Joanne Heim

Coincidence and God's voice

So often, those things we tend to categorize as "coincidence" really aren't. God speaks in many different ways, and so often what we think of as random, hmm-that's-weird kinds of things are really God's voice speaking.

Here's an example. 

So last night Emma prompted some family prayer. She asked how I was feeling, I mentioned that I'm worried/burdened/anxious about teaching Bible study and the preparation I'm doing, she said, "Let's pray about it." She got up, put her arms around me, and prayed for me. Right then and there.

(I know. How sweet and mature and amazing is that? Especially in a nine-year-old? As Beth says, some things are caught, some are taught--and she's getting it. I see such faith and practical obedience to God in her. Which is a whole 'nother post.)

After she prayed, I told her how much I appreciate her and how I see her doing what the Bible says--not worrying about anything, but turning our worries into prayer. As The Message says, "Instead of worrying, pray!" 

So then she hops on her iPod, finds the passage, and emails it to me. (Tech savvy kid!)

Not ten minutes later, the phone rings. My dad is calling to tell me that my basement has flooded because of a blocked drain. In Denver. Where lot of my stuff--not to mention my friend's stuff--is stored.

Worry! Fret! Stress!

Feeling helpless, far away, and unable to do anything. Guilty that my dad and brother-in-law have had to leave dinner to go deal with it. Horrible that my friend who's living in my house has to deal with such a mess. Worried about what it's going to cost to fix it. Borrowing trouble about another potential problem Dad raised that needs to be addressed later in the spring about drainage away from the house.

And on and on and on.

And then I thought of the simplicity of what we'd just been talking about. "Shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns."

Coincidence that we'd just been talking about what to do with worry? With fretting? Not at all. Coincidence that we'd just been talking about the fact that God wants to know our concerns--all of them--even stuff that we somehow doubt he'd care about it? Nope.

So our prayers last night had a lot to do with houses and drains and water damage and plumbers and so on. They may not have sounded "holy" or "spiritual." But something tells me they sounded just fine to God.

Shape your worries into prayer.

I have to say that I love The Message. Its simplicity and directness communicate the truth of what we often pass over as familiar in a fresh and exciting way. Toben worked with Eugene Peterson as the publisher for The Message for a number of years, so it's a Bible close to our hearts.

Want to get a copy of The Message for yourself? Check out my Amazon shop here. You can also read more of it at biblegateway.com. 

Bible study + sassy shoes = happy Joanne

That was my Twitter update earlier this evening--along with this picture, which is kinda blurry, but you get the idea. I LOVE these shoes. Red gingham and embroidered cherries? And a ruffle? And a super high heel? 

It just doesn't get much better than that. Unless of course you're wearing them to the first night of Bible study, which I was.

 

We started Bible study at church tonight--Priscilla Shirer's He Speaks to Me. I'm so excited to get up and do my first day of homework tomorrow. Even though it's already 10:19 and way past my bedtime!

I love my group already and took lots of notes on the intro video session. I've never heard Priscilla before and I loved her right off the bat. It doesn't hurt that she and Beth Moore are friends--cause I typically love the people my friends love. Priscilla has the loveliest smile, don't you think? It's making me want to get my teeth whitened.

Study finished at 9, but I sat around talking to my new friend Kristin with an "i" (Hi Kristin!) about books and Beth and studying God's Word and passion and so many other things. We could hardly talk fast enough. She's definitely what Anne would call a kindred spirit, I think! 

Okay, I've really got to head toward bed. The kitchen needs cleaning first (hate that when all I want to do is go to bed) and the coffee needs prepping. But even though I'd rather go straight to bed, I'll have an easier time getting up in the morning if the kitchen is clean and the coffee already on. It's the little things that make the morning run smoothly, you know.

So, have you started Bible study this spring/winter (it's hard to tell what it is in Phoenix!)? What are you studying? Inquiring minds want to know (which is really a nice way of saying I'm being nosey!). So do tell!

Running by faith

But I just have to come and say that on my run yesterday I RAN THE WHOLE WAY WITHOUT STOPPING!

And it's funny, because it felt good--until the end was close and in sight. Then it was hard to catch my breath, hard to keep going. Suddenly my legs felt like jello and I wanted to quit. Why is that? Why do I want to stop when I can SEE the end?

I saw this clip from Facing the Giants the other day and it's been on my mind. I know it's long, but it is so good--take the time to watch it.

Here's my thought: So often, we think it's hard to walk by faith; we long to walk by sight. We beg to walk by sight. If only God would show us the big picture, we think. 

But God knows that we can go further by faith than we can by sight.

I don't know what you're facing today, what you're taking on faith. But I do know this, walking by faith just may get you further than if you could really see.

Hang in there. Keep going. Give it all you've got.

Remember last week?

Last week when I saw the same verse multiple times in a morning? And blogged about it here? (Just noticed that post is highlighted on the Blogher ad bar over there on the right. That's kinda cool!)

Anyway, I just read THAT SAME VERSE AGAIN. Catching up on more blog reading.

Here. Coincidence? Not hardly. (That's my friend Robert Benson's blog, by the way. If you've known me for very long, you know how I feel about his books. They are some of my favorites. Go check them out in my Amazon shop here.)

Have to say, God is speaking left and right. Not just through this verse. But with repeated ideas and EXACT PHRASES that are showing up every time I turn around.

• He's doing a new thing. He's making a way.
• This oppression we're feeling? Warfare. Plain and simple.
• The effectiveness of truth against lies. We are not powerless in this battle!

And I can't tell you how much it means to me. It's been a hard week.  

Don't get me wrong. It's also good. A good hard, if you get what I mean. Funny how things can be good and bad at the same time. Happy and sad. Exciting and terrifying all at once.

God is at work. And the work he is doing is good and he will complete it. I KNOW that for sure. Yet having him reassure me that it's really him, that he's listening when I pray, that he's answering and using the same words so I know he really did hear? 

Wow. Leaves me breathless to be loved like that.

God listens when we pray. He speaks in response. Give us ears to hear, we pray.

Cool, but a little weird...in a good way

One of the ways I know God is speaking is when he says the same thing again and again. Not that he's beating me over the head to say, "Don't you get it yet?" But more of a reminder, an assurance, "Are you paying attention? Are you listening? Do you see that this is something I want to tell you?"

Does that make sense?

I was catching up on some blog reading this morning. (My Google reader is hugely full and I have to go ahead and admit that sometimes I just push the "mark all as read" button even when I haven't read them at all. It kind of makes me feel bad. I wish there was a "I wish I could read all these posts, but something has to give and this is it" button.)

Anyway, I was catching up on some blog reading (well, it was more of blog "skimming") this morning and saw the same verse three times. Three times in my quick perusing, three times in three different places.

I could go off on a tangent over the three (three in the Trinity; three dimensions of time with past, present, future; three wheels on a tricycle, three holes in a Twinkie). But maybe I should just pay attention to what the verse said.

It's one I've memorized in the past, one that I memorized during a particularly hard season (spring 2005 is what is marked in my Bible), one I've taught, one that fits the season we're in remarkably well.

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland."

It's a little weird how well it fits. And a little bit weirder because of some things that happened just last night. Yesterday morning, it wouldn't have jumped out to me quite the same way.

God's timing is perfect. That's something I know. Something I believe. Something I trust.

And it's something that continues to catch me off guard at times, to cause me to catch my breath in amazement, to raise goosebumps.

Isn't he amazing?

Something I read this morning

 

There is only one day left in the devotional I read every year during this season; tomorrow is the twelfth day of Christmas.

I love reading the same book every year, seeing what I've underlined in year's past, finding something that I'd not noticed before. This year, I've started dating the notes I make, to record and remember the when for years to come.

(And I wonder if someday my girls will read it, or perhaps their children, and want to know when and why I underlined the things I did. Reading another person's book, seeing their notes in the margin and funny squiggles and stars to mark something vital, gives insight into who they are, I think.)

One of these things in the picture was underlined already, the other I noticed this morning. It's hard to see well, but the contrast struck me today--because these two quotes sit next to each other on the page--one on one page, the other opposite.

It's easy to think that it's a happenstance of typesetting; it's just how the words flowed onto the page in design. Or perhaps it's Providence demonstrating the contrast between them visually as well as in idea.

Here's what's written on the left-hand page:

So to trust in a promise is faith: complete dependence without complete knowledge. And trusting in a command produces obedience...

And this is what's written opposite on the right-hand page:

And the lack of knowledge, far from producing trust in the wicked one, produces fear. Lack of knowledge is lack of control, and the loss of control threatens his power.

Wangerin is comparing Joseph and Herod, and in their lack of knowledge we can see ourselves. Each day we are faced with things we know only in part. 

Lack of knowledge--incomplete knowledge--is part of my life. Part of your life. What will it produce in me? Trust? Fear?

