason other than that they are mine and I adore them. Then I can go back to whatever it was that I was doing with a greater sense of peace.
I don't want to be a smothering parent. And I would never want to stand between them and an adventure but I have to fight the tendency to keep them close just because it makes me feel better. I want them to have relationships and full lives. Along those lines, I wish we could be the house that all the kids want to hang out at. I love it when the girls have friends over. Of course being in the area of town that we are in their friends have some pretty cool houses with home theaters, TV, and every gaming system, etc. so it's hard to compete with that! But still, I would love to make space for kids to come hang out. We don't even have TV so that could be a challenge!
It is going to be a real shock to the system to have them back at school in the next few weeks. It'll be good to move into that season, but the days will definitely take on a different flavor. I will miss those two! Of course their are adventures to be had in the next couple of weeks so that they can build a few more great memories before this summer passes.
As I am writing this I wonder if some of my thoughts and behaviors stem from the fact that the girls and Joanne were home without me when Jo had her stroke? I wasn't here. Maybe I am thinking that if we are all together then nothing bad can happen. Hmmmm. Of course that is wrong headed thinking and could definitely lead to a little smothering behavior. Gotta work on that...
Toben
I definetely feel better when my 3 kids are all home. It just feels right when we are all together. Actually, when I think about the kids going back to school (in a week!), I feel sad over it. If I were able to homeschool them, I would. Hopefully my life will one day be in the place I can. I do have to fight my feelings, because they easily transfer over to my 7 yr old, who does not like to be gone from the house all day when he is at school.
I love summer! And holidays, and weekends... But alas, life can't be those days everyday, lol.
Posted by: Kristy | August 02, 2012 at 08:16 AM
One thing I found that kids are drawn to for a gathering place, a spot where they can be themselves and speak freely, and tons (literally) of food.
Posted by: Karen | August 02, 2012 at 08:57 AM
Think how exciting it will be when the girls arrive home from school each day! They will be sharing new stories about the crazies of each day. I too prefer my children be at home . . . I suppose we all get a false sense of "if they are home, they are safe".
Great post.
Posted by: JULIE | August 02, 2012 at 09:14 AM
I know just what you mean Toben, which is why I'm feeling conflicted about becoming an "empty-nester" when our 4th and youngest heads off to Whitworth in a month...Even if they're spread all over the house, I treasure the times our kids are all home under one roof. But alas, they're all young adults and that doesn't happen very often. Enjoy your time making memories with Audrey & Emma and give Joanne a hug.
Posted by: Jane @ See Jane Learn | August 02, 2012 at 10:53 AM
Toben, I am the same way. I love having our family under one roof. There is a feeling of safety. It's especially difficult if you've had a scary event happen in your family, which you did. And we did too. But, like you, I have to fight that tendency and let my child have adventures and trust God.
I think it is great that you all are in counseling. Renewing my mind happens when I read God's word. It's usually when I have the "world" talking in my head instead of God's word that I am in need of renewal. That can be like, every day!It's so hard sometimes.
I will be praying for both girls to have a great start to the school year and that Audrey finds a christian friend at school.
Missi
Posted by: Psmith7959 | August 03, 2012 at 06:20 AM
Hi Toben I thought you where a GREAT description of Father God because He LOVES US (His kids) so much BUT doesn't smother us,He sends us a sunset,or a beautiful flower or a cheery word, a love token to let us know how much He does LOVES us.
God continue to Bless You n Your Family with Love Tokens xx xx
Posted by: Ruthy :o) | August 03, 2012 at 06:46 AM
You feelings make sense.
By the way, kids can watch tv anywhere! What makes is a great place to hang out is love and lots of yummy food. :)
Posted by: Kimberly | August 05, 2012 at 07:22 AM
We had 14 kids at our house yesterday at one point in time. We have 4 of our own, 3 we were babysitting and the other 7 were just neighbors who stopped by. Kind of crazy.
Posted by: Jason | August 07, 2012 at 09:29 AM
Toben this may be none of my business, and I mean no disrespect, but it may not hurt either of your girls to get a little bit of counseling to help them process some of these enormous changes that have happened in their lives. Couldn't hurt to try it. Hope everything works out the best for all of you.
Posted by: ghd hair straightener | August 30, 2012 at 11:14 PM