Joanne Heim

A new thing on Sundays

A few weeks ago Toben and I had lunch with another couple--their kids go to school with our kids, their daughter is in my Brownie troop, he's a professor at Denver Seminary. In the course of our conversation, we decided to have lunch together every Sunday after church to talk theology with our kids.

(He has his doctorate in theology from Oxford. How cool is that?)

Each week we give our kids a topic and they each come prepared with three or four questions. We have lunch, the kids play, and we spend about an hour talking about their questions over dessert. We're done by three o'clock and still have a long afternoon of rest at home.

So far, we've asked questions about God, the Bible, Jesus, and humanity. Tomorrow, we're talking about the Holy Spirit and salvation.

I've been amazed at the questions our kids have asked. And we've had some incredible conversations as a result. 

We ask all the kids what they think in response to their own questions, letting them answer each other's questions, ask more questions that relate. The adults weigh in and even ask our own questions about the topic. 

It doesn't feel like sitting the kids down and preaching to them. It feels like talking about God and our questions and how those things affect our everyday lives--together.

Yes, we want to talk to our kids all the time about spiritual things--as we sit down to dinner, as we drive in the car, as we walk through the neighborhood. But that's sometimes easier wished for than actually lived out. (Just like anything else, sometimes it takes a specific plan to put something into practice!)

It's been so helpful to have a specific time and a specific topic to talk about. And then from that set time and topic, other conversations spill out into our week.

Sound interesting?

Here's what I'd suggest if you want to do something similar. 

• Pick one meal a week and set it aside for this specific purpose. Make dessert!
• Pick a topic--in advance--and actually write down the things you want to talk about.
• Grab a Bible; encourage your kids to grab theirs too.
• Remember it's okay to say "I don't know." Look up the answers together.
• Ask your own questions too.
• Think about including another family.

Do you do something similar already? Leave a comment and share with the rest of us!

Emma on the Sabbath

Last night Emma said her prayers with Toben:

"Dear Jesus, Thank you that we can take a break from having fun so we can worship you. Amen."

Toben came to tell me while I was getting ready for bed. We laughed until we couldn't breathe. Clearly, we need to have another conversation or two with her!

Ceasing on the Sabbath

I don't know why, but I think it's easier to start with the "do nots" when it comes to understanding the Sabbath. Just some weird way I'm wired, I suppose. I want a clear list of what I can't and should do--and that way I can check off all the little boxes and we'll all be just fine.

But the Sabbath isn't really like that, I'm learning. So much of it is about motive. What honors the Sabbath for you may not honor the Sabbath for me. Which means it's something we each have to discover and pray and seek God's guidance in for ourselves.

And isn't that the point, really?

I mentioned Lynne Baab's book, Keeping the Sabbath, a couple of weeks ago. One of the things I appreciated was questions to help wrestle through what it means to keep the Sabbath for me and my family.

She had something to say that makes sense to me about figuring out the "ceasing" part first:

Remember, we are striving to obey the spirit of the sabbath law. We are not trying to make rules or create new burdens. We are ceasing from some activities to make space for resting in God and enjoying the gifts he's given us.

I need to cease from some things in order to make space for what I will do on the Sabbath. If I add without subtracting first, then it's all too easy to get overwhelmed because the day is just too full. I have to clean house, as it were, before I bring in something new. Otherwise it's just clutter.

Here are just a couple of the questions she asks in her chapter, "A Day Without a 'To Do' List":

What do you need to cease from?

What aspect of your life might be losing its value because of overuse?

Your answers to those questions will probably be different than mine. But as I think about it, I need to cease from work, from chores, from my never-ending to do list. I need to cease from the hustle and bustle of the outside world--shopping, running errands. I need to cease from the noise of everyday life.

The second question is a little harder for me. When I think of overuse, I think of the computer. I love my MacBook, but I spend LOTS of time on it--particularly when I'm in the middle of a writing project. Even just reading blogs, surfing the net, and responding to email takes up big chunks of my day.