How often do I think or say, "I don't know"? And in those words I can easily relate to fear, lack of control, loss of control, threat. I can easily be Herod.

As this new year begins, I pray my response will change to be like Joseph's. Trust. Complete dependence. Faith. Obedience.

Be still

All day yesterday, I kept hearing that little voice telling me to be still. 

"Be still."

I'm not very good at being still. For moments, yes. Early in the morning, yes. But in the midst of a day with lots to be done, in the midst of emotions swirling around and dragging me along? Not so much.

I love the idea that God will fight for me. But I find myself setting limits and windows of opportunities for him to act, and then wanting to charge ahead on my own again when the time's up. 

"Be still."

Someone said to me the other day that a powerful racehorse is most powerful when it's bridled. 

It's been a while since my horse-y phase. That was junior high school and English riding lessons, days spent at the barn in the Yorkshire Dales, grooming horses and shoveling muck and polishing saddles. Then a lull and another couple of years of horsiness before Audrey was born with more riding lessons, cute jodhpurs, a cantankerous horse, and an obsession with really lovely riding boots.

Anyway, the image stuck with me.

That's what being still felt like yesterday. Wanting to run. And being held back. Wanting to race ahead of myself. And being checked. A mind filled with thoughts in a whirl, spinning with every "what if" and "then what." And hearing a voice say, "Be still."

I want to learn to listen to that voice. To take heed. To rest in it. To wait for the command to run before I go racing off--heedlessly and in the wrong direction.

Made to worship

I've been running lately. And while a very small part of me (a very, very small part of me) misses Jillian telling me that she wants me to feel like I'm going to die as I Shred with her and part of me knows I need to get back to doing pushups at least every once in a while, the thing that has me running is the music.

I was never much of a music girl growing up. Yes, I liked it. But now? I need it. 

Something about music washes over me, influences my mind and thoughts and heart and attitudes. That feeling of my heart bursting in gratitude and worship is something I need every day. 

Church on the weekend is not enough for me any more.

We were made to worship. Every single day. And we will worship. Something. Someone. The right music helps me worship the right thing. The right One.

Here's what's track 1 on my current running mix. I am LOVING this song. And listening to it over and over.

No matter the season, we have a reason to worship. We have a choice. It's a matter of the will. We will rejoice. We will declare. Songs like this tell the truth and help me determine to choose well.

Here are the lyrics. And they will preach. Yes, indeed.

Verse 1:
This is my prayer in the desert
And all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides

Verse 2:
And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames

Chorus:
And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain

I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

Verse 3:
And this is my prayer in the battle
And triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

Bridge:
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

Verse 4:
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be empited again
The seed I've recieved I will sow

Longing

I love a good rabbit trail. Especially when studying God's Word. When something I'm studying leads me someplace else and ends up not quite where I expected, but exactly where I need to be. 

As long as I leave a trail of notes (a good composition book and a Bic crystal are absolutely necessary), I can always find my way back to where I was and get back on the original path.

Anyway.

Yesterday morning I was following contentment through Scripture using the concordance in the back of my NIV Study Bible. Not exhaustive by any means, and subject to translation choices rather than the original languages, but it's what I had at the time and set me down a  path that ended where I'm going. If I can stop rabbit-trailing and just tell you what I want to tell you already!

So.

There's one reference to "contentment" in the Song of Songs. It's not really what I was looking for (which has to do with Psalm 23 as I prepare for Bible study in the spring), but was intriguing (because isn't the Song of Songs intriguing?) and I decided to come back to it this morning.

Here's what it says:

Thus I have become in his eyes like one bringing contentment.
 (Song of Songs 8:10)

Something in me just expands and aches with that. Yes, my soul sighs. 

I long for that to be true of me. A wife who brings contentment to Toben. O God, make this true of me for Toben, I pray!

In the Hebrew, the word that is translated "contentment" is shalom. Take a look at the definition: completeness, soundness, safety, peace, quiet, tranquility, contentment, friendship, peace (from war). The noun comes from a verb that means to be in a covenant of peace, to cause to be at peace, to be complete, to be finished, to make safe, to restore.

It's not something that's just going to happen. It's going to take some effort on my part. Some asking him how I can do this--even if the answers are uncomfortable. O, to be brave!

Am I causing Toben to be at peace? Am I a safe person for him? Does he feel safe with me, or am I causing him to hide? Am I truly a helpmate? Do I refrain from warring with him? What am I doing that brings him restoration?

We're headed up to a cabin in the mountains in a few weeks for four days of intensive counseling. Our eighteenth anniversary is coming up and it's been a long time since we've sat down and really focused on where we are, where we want to be, what might need some adjusting or just plain fixing.

We all settle into routines and schedules and life just kind of goes along sometimes without much thought or intention. I suppose it will be like going to the doctor for a full check-up.

I'm a little scared. Silly, but true. And yet I'm hopeful too. And eager for time to talk and think and dream and learn how I can become the wife I long to be.

Can I ask you a question?

I'm going to be teaching Bible study at my church this spring for six weeks--on Wednesday nights and Thursday mornings. I'm so excited to get have weeks to communicate a message, rather than just 45 minutes.

We're going to be studying Psalm 23 and learning some Bible study methods and disciplines along the way. So often, we study the Word when we're in Bible study, but on our own? Sometimes we're not so sure what to do.

We're going to take a chapter that's familiar to most of us and learn how to study it in-depth together, taking a deeper look at what it has to teach us.

So, here's my question: What do you want/need most from Bible study? Especially a study at church where someone is teaching?

I've asked on Facebook and Twitter too (a couple of other ways we can connect!). And I'd dearly love your input. Thanks, y'all!

Thoughts and attitudes

I have been feeling pretty "blah" lately. Not sick, but out of sorts, sad, and just, well, blah. Blah and discontent, if I'm totally honest.

In fact, I probably have a whole list of things that would go under the "Discontent" heading; what the items are isn't really as important as the fact that I have a list and I've been checking it twice. Dwelling on it. Reviewing it. Adding to it.

I was reviewing Psalm 16 this morning--a chapter I memorized a while ago and have let get fuzzy in my mind. And as I was reading it, it's like God highlighted some very specific things: "Listen up, Joanne, and pay attention."

Apart from you I have no good thing...

LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup;
you have made my lot secure.

The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
surely I have a delightful inheritance.

God reminded me that if something I want is apart from him--something he's said "no" about, something he's not giving me--it's not gonna be good for me. And my fear that I won't be happy with what he wants to give me is silly and, to be honest, insulting. He's already given his Son for me, and whatever else he wants to give me is good.

And whether I feel like it or not, my portion and my cup, my lot and my boundary lines are good. For my good. Because God is for me, not against me. And I can trust him to know what's best.

My struggles don't tend to be outward. I don't struggle as much with behaviors as I do with thoughts and attitudes and my mind. It's easier to keep the things I struggle with under wraps, to carry on on the outside, looking to all the world like I've got it all together.

But I don't. 

As I've knelt on the floor this morning, face to the carpet, I've prayed that God would change my mind. That he would transform my thoughts. That he would help me to set my mind on the truth rather than on whatever temptation comes my way to let my thoughts and feelings stray down a path of half-truths and lies.

Do not conform any longer to the pattern on this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. (Romans 12:2)

Drama Queen

 

I am not usually a drama queen by nature; I tend to stay pretty even tempered. (Though I will say I used to be a drama queen. Not sure if that was me, or just me having two children under the age of five for a season. Whatever it was, it was exhausting and I didn't like it much.)

Anyhow, today I was a drama queen. Or, more of a DRAMA QUEEN as the case may be.

Not so pretty. No tiara, no royal robes.

Just a good hair day and a really bad attitude.

The thing is, I don't even know what set me off. The day started fine. I blogged about my desire to get back to some discipline in my walk, some strict training in this journey of faith. I got the boys to school (my extra two!) after spending the night with them, and then went back home. I walked in the door and WHAM! 

It felt like I walked into a cloud, under a cloud, into a swirling mess. Some of it feels like SUPER DUPER PMS (my friend Yvette says it should all be capitalized like that, and I agree), but some of it felt darker than that. Stifling. Suffocating.

When I said "Bring it" at the end of my last post, that is so not what I meant.

And so I struggled against it and fought the cloud and then in a fit of rage gave in. Said horrible things to Audrey. Yelled a lot and was mean. 

And I have to admit that it felt good to give it free rein. For about a fraction of a second. And then it felt bad. Really, really bad.

I hate knowing that kind of thing lurks in me. I had thought it was gone--it's been years since rage has come out like that. And it scared me.

So I curled up on the floor in the living room and did the ugly cry. And then I got up and cried some more. Then read comments from you on Twitter and Facebook and listened to voicemail and cried some more.

And then I apologized to my sweet girl. Asked her to forgive me. And she did. I hope what she'll remember is me admitting I was wrong, remember my sorrow over my words rather than the words themselves. 

