Joanne Heim

Art Class! (Toben)

Joanne and I are sitting here in watercolor class. The instructor (Patrice) is taking the class through the basics, from paper to brushes to paint and palettes. Joanne is soaking it all in. I think this is going to be an amazing experience for Joanne! She is definitely going to need someone here with her for class--lots of two-handed activity. I should be able to come with her to most of her classes--they have great wi-fi so I can stay up on work while she paints and I can help out when she needs an extra hand.

So glad she's doing this!

Toben

 

The Contract! (Toben)

I'm nervous to write this post because I don't want to jinx it, but it looks like our house has sold. We went through the whole process of offers and counter offers and finally arrived at a mutual agreement with a family in Denver. So the final contract has yet to be signed but the offer from both parties has already been signed, sealed and delivered. How cool is that!? 

We had a ton of interest in the house over this week. I think in four days we had a total of about 20 showings and two offers. The first offer was a joke and came from a guy who was probably just looking to flip the house (fix it up and re-sell it). But the second offer came from a family that just loved with the house. I can't tell you how good that makes me feel! I really wanted a family to move in there that would love the house the way we have loved it.

We are closing in mid-March. I guess the average time to closing is between 30-45 days but it still seems like a long time to me. But that's that not that big a deal. We are still enjoying living with my parents so being her another couple of months is just fine with me.

It certainly has been a strange week emotionally. We first started talking about selling the house last summer. Then we finally decided that we needed to make that move in early Fall. Then started the process of getting the house ready to sell. During that time we found a great realtor (a friend of a friend) who we really felt comfortable with and who loved the house. Then came moving out our stuff (except for some of our furniture) then came the staging and the cleaning. Then the sign went in the yard and Wham! Bam! The house is under contract. It feels like we have cleared a major milestone. Of course the deals not done until it's done, but we made a huge step this weekend. We loved that house and had a lot of good times there, but we have also had the worst times of our lives there. Ready for a new start.

I know I have mentioned this before but we wouldn't have been able to sell the house without help from my folks. They gave us a great, comfortable place to stay and the packed and cleaned the house with very little involvement from me--they just grabbed ahold of the project and got 'er done. I bet they invested over 100 hours when it was all said and done. I owe them big time!

So now we jsut hang out and wait for closing. After that, we'll start the process of finding a new place to live. We are going to rent for some time before we'll be in a position to buy another house. The great thing is that my folks are in no hurry to kick us out so we can rally take the time to find a place that's perfect for us.

Joanne starts watercolor classes on Tuesday! I am so excited for her. She is going to Bemis Art School in downtown Colorado Springs. I actually took art classes there when I was a kid so it is pretty cool that she is headed back there for a class. I think she is going to be amazing. I have seen her play with some other water color painting in the past and she is pretty darn good. With a little training she is going to be awesome but the main thing is I think she is going to have a blast. I will try to figure out how to post photos on the blog and will keep you up to date on her work. 

We had a blast at Emma's birthday dinner. We went to Fargo's for pizza. We have been going there since I was just a kid so it was a trip down memory lane to be there again. Emma had her new best friend Maddie with her and Bethany and Oliver joined Jo and I, Audrey and mom and dad. The food was really good and they salad bar is just epic. I can't remember the last time I had salad bar. How weird. Seems like everyone used to have a salad bar but now they are harder to find. And the best part about a good salad bar? Bacon bits. Pizza was really good too. Anyhow, we had a blast and Emma said it was a 1015 on a scale of 1-10. Not bad. 

Audrey dyed her hair white last night. I tell you what, that kid does more weird stuff to her hair but she always ends up looking great! I was nervous to let he dye her own hair. We ahve had it dyed professionally in the past and I think one time Joanne dyed it pink, but Audrey has never dyed it herself. But you know what? She did a good job and she looks just fantastic. She is such a beautiful girl that it is hard for her to mess up her looks. I love her sense of adventure when it comes to her appearance. And did a mention that she added a couple of piercings over the last couple of months? She got her eyebrow pierced a while back and her lip done last weekend. I think she's probably done with piercing for a while. She is still stretching her ears but very slowly so as not to tear them. 