I am a reader--and always have been. And when I'm on a reading tear, the world could stop and I wouldn't notice! I do read lots of nonfiction, but when I read for fun, I read for fun. Nothing too heady, nothing on Oprah's book club, just total escape into the world of spies and adventure. 

I say a reading tear, because I can easily ignore my family for hours on end and escape to the underwater world of Dirk Pitt and Clive Cussler novels. I overdo it easily.

For my children, overuse makes me think of the television, the computer. It's changing now that school has begun (we do not turn the television on Monday-Thursday), but as I look back on the summer, it seemed that the TV was on and someone was playing on Webkinz or Littlest Pet Shop or American Girl or Build a Bear every moment.

As I've thought about my answers to those questions, a couple of things have come out of it:

• No computer for me or the girls on Sundays.
• No television (with the exception of watching movie as a family) on Sundays.
• No homework for the girls on Sundays.
• No chores on Sundays.
• No shopping or errands on Sundays.
• No fiction for me on Sundays.
• Nothing on Sundays that doesn't include the whole family--that means an automatic "no" to any birthday parties on a Sunday afternoon, Girl Scout activities, or playdates.

That's an awful lot of NO as I look at the list. But the cool thing is that some of it feels like a relief--no grocery shopping, no cleaning the house, no laundry! 

But like Baab said in her book, all those "no"s create space for the things we will do on Sundays.

This is getting entirely too long and I have to go take Audrey to her final vision therapy evaluation, so more on the YES stuff soon! You deserve a cookie if you've read through this whole thing--and maybe a cup of tea to go with it. Go treat yourself!

Anticipating Sabbath

It's still raining here--I just love it! We've had a wonderful indoor day. Breakfast all together, followed by the me and the girls hanging out in the basement being crafty and sewing.

But I'm really looking forward to tomorrow's Sabbath.

We've been gone the past two Sundays on vacation, and I'm excited to go to church tomorrow and do our Sabbath routine.

For me, the idea of Sabbath and service are closely linked. And as I've thought about what we could do to serve as a family, one of the things that has come up is our Compassion children. We have four Compassion daughters--two for each girl, sharing birthday months and years with Audrey and Emma. 

I must confess that we've been terrible about writing to them.

So as I've thought about new ways we could serve, God kept bringing our girls to mind. That we have children to serve--and we could serve them much better than we do. It's not time to add something new until we're doing what we're already doing well.

So on Sundays, we come home and have Sunday dinner, then we sit down and write to our girls--one each week, so they each receive a letter each month. We've been in the routine since school got out and it's working really well.

We read any updates from the girl whose week it is, write a letter together, and Audrey and Emma usually draw pictures and write little notes. We dig through the sticker drawer and look for fun things to send along with the letters. Audrey and Emma love it. 

And while we pray for Lucia and Denys, for Gita and Josiane at bedtime most nights, I'd like to start praying more specifically for them as a family on Sunday afternoons.

Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:

to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke,

to set the oppressed free and break every yoke?

Is it not to share your food with the hungry 

and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter--

when you see the naked, to clothe him,

and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?

Then your light will break forth like the dawn,

and your healing will quickly appear;

then your righteousness will go before you,

and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.

Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;

you will cry for help, and he will say:

Here am I...

"If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath

and from doing as you please on my holy day,

if you call the Sabbath a delight

and the LORD's holy day honorable, 

and if you honor it by not going your own way

and not doing as you please or speaking idle words,

then you will find your joy in the LORD,

and I will cause you to ride on the heights of the land

and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob."

The mouth of the LORD has spoken.

(from Isaiah 58)

Sabbath resources

While I'm thinking about it, here are some of the books I've been reading and found helpful about the Sabbath. Just in case you have nothing else to do!

(In fact, I just said to my dad who's sitting here at the breakfast table next to me, "Here's that book if you want to read it!" He laughed and said he'd have to add it to his stack of 11 or 12 "must read" books.)