I hope she'll remember someday when she's a grownup that it's hard to be grownup sometimes, hard to be a mom. That moms can apologize to their kids, ask for forgiveness too.

I hope she remembers that we get do-overs. That while we do have to deal with the consequences, we can forgive and move forward and start again.

***

Lisa sent me this verse, and it's one you might need to if you can relate to any of this. It's definitely going on a card and be written on my heart:

I will try to walk a blameless path, 

but how I need your help, 

especially in my own home, 

where I long to act as I should.

Psalm 101:2, Living Bible

Index card haiku

Crisp, clean index cards--

Lined, unlined, three by five or

Four by six? Both, please.

Yes, I am a nerd. A geek. I love index cards. And don't even get me started on paper clips or the smell of sharpened pencils or Bic crystal pens. (Black only, please. Medium point. They write like a dream.)

Did you know you can set a Word document to print on an index card? You can! And then you feed them through your printer to have lovely, printed index cards. (Thanks, Heidi, for introducing me to the wonder a while back!)

That's how the girls and I make our verse cards each week, how I make all my Memory Monday cards, and how I made my turn-around cards for the Esther study.

Esther gals, did you make yours? If not, you can share mine!

Here's what they look like--nothing fancy, but better than if I'd tried to write them all out by hand.

(Front)

 

(Back)

These are set up for 3 x 5 blank index cards. Print the first file first. Then print the file of the card backs on the backs of your cards. Pretty simple, huh?

Download Turn it around cards

Download Turn it around cards--backs

Off to go print mine!

Never-ending study

We finished our Esther study last night at church. I can't believe it's been nine weeks since we started. Sixty three days. More than two months. How has the time gone by so quickly?

 

I love the beginning of a study when there's more to be done than you've done already, and always feel a little sad when I reach the halfway point. And then each week I struggle with wanting to race to the end, but holding myself in check because I don't want it to end.

I'm the same way with books I read. Which is why I love a good, thick book. And why I'd love a "never-ending" Bible study. Wouldn't that be great?

I know I've seen the movie "The Never Ending Story"--but to be honest, I don't remember much about it. What I do know is that the title grabbed something in me that yearns for such a thing. A story that never ever ends but just keeps going and twisting and turning and getting better with each turn of the page?

Yes, please!

But here's the thing I'm thinking this morning. 

Just because we've turned the last page in our Esther workbooks does not mean the study is over. There are pages and pages of Scripture to discover, to uncover, to dig into and study. And, if someday, we cover them all, we can start right back at the beginning and find even more treasure hidden in its pages.

So even though I'm going to miss Esther and the gals in my group, I'm a little bit excited too. Because a new chapter is about to begin again. I love studying in a group and with a workbook, but I also love studying on my own--just me and God. 

And that's what I'll be doing between now and January 27 when Bible study starts again at church.

We'll be doing Priscilla Shirer's He Speaks to Me for the first half of the spring semester, and then the women's ministry at church has asked me to teach on Wednesday nights and Thursday mornings for the six weeks after that. I am completely humbled and thrilled all at the same time. 

I'm already jotting notes on my laptop, in my journal, on scrap pieces of paper in my purse. I've started buying books on Amazon to help me study up, and have a list of books I need from the basement in Colorado. I'm waking up in the night with thoughts and ideas I pray God will remind me of in the morning.

So here's what I want to know. What group study are you doing now? And what will you study on your own when it's over?

This post didn't turn out to be quite what I expected, but it's what was on my heart this morning

Toben and Audrey went to see David Crowder Band last night and rolled in about midnight. Emma and I were sound asleep, after having had a little pj night with a friend and her daughter. A new friend who is such a good listener and whom I fear has heard enough about me to last her a lifetime.

I kept thinking, "Stop talking about yourself!" but she kept on asking and there were some things I needed to get off my chest, some things I needed to talk through, and I trust her. She's safe. And she offered some invaluable wisdom.

Do you have friends like that? I hope so. How God has blessed me with several of these kinds of friends in just a short amount of time! When I stop to remember that we've only been here in Phoenix for a few months and yet I have women like this in my life already, I'm just blown away. Thank you, Lord!

One thing I love is that the conversation always comes around to God's glory, his truth, his will. It's never just about me or whatever is bothering me. No, the question is always about the bigger picture, about how I will respond in a way that honors God. How is whatever it is being used to transform me into the image of Jesus, to point to God, to deepen my faith?

I've been thinking about Esther a lot--no surprise since that's the study I'm doing right now. In this past week's homework, she exposed Haman to the king. "The adversary and enemy is this vile Haman" (Esther 7:6).

And I've been thinking about exposing my enemy to my King. Yes, I know that God already knows what Satan is up to. That he's not surprised, caught off guard, worrying what Satan will do next. But he's invited me to pour out my heart to him, he's invited me to tattle tale on my enemy and let him deal with it.

So I have been.

It's been a little weird at first. But empowering. To say to God: "Satan means this thing for our harm. He means it for our destruction. But your Word has promised that you will use it for our good and for your glory. Come and rescue me, make me wise to the enemy's schemes, fight my battles for me. Help me see the truth that we're not fighting against flesh and blood, but against the enemy of our souls."

I have been a total tattle tale. It's amazing how this is changed my thinking, my praying, my trust. 

It's trust that turns it around. Whatever is tough right now, trust can turn it around. Because if whatever it is happens, my God will take tender care of me. Of my family.

***

Reading this through again makes me realize that it sounds like there's major drama going on in my family. And there's not. No need to worry. 

We're not on the brink of disaster. Really, it's just normal, everyday kind of life stuff that we all face. But let's be honest. It's often that normal, everyday life kind of stuff that gets us down the most. Huge drama tends to be a little rarer. Constant wearing away is exhausting and, in the long run, can do just as much harm, I think. That's why I'm determined to address it.

I don't know what you're dealing with. But you have a heavenly Father who's ready to listen to you tattle on your enemy. Go do it and let him deal with it.

Celebrating the Feast of Trumpets

Tomorrow is the Feast of Trumpets, prompting my Twitter/Facebook request yesterday for help finding a shofar. And I got some help with a name of a store not too far away where I can get one, though I don't have time to run out there before we celebrate tonight. 

(Yes, it'll be a day early, but we're headed to San Diego so we'll have our feast tonight.)

Anyway, Toben must've read my request, because I got a text last night that said this: "Got the milk. And a shofar." And then one that said, "Just kidding about the shofar." 

So when I walked in the door last night from Bible study to a sleeping house, I nearly woke everyone up with my laughter, because this is what was waiting on the dining room table for me:

Here's what the note says:

I love that man. And my party horn/shofar. It's REALLY loud.

So, what's the Feast of Trumpets? It's also called Rosh Hashanah, or the Jewish New Year. It marks the beginning of the holiest days of the Jewish year--the Days of Awe. These days are the 10 days between the New Year and the Day of Atonement, or Yom Kippur. It's a season for looking inward to spiritual growth, a time to make amends, to repent, to seek forgiveness.

Rosh Hashanah, or New Year's Day, is a day of grateful remembrance of God's benefits in the past year and a day to implore God's blessing for the coming year.

It is marked by blowing the shofar, a feast of sweet foods (usually including apples dipped in honey), passages of Scripture that center around the theme of remembering, and Tashlikh--a ceremony of casting stones into water, representing casting our sins away.

Themes of the feast include the new year, God's royalty, remembrance, the birthday of the world (the Hebrew words for in "in the beginning" spelled backwards translate into the first day of the month of Tishri, which is why many people believe the world was created on this day), and the day of judgement. 

The feast also calls to mind the second coming of Jesus, when he will return at the sound of trumpets to rule as King of Kings and Lord of Lords.

Why are we celebrating this? I've shared our Passover Seder tradition each year--a celebration that has deepened our celebration of Easter, and has given us greater appreciation for God's work in history and in our lives. As I've read up on some of the other feasts, I've really wanted to begin to celebrate them as a family.

We're not going all out--sometimes it just doesn't come together like I hope. But I'm excited to at least talk about this with the girls and to begin to follow the Jewish calendar throughout this next year. 

I've mentioned them before, but these two books are so good and I can't recommend them enough if the idea of celebrating the biblical feasts is at all interesting to you.

 

We'll be having our feast tonight--a simple dinner with some conversation and teaching about the feast. 

We'll remember God's goodness to us in this past year, and ask for blessing in the year to come.

And, yes, I'm sure we'll be blowing our horn!

"Be it thy will that a good and a sweet year be renewed for us."

New Year's Blessing

Good morning...

I'm out here on the patio this morning, sitting on my new loveseat, sipping coffee and enjoying the hint of coolness in the air. (It smells like cows this morning in Gilbert, Arizona, but I'm ignoring that part.) 