I tell you what--I was so much like Audrey when I was a kid. The only difference is that I did my own piercings (ears only). I did get my eyebrow done professionally though. I guess like father, like daughter.  To be honest I could really give a rip about how she looks as long as her heart is in the right place. She isn't drinking, smoking, doing drugs or hanging out with bad boys (or even good boys for that matter) and no self injury. So if she wants to express herself through her looks, I'm cool with that. 

OK, I suppose I should wrap up.

Prayer request:

Only one--Praise for the contract on our house!!!

Toben

The House (Toben)

Our house in Denver went on the market today. And not a day too soon if you ask me. We have been preparing to put it on the market for months. It has been an incredible amount of work, much of it done by my mom and dad who attacked the project with pitbull ferocity. We have moved everything out and into storage except for the furniture which we left in there to "stage" the house. Apparently people want to see a house with furniture in it because it gives them a better idea of what it will look like with their stuff in it. Who knew! 

Everyone in the family is dealing with this process differently. Joanne is miserable. This was her nest and she has been plucked out of it--it was full of all her favorite things and now all that is in boxes. I feel terrible for her and can't even really relate to how tough this must be. But I know it's gut-wrenching for her.  Audrey is glad to be making a clean break. I think the image of finding her mom on the basement floor is something she hasn't been able to shake. Emma is pretty laid back and is just glad to be living someplace that has cable TV. Me? I am just so stoked to have a five minute commute that I can hardly stand it. I can't believe that I used to drive an hour each way to get to work. Now I drive five minutes. Yippee!

Talked to the realtor today and she has already gotten a couple of calls on the house. Cool! Let's get that baby sold!

Prayer Requests:

1. Please pray for peace for Joanne. She is struggling with the loss of the house.

2. Praise! Emma LOVES her new school! I mean LOVES it!

3. Please pray that I will be the parent Audrey needs me to be as we navigate through this tough time.

Toben

 

2013: Alignment (Joanne)

As I have thought about this upcoming year, the word that keeps coming to mind is alignment. I would really like my head and my heart to get lined up and in sync. I want to live and make decisions and live according to the truth I know in my head rather then my feelings at the moment. I want to walk by faith, not by feelings.

Yes, my feelings are real, valid and important but they are also fickle and ever changing. In short, they aren't very relaiable or steady. So what feels good or right one day doesn't feel good or right a week later. I need some unchanging, solid stuff to hang on to. So I am praying that God takes the truth in my head based on his word and brings it down about 18 inches to effect change in my heart. 

To help with that I am going to approach scrpture memory a bit differently this year. I will be doing the SSMT. Holly and I are going to be memory partners although I don't think we'll be going to Houston in a year. The idea of traveling scares me and I am not up for it especially without Toben. Here's how I'm approaching scripture memory: when I feel _________ then a verse I think might help me take those thoughts captive and bring my feelings into line with the truth. So my first one is this: When I feel overwhelmed or attacked and want to respond childishly then 1 John 4:19 in the Message--I, though, am going to love--love and be loved.

I am thinking I will make two-sided flashcards on index cards for this so that I can find how I am feeling easily and then flip the card over to the truth. I do have a few ideas for future verses and feelings--when I feel hopeless, sad, tired, like God has forgotten me , angry, betrayed, helpless, powerless, discouraged, lonely, afraid, like giving up.

I'd also like 2013 to be a year of acceptance. I want it to be a year of accepting my new reality, of being more comfortable with it, of being thankful for it even. That seems almost impossible to me, but then I remember the truth. That nothing is impossible with God, that nothing is too hard for him. While there is much that is too hard and impossible for me I can do all things through Christ in me. See, there's another card for me this year!

Joanne

P.S. I have really missed blogging! And thanks to my bossy friend Susan--I am journaling daily once again. As I journal I am hoping some of what I write down can become blog posts for Toben to type for me.

P.P.S. As always I am thinkful and overwhelmed by your constant and faithful prayers for me and my family.

