Joanne Heim

Peace Time (Toben)

About dinner time Joanne starts to get excited. Usually its not because of the Ramen or spaghetti or the grilled cheese  and tomato soup that l'm making for dinner. She gets excited because it means her day is wrapping up. After dinner and the girls and I get things cleaned up we head upstairs for Joanne to take her shower. She can do most of it but needs a little help here and there. I think she especially likes getting towel dried after her shower. She gets most of the way there but I always towel dry her back and she LOVES that. I scrub extra hard, just how she likes it. Then it's into PJs and into bed.

Jo reads her Kindle every night for at least an hour. I turn on the heater in our room and pull the covers up for her and she get's nice and toasty. Eventually she is ready to be tucked in and she tells me that I am an excellent tucker-inner. She get s kiss on the forehead and a reminder that she made it though another day. Now it's time to sleep.

A couple of times a week we will be up in the night. Sometimes she get painful cramps in her ankle where she had here surgery an that needs massaging. if she's up and in pain after midnight she can have another dose of her nigh time pain med. Some nights we get the whole way through. But I think I mentioned this before--late at night I am on auto-pilot. Jo usually has to kick me to wake me up and then I do whatever she asks--massage, reposition, more meds...whatever. Then I'm generally back to sleep. Many mornings I'm not even positive that I was up with Jo in the night--feels like a dream. Oh, well. It's strange what you get used to.

The other  nice thing about the evening is that the girls wind down. Audrey is usually working on homework or an art project while watching shows on netflix. Emma is usually glued to her iPad playing games or listening to music. They get cleaned up and get jammies on and then settle in for the night. Some of you will find this odd, but Emma sleeps in our room--she has pretty much constantly since Jo came home from the hospital. It's where she feels safest. She has a whole little nest built that she sleeps in and I have to tell you, I love having her in here. I am sure that at some point she'll simply decide that she would rather sleep in her own room, but I'm not going to push it. My kid's feeling of safety and security come first with me. 

I like trying to stay awake  a little longer than everyone else because the house is at its most peaceful. All my girls are all tuck ed and all is well with the world...until 6 a.m. when we start our day all over again!

Prayer Request:

Thank you Jesus for getting us through another dayl Not sure how you pulled it off but you did. Thanks for that. Look forward to seeing what you will do tomorrow :)

Toben

The Horror of Tofurkey! (Toben)

Audrey is a vegetarian and has been for a couple of years now. She is serious about it and I totally respect that. So Wednesday night before Thanksgiving she determined that she just had to have a Tofurkey (tofu turkey) for Thanksgiving day. She called around, found one, and we went and picked it up. Now to be fair, my mom and Joanne has planned a totally vegetarian Thanksgiving with the exception of the turkey and the gravy. Everything else was meat-free (green-bean casarole, stuffing, mashed potato, sweet potato, ect.. But Audrey was determined! So we went out at 8:00 p.m. on Wednesday night and bought a Tofurkey.

The thing is basically a loaf of tufo with stuffing in the middle. It comes with some sort of sauce, like vegetarian gravy i guess. So we cooked this thing up and sliced it up and I have to say it didn't look to bad, So I had a plate of food and then as promised to Audrey I served myself up a nice thick slice of Tofurkey. If I had been paying attention I would have noticed that Audrey had taken exactly one bite of her Tofurkey. So I take a nice big bite...and almost lost my cookies! It was...awful! 

Have you ever eaten tofu? I have and if it is done right it can be pretty tasty. This was not. It was basically a blob of tofu with a little turkey flavoring added and a little coloring added in to make it look turkey-like. Everything about it was bad. And even Audrey, who really, really wanted to like it thought it was inedible. So into the trash with the Tofurkey and a lesson learned: Tofu--you can dress is up but it'll still always taste like tofu.

Toben

 

Second Dinner (Toben)

Have I talked about this already? About second dinner? It has become a "thing" in our family. We tend to eat a little on the early side most nights because Jo likes to be in bed to read at a fairly early hour. And now that it gets dark so early even more so. Emma, Jo and I are usually ready to eat but Audrey likes to eat late. She takes meds for ADD and they work as an appetite suppressant. So anyhow, by about 8 Audrey is ready for dinner. I on the other hand take a medication that increases appetite. I take it at dinner but it really kicks in at about the same time that Audrey gets hungry. So we eat second dinner. 