I've been studying the Feast of Trumpets/Rosh Hashana this morning some. It's this weekend and I'd really like for us to celebrate it as a family. We're headed to San Diego on Friday morning, so I'm not quite sure how that'll happen, so we'll see. Maybe we'll do our feast on Thursday--a day early, but oh well. (Note to self, get out the bread starter to bake bread in all the fun shapes required!)

(If the feasts sound interesting to you, be sure to check out these two books in my Amazon shop. I'd recommend them both in a heart beat.)

What's really on my mind is this: Psalm 103 (what the girls and I are memorizing right now as part of our Bible curriculum) says this:

The LORD is compassionate and gracious, 
 slow to anger, abounding in love.

All too often, I am slow to love and abounding in anger. I hate that.

More than anything, I want to be like Jesus. To follow his example--especially at home as I love my family. But my natural inclination is to get this one completely upside down and backwards.

O Abba Father, 

Please change me to be like you. To be what I cannot be on my own and in my own power. Make me slow to anger and abounding in love today. As I teach the girls. As we work together. As I parent and discipline and hang out with them. Stop me in my tracks when I get off track. Fill me with your Spirit and your mighty power to be and do what you desire.

Whatever it takes, make me like you.

Spiritual Mothering

 

This is what I'm reading, er, devouring, these days. I finished a mystery last night before bed and clearly thought, I should have been reading Spiritual Mothering instead. Not that the mystery wasn't good--it was--but this is BETTER.

So maybe devouring isn't the right word. Savoring? Savoring quickly? Reading with a pen in hand (no surprise there!) and underlining, circling, and drawing stars and arrows like crazy, for sure.

I may have mentioned here--certainly on Twitter (follow me here by typing "joanneheim")--that I was off to a meeting at church on Saturday morning to talk about mentoring. It's something I've thought about, been interested in, had questions concerning for a while. As one of the women there said, it hasn't felt like a concrete kind of a thing and I'm just a concrete kind of a girl.

I was excited to know that we'd be going through this book because my mother has read it with a group at her church and said tantalizing things about it. 

We'll be reading it together as a group (there are maybe eight or nine of us--from about my age all the way up to great grandmothers that I want to get to know so much better) over the next few months. I'm already way ahead of where we're supposed to have read to because it's just so good.

Here's what I like:

It is so biblically based. So clear. So orderly in its presentation of the topic. 

And on top of that, it's just challenging my socks off and directly relating to so many other seemingly coincidental/random things in my life right now. (Not that I think there's any such thing as coincidence or random--that's PROVIDENCE, something for another post.)

(Just to mention one of those things: Anyone else at Living Proof Live in Laramie in May? Beth talked directly about this--it was #7 in the notes.)

Anyway, I just can't help wanting to share this book with all of you. To have you read it, to hear what you think, to know what you underlined and circled and starrred. To peek at your notes in the margin.

I guess my question is this...anyone interested in doing an online book reading/study/discussion/club thing together? 

My mind is whirling with all the details about what to read when and how much to read at a time, how we'd do questions, and all that jazz, but for now I'll stop with what's most important to know.

Anyone want to join me?

Dear Beth Moore and all my Siestas...

Can you believe San Antonio and the Siesta Fiesta was one year ago this weekend? Wow, has this year flown by!

Missing you all...

Joanne

Esther

Last night was the first night of Esther at church, and I'm so excited I can hardly stand it. It has been way too long since I've done a Bible study and getting back to it felt so good! 

Don't get me wrong--I've been in the Word, in study--but between seminary and the church group doing studies I'd already done, it's been a while since I've been in a group with other women, studying God's Word for the sake of growth and study rather than for course credit.

(And though I've seen Beth in person a couple times over the past year, I've really missed seeing her week by week in a study setting. It felt like seeing a good friend after being apart when the video started.)

Sitting in a circle with women in a room filled with circles of women last night just felt right. And to have the study we're beginning be Esther? Well, it just doesn't get much better.

I love the book of Esther. Always have. From the time I was in about the second grade, it's been one of my favorite books to read. And one I read often.

It's not that I was a super spiritual little girl with my nose always stuck in the Bible. In a book, yes. But I read Esther over and over and over again because the Bible was the only book I was allowed to read in church when the sermon got boring.

Growing up, we went to church as a family. And so I learned to sit through a service, legs dangling off the edge of the pew, coloring in all the letters in the bulletin, drawing pictures and doodles, first to fill out the family's attendance card. But that only got me through the announcements and prayers.

By the time the sermon began, my bulletin was a scribbled mess and I needed something else to make the time pass.

Esther it was.

What's not to love about a story about a girl? Especially a girl who wins a nation-wide beauty contest to marry the handsome king and has to keep her true identity secret. A girl who uses her wits to outsmart an evil villain and learns to be brave in the face of danger.

Beautiful clothes, spa treatments, a luxurious palace. Great danger, great victory, great revenge.

I think we all wonder about our lives, our circumstances, how the pieces and parts all fit together. I certainly do. And as I think about the changes our family has gone through in the past few months, I'm especially excited to see how God is fitting it all together for our good and for his glory. 

The desert, this marriage ministry, exploring spiritual gifts and personality types, being away from the familiar, homeschooling, this group of women on Wednesday nights, my class of third graders on Sunday mornings, our new church. 

I do know this for certain. It does all fit together for a purpose. And I'm anxious to learn through the book of Esther what it all means "for such a time as this."

Tuesday night

How's that for a snazzy title?

I wrote a post for the blog Toben and I do together (Our Crazy Marriage) here. I've been struggling some with my emotions, with my attitude, with this whole marriage thing the past little bit. I wasn't sure whether to post it there or here, but there won it.

I feel a list coming on...

1. or two since that other thing was technically first.

2. My mom comes on Sunday and I am so excited to see her. It's been way too long. To go from seeing her almost everyday to living this far away is hard. We've done it before when we lived in California, but it is not my favorite. She's the best mom ever. And I'm not exaggerating. Ask anyone!

3. She and Audrey are headed to New York next week to see my sister. (My sister, who by the way, is pregnant--hooray!--and feeling pukey--not so hooray.) Mom and Audrey will spend time with them in Rye and lots of time in the ctiy exploring AND seeing Mary Poppins on Broadway. Lucky girls. Audrey is so excited and has already started packing.

4. We're taking a school break after Friday. Because Audrey will be gone, we're taking two weeks off. During that time, Emma and I will work on some cursive and some just Emma stuff, but for the most part we're going to spend time together doing what Emma wants to do.

Mom will come back in the spring to take Emma to New York, and we'll do Audrey stuff then. (See, I told you my mom is amazing!) Not sure when my trip is planned. ::hint, hint::

5. I got an iPhone. My old phone was starting to fall apart and even though it still worked, I caved. Toben was adamant that I get one, I was holding off. We were arguing (that sort of fake arguing that gets serious at weird times--do you know what I mean?) about it every stinkin' day, so I went yesterday afternoon with the girls and did it all on my own. Toben was so proud of me.

(Oh, and the Apple boy mocked my old phone. I think he thought I'm not the slightest bit tech savvy. Which I totally am!)

As much as I hated spending the money (I am very cheap), I have to say I love this phone. A lot. The whole app thing? Incredible. I spent 99 cents on Grocery IQ and am so excited to shop with it this weekend. It can total my list for me before I ever leave the house. No more surprise grocery bills!

Oh, and I made a special ring tone today. Sneaky shortcut thing Toben showed me how to do. Now he has a special ring all his own.

6. I'm starting Bible study tomorrow night. Esther! I don't even know how to begin to say how much I'm looking forward to it.

7. I love our church. After a bit more than a month, I feel so at home, so plugged in, so challenged to grow. Love it, love it, love it.

8. I'm taking a three-week class at church called Reveal. Lots of personality assessment, spiritual gift assessment. I've been working on the tests in my booklet and am so excited to learn what it all means. 

9. I think nine is plenty for a Tuesday night at 8:57. Think I'm going to sleep now. I feel like I've been fighting a cold for a while. A day with my ears hurting so I take cold medicine, a couple days of feeling fine, then another day of feeling just sort of off. Note to self: Take double Juice+ tomorrow.

10. Okay, just one more. That's a lotta links. I put them in just in case anyone wants them--no need to click on 'em if you don't care to!

G'night!

Resources: Teaching children to worship

I wrote a short paper this past spring about teaching children to worship for one of my seminary classes. And read a lot of books on the topic. I've put a couple of them in my Amazon shop if you want to check them out.

And if you want to read the paper I wrote (it's short, I promise!), here it is:

Download Teaching Children to Worship

Church on Saturday AND Sunday

Last week we decided to go to church on Saturday afternoon, something we haven't done since before the girls were born. With back to school coming soon, Mission is expecting an increase in Sunday morning attendance and doesn't want to turn anyone away. So we switched services.

We're going to church together as a family (something I always did growing up and love and think is so important--more on that in a second) on Saturday nights and the girls go to Sunday school on Sunday mornings. And while they're in Sunday school, Toben and I can volunteer during the busiest service of the weekend.