Tears (Toben)

As a parent, does anything break your heart more than the genuine and legitimate tears of your child? I tell you what, when one of my girls cries, and has a good reason to do so, it eats me up. This morning Emma was in tears because she feels overwhelmed in her science class. that are studying things that she never covered in her last school and she feels utterly lost. Emma is such a diligent student that to feel like she is behind is crushing for her. 

So we sprung into action: a quick note to her science teacher asking for extra help adn a request for a tutor was all it took to get her calmed down enough to head out to school. She isn't feeling well on top of that so I am picking her up after her first couple of classes because she has tests and projects in them. I'll bring her home, tuck her in bed with a cup of tea (or a Sprite) and help her recuperate both physically and mentally. Poor kid!

Dad is continuing his drive home from Spokane today. The weather is bitter cold and the roads weren't great for the his drive yesterday. Hoping things are a little better going for him today. And then Bethany flies in this later late afternoon. Mom is driving to Denver to pick her up. I am not completely comfortable with mom driving in the cold and snow and might get a little pushy about allowing me to drive her up. We'll see what happens during the day. 

Yesterday was the laziest day we have had in a long time. I did one useful thing and that was it. My dad has a hunting knife that he has had since he was a kid. Audrey and I did a   little research on the knife and it turns out that it is about 100 yeas old and is somewhat valuable. My dad had been using to cut weeds out of the lawn for the last 40 years! So I took his old knife to my local knife store and asked them to fix it up a bit. They did a great job cleaning and sharpening it and I brought it home and placed it on his desk for him to find when he returns tonight. He is going to have to find a new weed-cutting knife!

Other then that, we watched football and movies yesterday. I got dressed but everyone else was in PJs. I think Audrey even wore PJ's to the mall when I went out to get the knife sharpened. I think I might have worn my PJs too but it just felt a little too weird. Not that I wear strange PJs or anything...

We had a lovely fire and Joanne sat right in front of it and read much of the day. Very relaxing!

Prayer requests:

1. Please pray for a safe return home for Bethany and my dad.

2. Please pray that Emma would get caught up at school and that whe would feel confident in her studies.

Toben

Strokeaversary #2 (Toben)

Today marks the second anniversary of Joanne's stroke. Can it really be two years? It doesn't feel like it. In a lot of ways it feels like it just happened. Starting this morning I have been having flashbacks. I looked at my watch at 8:45 and instantly realized that that is when Audrey called me in a panic that something was wrong with mom. 9:15 at the emergency room. 10:00 into radiology, and so on. I remember every detail of that day. It was probably the longest day of my life. The hours spent not knowing if she would live or die were the hardest, most surreal hours of my life. I remember thinking, "This isn't really happening." But it was.

I imagine this whole weekend will be a little difficult because in the immediate days after the stroke the family had to make the toughest decisions any of us are likely to have to make. We literally held Joanne's life in out hands and we had to make decisions for which no outcome was guaranteed. Dark days. 

I also remember friends and family. Joanne's folk, my folks, Wade and Kristen and Jamie and Kristin. They were all there. I remember how comforting it was to have them around and how each helped me make it through.

One story I'm not sure I've told. If you know Kristin Franklin then you will get this. When Joanne got moved to ICU her phone and my phone were ringing off the hook and literally dozens of text messages were coming through as word spread through facebook and twitter about what had happened. Kristin said, "Give me those phones. You don't need to be worrying about this." So I turned over the phone and she took care of it. In coming days she would prove to be a great security guard, keeping people from wanderign back to Joanne's room--the ICU was pretty easy to access. She would grab people as they got off the elevator and would ask them, "Who are you here to see?" If they sai,"Joanne" she would kindly inform them that Joanne wasn't accepting visitors. Everyone else was allowed to pass. Kristin rocks! 

And Jaime took me for a lot of walk through the hospital. He would sense the pressure and emotion building and would say, "Let's take a walk." And we would wander around the hospital. He would buy me a Diet Coke. We would chat about whatever and then he would return me to the waiting room or two Joanne's room with a little bit of sanity restored. I'll always appreciate that about those two. They have truly stuck with us. 