Sometimes we just boil some noodles and eat pasta. Sometimes it's grilled cheese and tomato soup. Sometimes we go out. Here is the funny thing: we have found the "bargain menu" at every fast foot place within a five mile radius of our house, which is practically everything. Do you know that you can get plain steak tacos at Chipotle for $1.85? What about the delicious grilled cheese from Steak and Shake for 1.75? Then of course these are the 99 cent menus at just about every other place. I think we usually get away with second dinner for under $5. It's like a matter of pride with us: we got full for under $5!

I also have this weird deal where if I order a Diet Coke I want a LOT of ice. I mean full to the top. I don't want to drink too much right before bed but I love to chew ice. I know, I know, it's bad for my teeth but I know who has the "soft" ice and who doesn't. We tend to go to the soft ice places. Anyhow, you would think that if you tell the dive through attendant that you want "a lot of ice; I mean full to the top" that that would be a pretty easy order to get right. Weird thing is that it almost never happens. Like somehow I am overstating what I really want. Sometimes I just go to 7-11 to get my own Diet Coke with the ice just the way I like it. By the way, if you bring your own Double Big Gulp cup you can get a refill for $1.06. 72 ounces of pure goodness!

Total side note: I can't drink Diet Coke before 11:00 a.m.. I have to have hot drinks (tea or coffee) up until 11 but after that it's Diet Coke all the way.

Recently the kids have gotten into Mexican Coke. It's made with cane suger instead of high fructos corn syrup and tastes so much better than its American counterpart. I justify it by figuring that it has to be more "healthy" than regular Coke. I am probably mislead and losing parenting points all over the place!

Joanne is hanging out with my folks today. They all really enjoy being together. 

Wow, what a random and insubstantial post.

Toben

In Praise of My Girls (Toben)

OK, I am tired of being a downer in this blog I think that most of the time I write with a tinge of anxiety or sadness or hurt. But not in today's blog. Joanne told me this morning that each day she tries to think of a few things she is thankful for. So I am going to follow her lead.

I am thankful for my girls--all three of them. And that's an understatement. I don't know how two parents can create two such different kids, but we have done it! Each is so unique and so wonderful. Audrey is a lot like I was when I was  a kid. She is mildly rebellious--like she is trying to rebel but just can't push the boundaries far enough to lapse into full blown rebellion. She's a pretty straight arrow kid--her worst behavior is when she gets profane, and to her, that's as rebellious as she gets. I think she tries to dress rebelliously too or do her makeup a little extreme but as I was watching the kids get off her bus yesterday I realized that Audrey pretty much dresses like everyone else. Some days she wears PJs to school. And there were at least two other girls that got off the bus yesterday wearing PJs! So I guess that's just a thing that high school kids do sometimes.

I love that she speaks her mind! There is no guess work with her for the most part. I think it would be really hard if she were to close off completely, but for the most part she lets it fly, at least with me, and I can help her work through whatever is bugging her. And she is brave! She went from home school and a class of two students, to Christian school with a class of thirty, to high school with a class of 1000--the largest high school in the state of Colorado. And she barely freaked out. There was some minor freaking but she marched in there and made a place for herself. I am so proud of her and feel lucky to be her dad.

Emma is equally amazing in her own way. I have never met a kid more diligent. If she has something to do, she gives it her full attention and won't let go until she is finished. She had a major project for school this week that probably took her 20 hours to complete. But she kept her head down, and put in the time every day to make sure that it would be done.

She is also a pretty easy going kid and takes life as it comes. Sometimes when she is really pushed she will have a flash of anger, but it is so rare that when it happens it's worth paying attention to because there isa good reason for it. She's not one to fly off the handle. When she does get angry or upset I go into hyper-observant mode because I really want to understand what is upsetting her--it's usually something that I can walk through with her and get her back on an even keel. I hurt for Emma because I think she still really greives Joanne's stroke (like we all do) but she defintely looks at the bright side when it would be so easy to go to a very dark place. I also love that she has a sweet spirit. I call her "happy heart" becasue that;s just the way she is.

I was texting with Joanne yesterday and told her that even though she thinks she needs me more than I need her, that she is totally wrong. I would be lost without Joanne. She has a hard life--I will not chronicle that here because this is supposed to be a happy blog, but she gets up every day and faces what needs to be faced. She is always so appreciative of the help she gets. Her most frequent words to me are , "I love you," and "thank you." Every little thing I do for her she acknowledges and thanks me for. Even after almost two years I have never felt taken for granted by her. That is a testament to her character. 