So this morning, Toben will be doing something with Guest Services--greeting, handing out programs, serving coffee or iced tea--and I'll be teaching third grade Sunday school. 

We're both so excited to volunteer at church. For the past three years in Denver, we've not volunteered at church at all. Our church there is HUGE, and there didn't seem to be as much of a need for us to pitch in. 

Instead, we put all of our volunteering efforts in at the girls' school. Between the two of us, we've led Bible study, taught at chapel, sat at the front desk, taught middle school writing, taught middle school knitting (that would be me--not Toben!), set up for events, cleaned up after events, helped plan events, coordinated meals, led the prayer group, and so on. 

Because we were always at the school, the girls loved being there. School was someplace Toben and I loved to be, and so it naturally became a place Audrey and Emma loved to be.

So...going to church together.

As a kid, my family always went to church together. Mom and Dad went to Sunday school when Kristen and I went, then we all sat in the service together. Yes, I was bored. I drew in the bulletin, swung my feet back and forth, was told to stop fidgeting. A lot. 

But at the same time, I learned. What I heard soaked in despite all the wiggling. Not all at once, but a childhood of sitting in church made a difference. And I know lots of hymns totally by heart--even the third or fourth verse that no one seems to ever sing.

There were rules. I was welcome to read--as long as I read the Bible. No outside books or toys were allowed. So I know the story of Esther and Ruth really well. I learned to take notes (I distinctly remember being fascinated by a three-point outline in the fifth grade) and to sit still.

So we've adopted similar guidelines for the girls. They bring their Bibles, they follow along, they can draw in the bulletin if they get really bored. But mostly they listen! We come home after church and have dinner and I'm amazed to hear what they learned in the service. What stood out to them. 

The biggest thing Audrey and Emma have said about sitting in the service is that it makes a difference to listen to a sermon from someone they know.

So here's my one piece of advice if you want to take your kids to service with you. Introduce them to the pastor, to the worship team. Oh, and sit up front so they can see. And a little hard candy goes a long way.

Maybe sinking isn't so bad

The prayer book I use has been in Psalm 46 this past week--a psalm that's pretty familiar to me. (I've learned verses 1-2 for Memory Monday this week, but more on that on Monday!)

By Saturday morning, I've read the psalm for the week seven times, and it's easy to sort of skim it and not think too much about what I'm reading.

Something that has stood out to me from verse 10 ("Be still and know that I am God") are the verbs. BE STILL. KNOW. And though I have some notes in my Bible about them, but thought I'd look up the Hebrew this morning.

BE STILL and KNOW that I am God.

Be still (Hebrew: raphah)

• to sink, relax, sink down, let drop (especially the hands)
• to abate, withdraw
• to let go, let alone, refrain
• my NIV Study Bible note says the phrase probably means "Enough!" 

Know (Hebrew: yada)

• to know
• to learn to know, perceive and see, find out and discern
• to know by experience
• to recognize, admit, acknowledge, confess
• to know, be acquainted with, to know face to face, to know by name

Here's what stood out to me. Sometimes being still looks like sinking. It looks like the opposite of what the world says: "Work harder, keep striving, keep treading water, don't go down without a fight!"

In the face of difficulty (which is what the context of the psalm describes--a city besieged in battle), sometimes we have to just let go. To stop trying to solve it or fix it or manage it on our own.

Reminds me of that line in a David Crowder song, "Letting go gives a better grip."

The verse doesn't say "Know that I am God and be still." It's after we let go, relax, begin to sink down that we come to know God face to face, to know him by name. When we let go, when we refrain, then we get to know God by our own experience rather than just knowing him by what he's done for others. 

In letting go, we find out and discern that God is who he says he is and can do what he says he can do.

So is it so hard to let go? Why do we keep hanging on, keep trying to manage whatever it is, keep treading water, and juggling all the things we're trying so desperately not to drop? 

I think fear is huge--which is why the psalmist begins as he does. (Oops, here comes my Memory Monday verse after all!)

God is my refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.

Therefore, I will not fear, though ___________________________.

You fill in the blank.

What are you worrying? What can't you seem to let go? Maybe it's time to let go, even if it means sinking some. Letting go and giving up aren't the same thing. As you let go, God will hold you up. 

The tricky thing is, we can't know by experience until we actually do it.

***

If you're not sure what to do during your quiet time, this is a great exercise. Pick a verse you know well--or don't know at all--and spend some time exploring the definitions of the words from the Hebrew (Old Testament) or Greek (New Testament). You don't have to speak Hebrew or Greek to do this! It may sound tricky, but it's not.

Verbs are a great place to start.

My favorite resource for this process is Blue Letter Bible, a super easy to use website that is a cinch to figure out. Go take a peek and play around with it some. You'll be able to look up word definitions, explore word roots, and see every other place a word is used in Scripture. Not to mention find maps, lexicons, illustrations, commentaries, even hymns that relate to a particular verse.

Up and at 'em

Are you sick of hearing me talk about packing boxes? Me too! But it helps me to get things down on paper--or whatever this internet/webby thing is made of.

I got a ton done yesterday. Audrey and I got her room mostly done after dinner and our after-dinner bike ride around the loop. The trash! Do your kids hoard trash? Seems like she never throws anything away. And puts things in weird places. And then gets upset when I get frustrated. Not good. But we made it through still talking and feel asleep nose to nose and holding hands last night. (Awww!)

Why are there Littlest Pet Shops here there and everywhere when we have a bin for them? Why?

Must say, there's nothing like moving to convince you that you have way more than you need. Even Audrey gets it after packing stuff up! But we've sorted and tossed and packed and she's getting close to being ready.

I think a year without so many drawers and bins will be good for her; there won't be as many places to hide things!

Up this morning? Emma's room. And then a trip to JCP's for curtains for the dining room since the old ones literally fell apart. And then to Target for sheets and towels.

And then later this afternoon sometime? My little sis and her kiddos arrive in Colorado! That's motivation to get going today so we can have some time to play!

I'm starting to count down the days--I think we have 10 to go. And despite so much accomplished yesterday, so much is still to be done. I woke up way too early this morning feeling overwhelmed by it all (not to mention the PMS that is looming).

So I hit the floor and poured it all out to God. Are you as amazed as I am that he actually cares about all the details that consume our lives? How incredible that God--huge as he is--cares about my cares! But the Bible says to cast ALL our cares on him because he cares for us.

So I did. And asked if I could just stay on the floor for the rest of the day! But after pouring it all out and asking him to keep my eyes focused on him and on what really matters, I'm feeling better.

Another incredible thing--when we give it all to him, our load lightens. And we can actually feel the difference. Certainly not right away every time, but letting go makes a difference.

I don't know what your burden is this morning, but whatever it is, whatever its weight, God is ready to pick it up for you if you lay it at his feet. It may be something you can lay down and be done with, or it may be the kind of thing you lay down, pick up, and lay down again for a while until you've finally let go once for all. 

Cast ALL your anxiety on him because he cares for you. (1 Peter 5:7)

A peek at my quiet time...

Pajamas

Coffee

Bible

Journal

Bic crystal

Cat

All the essentials...

Making sense of Scripture

I'm a pretty visual learner and even with looking at my Bible, there are times I read something (especially by Paul) and think, What did he just say? Paul loves big long sentences with lots of clauses that are just packed full of information.

In my quiet time this morning, I read Colossians 1:9-14. I love passages like this--prayers I can pray for others. But in true Paul fashion, this paragraph is made of only three sentences.

For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And we pray this in order that you may life a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving things to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light. For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

So as I go through it, I tend to write it down in my journal in a visual way that helps cement it in my mind. I ask questions that Paul answers through his various clauses and compound sentences.

Here's what I mean:

For this reason, 

WHAT REASON? (Their faith and love Paul talks about in verse 4)

since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you 

WHAT DO PAUL & TIMOTHY PRAY?

and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will 

HOW DOES GOD FILL THEM WITH THE KNOWLEDGE OF HIS WILL?

through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. 

WHY DO THEY NEED SPIRITUAL WISDOM AND UNDERSTANDING?

And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: 

HOW DO THEY LIVE THIS KIND OF LIFE AND PLEASE GOD?

• bearing fruit in every good work, 
• growing in the knowledge of God, 
• being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might 

WHY DO THEY NEED THIS POWER?

so that you may have great endurance and patience, 

• and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, 

FOR WHAT?

who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light. 

HOW DID GOD QUALIFY THEM?

For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, 

WHAT HAS THE SON DONE?

in whom we have redemption, 

WHAT IS REDEMPTION?

the forgiveness of sins.

Living Proof Live, Laramie: Notes

After a conference, I pretty much always type up my notes succinctly and print them out, sticking them in my Bible at the passage from the weekend. It helps keep it all fresh in my mind. Do you do that too?

This may get long, though I'll try to keep it succinct!