Sabbath Keeping by Lynne M. Baab

My friend Jan Johnson recommended this book to me a couple of weeks ago after I asked her about her own Sabbath practices and so I immediately ordered it from Amazon. (Sometimes when I know I'm going to love a book I have to go ahead and buy it so I can write all over it--I'm one of those people who reads with a pen in hand!)

I really loved this book--it's full of practical wisdom on the Sabbath and packed with quotes from real people about their Sabbath practices.

One thing I especially liked was her helpful guidelines about choosing what to cease from doing on the Sabbath and what to actually do on the Sabbath. It very often comes down to a question of motive--not a list of do's and don'ts for everyone under the sun. 

Her guidance was very helpful to me in determining what I (and our family) should cease from on the Sabbath and also what we should strive to do. (More on that in another post.)

After reading this, my copy is underlined, arrowed, starred, and completely marked up. It's one I know I'm going to read again. (And I'm going to visit Amazon again soon because she has a great list of other Sabbath resources I want to check out.)

The Rest of God by Mark Buchanan

This is one of the first books I read on the Sabbath. It whetted my appetite to learn more about the Sabbath and is in my stack of books to read again. 

It's been a while since I read it, but one of the things I liked was that each chapter ended with a way to put into practice what the chapter talked about. 

I really like Mark's writing style. His book, The Holy Wild, is one I read every year.

The Sabbath by Abraham Joshua Heschel

 

I've just started this book and haven't made it far enough to say much about it. But I've heard great things about it and am excited to dig in. 

The Sabbath by Alistair Begg

I listen to sermons by Alistair Begg most mornings while I walk. (When he really gets going, his Scottish accent gets stronger and his Rs really rrrrrrroll!)

This series on the Sabbath is challenging, informative, and unapologetic about the fact that keeping the Sabbath holy is the fourth commandment. 

He too offers guidance about what the Sabbath means for us today--what is considered "work" and how we can keep the Sabbath holy.

(This series can be purchased as a set, but you can also download individual sermons to listen to on your iPod.)

So, there's the beginning of my list. Have you all read or heard anything else about the Sabbath that's been particularly helpful?

Sabbath

(It's been a little quiet around here this week--around the blog, not my house! Thus, the quiet here online. Toben's been out of town, we've had some meetings, some playdates, and we're supposed to roll out of here for the lake in a couple of hours. Everyone's still asleep though, and since there's no such thing as wireless connection in the car yet, thought I'd better check in now!)

So, the Sabbath...

I don't think I can get it all down in one post (and I really need to finish packing and I'd love to go for a walk before sitting in the car for hours on end the next couple of days), but I'll go ahead and start and continue my thoughts as the days go on.

As I mentioned a couple of days ago, God's really been bringing the Sabbath to the forefront on my life lately. It's one of those things where a topic pops up all over the place, sometimes in random places, and you begin to think, God, are you trying to tell me something? (Does that ever happen to you? I always think it's cool when it does.)

Anyway, I've been reading some books, listening to some sermons, and having some conversations with my parents. (I'll do a post with some links to books and sermons I've found helpful, challenging, insightful, intriguing.) It started a couple of years ago, in fact, but really feels like it's all coming together in the past few months. 

I've long felt that our Sundays need to be different than any other day of the week--that we need to honor the Sabbath and keep in holy (it's the fourth commandment, after all)--but I've just not been sure what that looks like.

I do know a couple of things:

It looks restful.

It looks relaxed and not rushed.

It looks like family.

It looks like service.

It looks quiet.

It looks peaceful.

It looks like the best day of the week.

It looks like freedom, rather than rules.

It looks deliberate.

That deliberate thing is the key. A day like that isn't just going to happen by chance. So we're putting some things into practice and asking God to continue leading--and here's the exciting part!--it's really coming together. And I'm so excited about it. Because I need a day like that more than "every once in a while when nothing else is on the calendar and somehow everything in my life lines up in perfect harmony."

The Sabbath is not a random, once in a while, "if you're really good and on top of everything and crossed everything off your to do list" kind of a reward. It's a weekly gift--and it's one I want and need.