Of course the family has been amazing too. As luck would have it, my computer died a couple of days after Joanne went into ICU. Wade hooked me up with a new MacBook, the one I am writing this post on. In fact I wrote perhaps the most important blog on this computer after Wade gifted it to me. It was one of the first posts about the stroke and over 60,000 people read that post. And since then we have had over 2.5 million visits to the blog. And it's all thanks to Wade taking care of my technological needs. Thanks again Wade!

And Kristen (Joanne's sister) was in charge of "mood." She brought in flowers and art and music to and sat holding Joanne's hand while Joanne was in a coma and couldn't really appreciate it all. But I appreciated it, and I know everyone else did too. It gave some tranquility and dignity to a place that is by its very nature short on both. 

I guess you never really know how strong a bond is until it's tested and man, has Joanne's stroke tested bonds! But both our families have stepped up in major ways to help us make it through to this point. I am so thankful for thier love and support. 

And to all of you who have read the blog and faithfully prayed for our family, I am so thankful for you. You are the reason I write these posts in the first place. I know that if I put something on line that it will get prayed for. That's more than enough reason to post. I thank god for the army of prayer warriors who have come along side us. There have been a number of you have have commented and let me know ou were praying, and countless others that I know are praying even though they don't comment. And then there is Shanna, who comes to the house to pray with Joanne every week. Yet another faithful friend who has stuck like glue to Joanne since her stroke. 

So for the rest of the day and through this weekend I am going to try not to focus on how tough things are, how much hurt there is at all that has been lost, but I am going ot try to turn my thoughts to what I am thankful for. Maybe I'll post a list tomorrow or Sunday.

Do you remember where you were when you heard about Joanne's stroke?

Toben

 

 

School Update (Toben)

I have no idea what happened but Audrey had a GREAT DAY at school! She came home higher than a kite. Apparently she really connected with a couple of teachers. Thank you Jesus!

Back to School (Toben)

Both Audrey and Emma returned to school this week to very mixed results.

Emma is doing great! She jumped right in and is enjoying her classes and has already made two friends. One of the girls she has gotten to know is the daughter of Joanne's best friend from ninth grade. What a small world deal that is! Also, based on some testing and on her transcripts Emma has been placed in advanced Math and English. It'll be so good for her to be challenged. I think she spent a little time coasting at Denver Christian because she is such a smart kid with a solid work ethic. So far everything looks good for Emma in terms of her integration and success at her new middle school. She even mastered getting her locker open which was a real concern for her.

Audrey is a little bit miserable. Granted, she has only had one day of school, but she "hates" it. It needs to be said that Audrey has "hated" every school she has attended so this is nothing new. I am very hopeful that she will make a friend or two. I think that would really change the picture for her. She had her best friend from Creek come down to the Springs last weekend which was a good deal, but it turns out that that friend is going to move to Tennessee so Audrey is bummed about that.

I just hurt for Audrey because she has a hard life. I think some kids that act like Audrey need a good smack in the head, but when I look at Audrey's reality and it is pretty tough. She has lost a connection with her mom in a lot of ways, she had to move house, move schools, lose touch with friends. And she is a 14 year old girl, which I am convinced has to be the most difficult thing to be. For whatever reason, I feel an enormous amount of compassion and empathy toward her. I feel like if just one thing could go really right for her it would begin to change everything. 

I tried to brighten her day this past weekend by taking her to get her eyebrow pierced. She has wanted a new piercing for a long time and we worked together to find the best tattoo shop in town and on Saturday we went in and got it done. The guy who does their piercing is a real pro. She has had a number of piercing from a guy in Denver who we really liked but this guy down her is every bit as good in my estimation. The piercing looks so good on her. Now she is trying to figure out what she wants done next--which I have told her will be a long ways off! She even has plan for her first tattoo; full back angel wings! I have tried to explain to her how long and how many sittings it'll take to get that done but she is determined. Of course she won't get a tattoo until after she turns 18 and I will get a vote on what she gets and who does the work. 