(By the way, my thoughts are in parentheses--some of what I've been thinking, not necessarily what Beth said.)

So, grab your Bible and head to Psalm 66. We're talking about "Strict Training."

"He trained us first..."

Psalm 66:10, The Message

(I love this. All too often we're ready to head to that place of abundance, that well-watered place so often mentioned in Scripture. But we forget that there's a journey to get there. We don't get to apparate like in Harry Potter, we have to get there the old-fashioned way: one step, one day at a time. At it takes training. Strict training.)

Here's the challenge Beth gave: 

Are we willing to train?

1 Corinthians 9:24-27 shows us what it looks like:

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly. I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave...

What if we told ourselves no? What if we said no to the flesh to say yes to the Spirit? What if we remembered that just because all things are permissible, not all things are beneficial? 

What do we want to be like when we grow up? What if we kept that in mind and pursued it with concentration, rather than aimlessly running and hoping somehow we might end up there at the end?

So how does God train us?

(It helps me to remember that God is the one who trains us. Yes, we have work to do. But not on our own, with our own power. It is God's power that works within us, causing us to act. If we try to do this on our own, in our own power, it's not going to last. At least I know it won't for me. I'll go a week or a month and then slack off. I need God pushing me, spurring me to action.)

1. He trains us to think bigger.

As big as God is--creator of the whole universe--he is focused on us. He created heaven and earth to have some place to put us.

Out of the whole universe, his eye is focused here on earth, on us.

Take a look at Ephesians 1:4-6 in The Message:

Long before he laid down earth's foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving by the hand of his beloved Son.

God is HUGE!

2. He trains us to praise louder.

Psalm 66:1-2 says we are to make his praise glorious! The Hebrew word for glorious is kabod and has to do with weight and how heavy something is. Worth was measured by weight in the ancient Near East. Our praise shows the worth of God, gives an impression of his worth to those around us.

Another word in the definition of kabod is "copious"--one Beth had us say a lot. How copious, how big, how huge is God to us?

What is he worth to us? Does our praise reflect that?

Never forget that our praise silences the Enemy. Psalm 8:2 says so. If he's attacking, whispering lies, the sure way to make him shut up is to praise God. Out loud. Loudly.

(Of course, not all praise is loud. There are times we must be appropriate to our surroundings. Sometimes praise is even silent. However, the car is an awesome place to praise louder. Especially driving alone--turn it up and sing your heart out!)

3. He trains us to live livelier.

In The Message, Psalm 66:9 says, "Didn't he set us on the road to life? Didn't he keep us out of the ditch?"

We are meant to live. Really live. To be interesting! 

A couple of quotes from Beth:

"You can't ride if you're driving!" God is ready to take us on the ride of our lives, but we have to let him drive. Our job is to enjoy the ride.

"Stay in your own lane!" Beth told the story of a boy she knows who won the gold medal at the Special Olympics. He came in dead last in his race, but won the gold because he was the only runner to stay in his own lane. We can't run our race trying to be someone else, trying to live life in someone else's lane.

(Our pastor preached on joy, on happiness on Sunday. And made the point that as believers, we should be happier than the world around us. We should have something--even in the midst of heartache--that makes the world take notice. Our lives should be fuller, richer, happier. We should live the kinds of lives that others want too!)

4. He trains us to prove mightier.

Trials and tests that come our way are designed to prove our faith genuine. To show that we are not frauds, but full of real faith that stands the test.

1 Peter 1:6-9 says this:

In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith--of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire--may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

(There's that idea of joy again! Funny how that keeps popping up.)

Satan is betting on us. That we will faith. That we will prove unfaithful and that in the midst of trials that we will think that God himself has proved unfaithful. That's what he's after.

But God is betting on us too. That we will prove genuine. Will we trust his faith in us? Will we have faith not just in God, but in what God could do through us?

Beth reminded us of Peter walking on the water. He trusted that Jesus could walk on water. He never doubted that. What he doubted was his own ability to do what Jesus called him to do. That God could do it for him. Part of Psalm 66 is remembering what God did for Israel (see v. 5-7). If God did it for them, he can do it for us.

Verses 8-12 describe some common experience in the lives of those who move from bondage to abundance. 

"You brought us into prison," literally, a net. God often allows us to be caught in a snare so we realize we are created for freedom. We are meant to resist bondage! And when we know what it's like, we appreciate freedom all the more.

"You laid burdens on our backs." Burdens and pressures will get heavier over time. That's the nature of addiction. Again, it's going to get worse and worse until we start to resist it and are desperate to be free.

"Men ride over our heads." This often involves actual people and things like jealousy, unforgiveness. We must learn PMPG: People make poor gods.

"We went through fire and water." Two extremes to describe two types of experiences--being burned and drowning. But both fire and water are used by God to cleanse.

(My coffee got cold...off to get a refill... Okay, let's do the second half. Told you it would be long!)

5. He trains us to emerge pure.

Purity is a priority to God in 2009--no matter what the culture around us says. God's power operates in purity; we must turn from all forms of impurity. Impurity will erode our souls.

Impurity often looks like verse 18: Cherishing sin in our hearts. Dwelling on it, not letting it go. This will hinder our prayers! 

We must be sorry for our sin, pray for godly sorrow.

Beth talked about being stuck here. About wanting to move into abundance, about wanting the Spirit to move in and through our lives with power. But for some of us, we just aren't getting there. We want passion and power, we pray for it, but we're not getting it. This could be the heart of the matter. She described sin that we still think about with longing, sin we know in our heads was wrong, but in our hearts we miss. That's cherished sin.

Her instruction was to pray for sorrow over it. To ask God to help us hate our sin. And she warned the consequences will often continue until we let go of it.

(One of the things that struck me about this was how this affects Audrey and Emma. I want them to know "I am expensive!" early. To be mighty women of God early. Not to wait until they grow up. As they get older and we talk about issues of sexuality and such, I want them to see that it's only a part of purity. That purity is about what they eat, what they wear, what they read. That purity is a whole life thing.)

6. He trains us to follow through better.

Verses 13-14 describe fulfilling vows we've made to God when we were in trouble. The "I'll do _____ if you only get me out of here!" kinds of prayers we've all prayed. The vows we've made to God but haven't kept.

What have we promised but not done? That's the heart of this point. It might not be easy, but if there's something we know we need to follow through on when we listen to our hearts, then we need to do it. And not be surprised that a kept vow always demands a sacrifice.

"Quit putting it off!"

(I don't know about you, but follow through is something I could use. Especially as we look to this move and this next year and the hopes and dreams we have for it. I want to follow through on the plans we've made. To think about what I want to be and then be that!)

7. He trains us to pass the Word plainer.

Verse 16 describes the power of a personal testimony. We must testify to others what God has done for us.

As Beth said, "We are responsible for the next generation. Our job is to show the next generation how to live."

(Again, this so made me think of this next year--and the years to come--and all of my hopes for teaching Audrey and Emma to be mighty women of God. Early. And here's where I need the follow through too. What am I waiting for? Just do the thing!)

Beth had all the women under 30 sit on the floor, and everyone over 30 sit up in the stadium seating. She had us do a pledge to each other that was so amazing. And she made no apologies for insisting that every single one of us needs to take someone younger under our wing to show them how to live this victorious life. Every one of us. Whether we think we have it figured out or not. We are all responsible.

She also issued a one-year challenge to us. To pray every day for one year for a heart to love God more than anything else. To commit to training for this next year. And to be prepared for the work God will do if we will commit.

(I'm in. Every day for one year to pray for a heart to love God more than anything else. To pray for an appetite for his Word. Are you in?)

8. He trains us to trust him deeper.

Verse 20: "Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me!"

This love of God is hesed. It is loyal love, faithful love. Love that will not fail. Cannot fail.

(Again, we are in strict training with God. And with each other! We are not alone, not running aimlessly trying to figure out how to make this work. God is at work with us. He will never leave, never forsake. He's with us every step of the way, cheering us on, helping us up when we trip and fall. His love for us is real. And when we get to the finish line, "IT'S ALL TRUE!")

So, are you ready to enter into some strict training? (As Beth said, "Don't be a sissie!")

Living Proof Live, Laramie: Pictures

Thought I'd start by posting some pictures from the weekend...notes coming later!

This is how you know you're in Wyoming:

And it gets beautiful really fast:

Can you feel the Love?

Kristin, Yvette, me

When I came out of the bathroom at this place, I noticed a purse in line at Wendy's and thought, Holly has a purse like that. And wouldn't you know? It was Holly. And Patty and Georgia! Small, small world!

We got to Laramie, checked into our hotel and had the most amazing carpet picnic that Kristin and Yvette packed. Salad, bread, cheese, Pellegrino. All on real dishes, with silverware and cloth napkins. They were so sweet to let me just come along for the ride!

We headed over to wait in line and ran into Holly again. And Patty and Georgia and Melana.

We got seats on the floor and sat down to wait and chat.