And what a sense of humor that girl has! We sit in car line waiting to pick Emma up from school for about 20 minutes each afternoon and I think we spend most fo the time laughing. And it's usually at other's expense. We listen to NPR and the particular show that they play during our wait usually features a strange musical group from somewhere in the world. They play some bizarre stuff, and we mock it to no end. Joanne's sense of humor is very dry, very dead-pan, but she is quick and spot on. I love laughing with her. 

Most of all I love it when I see her smile. It fills me with joy. She has a lot not to smile about and she could very easily have become very bitter. She has dark moments, but she survives them and gets through to another day. 

Can you tell I love me girls? They are the light of my life and I could be happy until the day I die to love them, serve them, encourage them, instruct them and have fun with them. 

I guess that's about it.

Prayer request:

Please praise God with me for the blessing that Joanne, Emma and Audrey are to my life. I love the cheesy line for the movie Jerry McGuire--they complete me and I would be lost without them.

Toben

Pumpkins for Squirrels (Toben)

We had a pumpkin laying around, leftover from Halloween. It wasn't carved or anything and it jsut sat by itself in the living room, adding a limited amount of decorative fall flair. Then it started to stink. So Audrey took it out back, broke it into pieces and assured me that the aquirrels would make short work of it. I was skeptical. Why would a squirrel eat a pumpkin? But Audrey couldn't have been more right. The squirrels are going nuts! We have identified and named at least three of the little critters that show up like clockwork every morning to feast on pumpkin. And they do it all day! I guess they are packing it on for the winter but they are big eaters. I would say that they are half-way through the 8-10 pound pumpkin that Audrey put out there.

For the cats it's a combination of pure entertainment and torture. The pumkin is literally a foot from the glass back patio door and Joey, our boy cat, will spend hours, hunkered down, watching the squirrels come and go. Occassionally he bats at the glass and at least one time he has made a run for them only to careen head-on into the door. Pretty funny to watch. The squirrels must know he is there, but they show no fear whatsoever. The thrill of available pumpkin overcomes the fear of the cat.

Jo and I are in for a normal day today. I work from home on Tuesday's so we get to share each others company. I am working on an email campaign for December and am enjoying the creative process so much. Writing is a lot of hard work, but it is so rewarding. I love to watch the word count climb on my Word documents as the thoughts and concepts and quotes, and dreams  and stories all come together in one cohesive piece. There is nothing I would rather be doing than writing for a living. Pretty sweet!

Joanne is deep in a book. Her Kindle has been a God-send. She struggles with regular books as they can be hard to read with just one hand. But the Kindle is made for her! She reads almost a book every day or two. I so clearly remember that my prayer for Joanne when she was in her coma was that she would not die and that she would retain the ability to read. Both came true! Joanne has talked many times about how desperate her situation would be if it weren't for the ability to read. To that was a good prayer I prayed. Of course Joanne gives me a hard time that I didn't ask for more when I was praying for her during her coma. She says, "Both the prayers you prayed came true. You should have asked for more!" Of course those were the only two prayers I thought to pray, so be it.

Do you miss your kids while they are at school? When I get home from dropping Emma off the house always seems so quiet and empty. I like it so much better when they are here. Last week I was spoiled becasue Audrey was home for the week on fall break. This week we are back in the swing of things. I always look forward to 3:30 when all my little chicks are back in the roost.

We are purging the house. Joanne was a meticulous housekeeper and every thing was kept tidy and put away. But for the last almost two years "stuff" has been piling up. So we are slowly going through the house putting into boxes the stuff we don't really need. Some of it will go up on Craig's List, some to storage and some to Goodwill or Savers. We were able to give a couple of boxes of children's books to the Denver Christian libarary and the librarian over there was pretty excited about that. My folks are coming up again today and we will continue to chip away.

I guess that's about it.

Prayer requests:

1. It is very hard for Joanne that she can't help clean/pack things up. Please pray for peace for her as those of us that are able seek to put the house in order. Everything in our house has a stroy behind it, some that only Joanne knows. So to us it may look like and antique photo gathering dust, but to Joanne it is something that means so much more. Please pray for her patience and peace.

2. Thank God for his provision. I won't go into detail here, but over the last two years he has provided for our family faithfully and in surprising ways. Way to go God!

3. I am especially thankful today for Joanne's faithful frineds. She has a couple that have really stuck by her through all the ups and downs (and more downs) of the last 20 months. Thanks God for them!

Toben