Joanne is hanging in there. As we come up on the second anniversary of her stroke I think she is struggling because after all this time she still faces a lot of challenges that she thought would be behind her. I try to boost her spirits. For example, she loves the carrot cake at the neighborhood deli so today she will have that for lunch. It's nutritious because it has carrots, right? She is still spending a lot of time reading each day, and since my folks have TV she has enjoyed watching "What not to Wear" on TLC. Her friend Kristin is coming to take her out for coffee on Friday which will be a great treat. But even much more so than Audrey, Joanne has a tough go of it. She is in constant pain and has so much trouble getting around. Wish I could fix it for her! 

Prayer Requests:

1. Praise for Emma's experience at school!!!

2. Please pray that Audrey would make a friend or two. That could be a game changer for her. And is you could also just pray that a good thing would happen for her that would be great.

3. Please pray for peace for Joanne. Her daily life is a struggle and she gets so down about it. Pray for a boost in her spirits.

Toben

Back At It (Toben)

Well, we are slowly getting back at it after the holidays. We are getting ready for the girls to head back to school on Monday.  I think Emma is reasonably ready to go but Audrey is pretty distressed. I would have thought it would have been the other way around. Emma is going from a class of 30 to a class of 300 whereas Audrey is going from a class of 1000 to a class of 300. I think what is really hard on Audrey is that she is leaving her friends. However, I have let her know that her friends are welcome to come to the Springs any time they want--I'll even drive both ways if it keeps her happy and her friendships connected. Of course shes texting and talking to her friends all the time so at least technology is helping.

Now that we are in the Springs I am able to go into the office every day! From my parent's house it takes me exactly 5 minutes to get to the office. I know that might seem like a drag to some people, but it is a real bonus for me. I love the office and the people that work there. I get to work with such a great team and it is fun to feel like I am contributing. It is incredible to not have a one hour commute on either side of my work day. Good stuff!

My dad and I have been able to take a couple of hikes over the break. The most memorable one was a night hike up Cutler Mountain. The moon was full and we went with the Colorado Mountain Club. It gave us great views of the city and the moon was amazing.  The hike was only about 3 miles round trip but it was also about 13 degrees out! My brother-in-law Wade gave me some great outerwear for Christmas so I had totally great clothes to wear and my boots that my dad got for me worked great. It was fun to hike with some new people--there were definitely a few "characters" but it kept things interesting.

Yesterday Emma came with us on a hike. For Christmas my dad completely outfitted Emma for hiking and Joanne and I had gotten her some hiking boots. She has a great kids pack, a water bottle, a pocket knife (her favorite gift of all), a fleece hat and hoodie, and some hiking socks. She is ready to go. She came on a 2 mile walk with us yesterday at Ute Valley Park, which is just five miles away, and she did great. Again it was very cold out but Emma was a trooper--no complaining and she really keeps up a pretty good pace. Fun to hike with her and dad.

Joanne is settling in to life at my parents house. She, as well as the girls, are thrilled to have access to TV. We haven't had TV for about 3 years so they have a lot of catching up to do. Joanne's favorite is "What Not To Wear." Emma is glued to Animal Planet. I have to admit that I am stoked to be in front of the TV for bowl season. I have always really loved college football so I am basking in the opportunity to watch.

We are eating well too! When we were in Denver I had a very limited menu of things I could prepare for the family. We ate a lot of pasta, ramen, eggs, and other stuff that was easy to put together. Here we are getting home cooked meals every night. I jumped in this week and volunteered to cook dinner. I made homemade meatballs and a great sauce. Unfortunatly my meatballs ran over the edge of the pan and trashed the oven and made the whole house fill up with smoke. I was trying to do something helpful and ended up just making a mess! But the meal was tasty.

We are almost moved out of our house. We probably have just a half dozen boxes to move into storage and a few pieces of furniture to get loaded out. Then my mom and I will "stage" the house for showing. Praying that the house sells quickly!

I guess that's about it.

Prayer requests:

1. Please pray that we can finish getting the house in order and that it will show well and sell quickly.

2. Please pray that the girls would have a good first week of school. Maybe they will each find a friend. That would be huge!

3. I am so thankful for a good job. I know a lot of people who have been out of work; some of them for a long time. So I feel blessed that I am able to make a living.

Toben