Kristin, Yvette, me

Holly, Melana

The countdown began to get our praise on!

Beth taught and I was too busy taking notes to take any pictures!

Afterward, we took some more pictures before heading back to the hotel.

Patty

Patty, Melana, Georgia, Miesta Moose, me, Veronica, Holly

We got back to the hotel and got on our jammies in time for the fire alarm to go off. We grabbed our mini bundt cakes and sat in the car, licking the frosting off our fingers until we could go back inside.

Then the phone rang and Kristin and I raced around putting wet towels at the door, unplugging everything like we were told. But when the guy told us to break the window we'd just opened, Kristin figured it was a prank call. Which it was. And a prank call cleared the whole hotel with that fire alarm too. Glad we didn't actually break the window!

Got a little sleep, then up bright and early for Saturday and some more praise.

That's Holly

And that's Beth bringing the Word--in a really cute jacket (and there were cute shoes too, though in true Beth fashion she took them off half-way through the morning and taught in her bare feet)

And that's a blurry photo of Travis singing his heart out

At one point we moved off the floor and sat on the outside edge where we could see behind the stage. As Travis was singing, I could see Beth behind the curtain, fully participating--arms waving as she conducted along. It was so fun to see! 

I am struck by the fact that this is not a job for any of this team. They are engaged in worship along with the rest of us. The worship team sitting across from me during the teaching was paying attention to Beth, taking notes, nodding their heads. There's no performance, no sense of obligation or duty about it. They are just as involved in what's happening as the rest of us.

I'm always sad when it's all over, but so glad to have good friends to drive home with so we could keep talking about what we'd learned, what we'd heard, what had made us sit up and think, That was for me.

I'll share my notes just as soon as I get them typed up!

Watch this

So I've seen this here, there, and everywhere on line in the past day or so. If you haven't seen it, go ahead and take the nine minutes it'll take. It's worth it.

I needed to be reminded of this. And I'm guessing you may need to hear it too.

YOU are God's masterpiece. Never forget it.

ADDED LATER:

Some of you are getting messages that I removed the video. I didn't. Anyway, here's the link to YouTube.

The shape of God's love

I wrote this the other day for a friend who's really going through it. But, of course!, it's something I needed to hear as well. And I thought maybe you might too. So here's my prayer for you today:

For this reason, I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to know how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

            Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. (Ephesians 3:14-21)

 This is my prayer for you this morning.

            That God may strengthen you with his power through his Spirit. That when you come to the end of your own resources, strength, and ability, that God’s Spirit is right there, filling you with his power that surpasses anything you could do on your own.

            That your faith continues to grow roots and be firmly established as you hold tightly to him for life. That as new things cause you to shake, that your faith goes ever deeper.

            That you may know the shape of God’s love for you.

            It’s kind of weird to think of God’s love having shape, having dimension. But it makes sense too. Our understanding of his love goes high when we’re filled with praise, when we’re convinced of his goodness, when we feel the joy of knowing him.

            And our understanding of his love goes deep when we’re filled with doubt, anxiety, and worry. When we question his purposes for us and wonder if his plans really are good. If God really does hear our prayers. If God really does care. If God is ever going to come to our rescue. As we sink into the pit, his love goes deeper. Even in the pit of despair, we are never alone.

            And our understanding of God’s love grows wide as we stretch out our arms to accept what he offers. When we pick up our cross and follow through suffering, when our knowledge of him grows past our limits.

            And it grows long when we seek to understand and accept his love day after day after day. It grows long as we persevere in the midst of sorrow and heartache and pain. As we keep our eyes fixed on the hope of heaven, where there will be no more sorrow, no more tears, no more pain.

            This kind of understanding only comes by experience. And it pushes higher and longer and wider and deeper as we live our lives and move with this God whose love has no limit, whose love is immeasurably higher, longer, wider, and deeper than we can imagine.

            As God’s love stretches and its dimensions grow, we are the ones who feel the pains of its growth. It hurts.

            My sweet sister, I love you so much. I see God at work in you through your suffering. I wish it wasn’t happening, that I could carry some of your sorrow. And yet, God is being glorified in you. You are representing him well in the midst of it. Keep holding on.

Something I NEED to know

So today is the National Day of Prayer. And the theme for this year is Psalm 33:22:

May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD,

even as we put our hope in you.

The girls and I read this psalm at breakfast; I read part of it at the girls' school today; we read the psalm from The Message after dinner.

And here's what I need to know: God's love is unfailing.

His love does not fail.

His love will not fail.

And here's the kicker...

His love cannot fail. Did you catch that? God's love can. not. fail. Period.

I need that today. Because there are some things I'm praying for that seem to be failing. I pray with all my heart. I trust God. I believe him. But it doesn't seem like anything is changing or getting better. In fact, things seem to be getting worse.

But God loves my dear friends. He loves them. And his love for them does not fail. It will not fail. It cannot fail.

I'm hanging on to this verse and share it with you. Cause I'm guessing someone else might want to hang on to it too: 

Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace.

(2 Corinthians 4:16, The Message)

Engraved on the palm of his hand

Isaiah 49:16 says we are engraved on the palm of God's hand--a verse I've always loved for its poignant imagery.

Saw this idea at my friend Wendy's yesterday and knew instantly this was something I wanted to do today. So I sent the girls off to school with the message that Jesus died on the cross for them--for the whole world, yes--but for Audrey, for Emma. He has engraved them on his palms out of love.

Love greater than we can imagine.

Wishing you a Good Friday, one in which you know for certain that Jesus died out of love for you and that your name is written on his hands.

Getting ready for Easter

I was so sure the girls had Friday off of school for Good Friday, but they don't and I'm bummed. Audrey just asked if they could stay home anyway, but I've heard the school is planning a cool chapel for them, so they're going. Plus I have school that morning too.

We're having our Seder dinner on Friday night and there should be plenty of time for the girls to help with it when they come home from school on Friday. They can set the table and maybe make the haroset. And maybe make some Easter story cookies.

I've blogged about this tradition before here. If you've never done one of these, it's an amazing experience. We like to include others, but with Good Friday services, it makes it a little tricky for other families to come. 

I think this year it will just be the four of us--something that feels a little weird since we live close to family, but normal at the same time since growing up it was just my parents, my sister, and me for the most part.

I have to confess that I've not really decorated for Easter this year. Despite being aware of Lent and doing a Lenten devotional (Reliving the Passion by Walter Wangerin--so good!), I feel like it's snuck up on me.

We'll go to church with my parents on Sunday morning and then have brunch at their house. And Mom decorated, so all's well!

By the way, if you've never read or seen The Robe, now's a good time. If you like Francine Rivers' Mark of the Lion series, you'll love it! 

What are you doing to get ready for Easter?

Okay, I've got 11 minutes...

...until I need to go get the girls from school. But I wanted to pop in and say hi.

It's gorgeous here in Denver today. In fact, I've been sitting on the back deck with my feet up, reading Jeremiah for my prophets class and Zepheniah for my hermeneutics class. Lovely!

Went to class today and learned about Isaiah. Such good stuff. This class (my prophets class) is rocking my world. I just finished an assignment that I'm thinking about posting here. We'll see if I can frame it in a way that makes sense.

Then I passed my mom while I was driving down the road and called her and she turned around and came and took me out to lunch. Very fun. Some of you know my mom and can attest that she pretty much rocks. It was a hard lesson for me, but I've learned to share. So if you need a mom, I'm willing to share and will even be nice about it. (Which is a whole other story for another day.)

I've been jamming out to some great music today. (Do people still say "jammin' out"? Probably not. Oh well. I'm clearly a child of the 80s.) You know, I've not really been listening to much music lately--and it shows. I've said before that listening to good music--praise music--helps set my heart. And I know it. And yet I haven't. Not too smart. Already my heart feels lighter and more full of joy.

Toben's in Phoenix--why I'm getting the girls from school. Somehow I have a hard time getting them to school on time in the morning. But we had minutes to spare this morning. It was so nice!

Do you ever read the Bible and look at the Israelites or the disciples and think, "They were so dumb!"? Or like Jesus says in The Message, "Are you being willfully stupid?" (Love that!) Often I feel so superior and like I so would have got it. But the truth is that I'm just as stupid as they were. 

I'm not getting down on myself, but just stating a fact. I see myself more and more in their not getting it.

Take the Israelites. They'd just walked through the Red Sea on dry ground for crying out loud! And yet they doubted God's ability to give them a little drink. Here's God who's so clearly in control of water and they're afraid a desert might hold him back somehow.

But I do the same thing. God has done amazing miracles in our life. And yet I come up against something and doubt his ability to work. I've been spending quite a bit of time confessing my doubt and unbelief the past day or so and asking him to help me trust him more. To stand back and wait for him to act instead of making my own plans in case he doesn't come through.

Silly, but true.

God can do anything. There's nothing in your life too big or too hard or too overwhelming or too impossible for him to make right. In fact, maybe he's thinking, Great! Here's an opportunity to really show her what I can do! 

Maybe we need to get out of the way and let him do it.

Simplify Me: More answers to Lisa's quiet time questions

Okay, so where'd I leave off?

Are you legalistic about your quiet time? Well...

The answer has to be no. Because I don't do it to make God love me any more than he does, to avoid any punishment I think he might give me if I didn't (which I don't think he would), or because someone told me I have to.

I am disciplined about my quiet time. For all the reasons I gave earlier this morning. Because I desperately need it! 

It's not a have to for me, but a want to.

There's a huge difference. Because I spent years of trying to have a quiet time because I thought I had to and because I was told (or perceived) I had to. While the practice itself isn't that different looking, it never lasted when I did it only out of obligation. And to me, legalism smacks of obligation.

That leads into another of Lisa's questions...

How do you keep yourself on track with an early morning rising time? I set an alarm!

Not everyday, but definitely on weekdays. And after years of getting up early, I just wake up. The latest I wake up is usually about 6--on weekends I like to roll over and go back to sleep for a while, but I can't remember the last time I was in bed past 7 a.m. Sad, but true.

(It doesn't hurt that the cats really want their breakfast and are used to getting it at about 5:07, so they tend to wake me up or jump on my head if I stay in bed too long.)

Simplify Me: More about quiet time

Okay, I'm getting back on track with Lisa after my bloggy break. We're talking about quiet time, and I asked her what questions she had. Here's her response:

Oh my how much time do we have to talk? I have so many questions...how do you get past the fear of inadequacy that I listed above, how do you become a morning person, can you recommend a really good devotional, when you journal do you just write free form or do your daily entries follow the same format, how do you keep yourself on track with an early morning rising time, are you legalistic about your quiet time, how do you organize and format your quiet time, do you have quiet time every day, if/when you miss your quiet time how do you feel? I think that covers most of my questions.

And here's the link to her post if you want to go read it and come back.

So, let me give it a shot. With the understanding that I don't have all the answers, but I'm happy to share my own experience and what works for me. So if any of you have different responses, chime in the conversation, okay?

How much time do we have to talk? As long as it takes! I'll answer a few for now and we can keep going from there.

How do you become a morning person? I'm a big believer in first thing quiet time. Because I know myself and my tendency to get off track quickly, I need to start my day on the right path--with my heart and mind set on God. (And even with that, I can get off track all too easily!)

First thing means different things to different people. I get up at 5 a.m. (No, wait, keep reading--I'm NOT saying you have to get up that early too!)

For this season in my life, that's what works best for me and for my family. But some of you may not need to get up and out the door, others may have small children and morning nap time is an obvious "first thing" kind of a time for you. First just means before your day really gets going.

I will say that if what's going to work best for you is early morning and you're not sure about being a morning person, you can ask God for help. And he will help. Not a wave a magic wand, make you get up at o-dark-thirty singing like Snow White kind of a help. But he will help you make some choices to get out of bed.

So much of it is about choice. If you're going to get up earlier, you may need to go to bed earlier. And clean the kitchen the night before and get the coffee ready, because even though I've been getting up at 5:00 for years, if the kitchen sink is a mess and the coffee's not ready, I have a miserable time getting up.

Do you have quiet time every day? If/when you miss your quiet time, how do you feel? Yes, I do have my quiet time every day.

It has become part of my routine, like drinking coffee or eating breakfast or brushing my teeth. When I first began, though, it wasn't every day because it just takes time for something to become part of your routine, to feel normal.

Very rarely, I do miss it. Girl Scout camp or vacation--usually when I'm out of my normal routine is when it's easiest to skip it. How do I feel? Just fine for the first day, but any longer than that and my family starts to notice that something's not quite right. 

I need God. Without him and time spent alone with him in prayer and study and conversation, I become more self-centered, less patient, angry even. I need time with him to remind me of how to live and without that I quickly fall into focusing entirely upon myself and how everyone else around me can make me happy. It's not pretty.

I'll come back and tackle more of Lisa's questions in another post, but I'm hungry and off to make a big bowl of grits. (Yes, I do like them! Swimming in maple syrup. Mmm...)

If this whole idea of quiet time is new to you and you have lots of questions, feel free to ask away. Also (shameless book plug coming!) this is really the heart of my newest book, Misplacing God. You can get a copy by clicking on Amazon shop link in the sidebar, or by clicking directly on the Misplacing God link under My Books at the top of the sidebar on the right.

A great question

Cathy left a comment the other day after I put up those quotes on prayer, and I think she has a good question:

Hi! But what happens when you do pray, and pray HARD, only to find that the answer is not what you wanted. How do you get over that? That is the place I'm in now, and it sucks.

I can relate. There are things I've prayed for--HARD--lately that God has not answered the way I wanted. I've prayed for healing and people have died anyway. 

And there are things I have prayed about--for YEARS--that God doesn't seem to be answering at all. 

I have to stop and remind myself that "no" is still and answer to prayer. And so is "not yet." And so is "yes" but in a different way than I hoped.

As I have prayed for healing and people have died, I've had to recognize that God HAS healed them. He has made them more whole than they've ever been, given them life that is truly life--because he's brought them to heaven. He has removed pain and brought them to a place far better than I can imagine. More on that here.

As I have prayed for things that God doesn't seem to be answering, I have to remind myself that I don't see the whole picture. God may be working in ways I cannot see yet. In those "not yet" kind of things, I want to be diligent in prayer, to keep on asking, to be persistent, to keep on continuing in prayer like that quote said.

(As an aside, one thing I'm facing in seminary is that I really love to have all the answers. But I'm being challenged to accept the mystery. That there are things I don't know, things I can't know. That it's okay to say, "I don't know." All that to say, I'm trying to answer your question, Cathy, to share what has helped me, but I don't want you to feel like I'm coming up with a pat answer that doesn't really offer any hope or comfort. Does that make sense?)

But disappointment and sorrow and that place that sucks? When the answer is clearly "no" and I don't understand why? That's hard.

All I can say is to take all that sorrow and hurt and disappointment right back to God. Tell him about it, pour out your heart to him. Trust in his character, in his goodness and mercy. Believe that his plans for you are for good and not harm--even when the circumstances seem to doubt that.

The question of WHY God chose to answer in a way you didn't hope for or pray for? I just don't know.

Here's a link for a great book that deals with this question. Jerry Sittser was one of my professors at Whitworth College and has an incredible story to share. It's been a while since I read it, but I remember that it was helpful.

So, all the rest of you out there: What do you think about Cathy's question? What's helped you? How would you respond?

A couple of quotes on prayer

Chris asked me about some great quotes on prayer, and the next day I found this in my prayer book:

None can believe how powerful prayer is, and what it is able to effect, but those who have learned it by experience. It is a great matter when in extreme need to take hold on prayer. I know, whenever I have prayed earnestly, that I have been amply heard, and have obtained more than I prayed for. God indeed sometimes delayed, but at last [God] came.

--Martin Luther

It is not enough to begin to pray, nor to pray aright; nor is it enough to continue for a time to pray; but we must patiently, believingly, continue in prayer until we obtain an answer; and further we have not only to continue in prayer unto the end, but we have also to believe that God does hear us, and will answer our prayers. Most frequently we fail in not continuing in prayer until the blessing is obtained, and in not expecting the blessing.

--From Autobiography by George Mueller

We have to pray to see prayer work. And we have to keep praying, believing God hears and will answer.

We must persevere. We must persist. We must pray.

"I believe, Lord; help my unbelief!"

A couple of thoughts about praying for others

The other day I mentioned something about prayer and Kelley asked me to share more. I sent her a quick email, but thought I'd answer in more detail here. 

I think this ties with the conversations Lisa and I are having about living simply. Especially as we move forward to talk more about daily quiet time--one of her goals.

A big part of my daily quiet time is praying for others. 

Growing up in the church, I heard "I'll pray for you" a lot. I said it a lot. And I have to say that I didn't always do it. It seemed like the thing to say and sometimes it seemed like not such a big deal. Somehow it didn't seem super practical to me. I have to admit that I sometimes had the attitude of thinking that it wouldn't do much good.

But here's the thing. As I mentioned yesterday, Toben is bipolar. And in the midst of all that coming to light and the heartache and confusion and sorrow and pain, there was really nothing people could do to help. Except pray.

I know that God used those prayers--of my parents, of their friends, of our friends, of people I didn't even know--to change our lives. 

And so I pray for others--I suppose the technical name for it is intercessory prayer. It is my joy and my privilege to pray for others--for you.

But the list gets long, the list gets overwhelming, and it can be hard to know where to start. So I've grouped requests into like categories to help me pray for others and to be faithful in it.

Here's what it looks like for me:

Mondays: My family--parents, in laws, my sister and her family
Tuesdays: Healing
Wednesdays: Marriages
Thursdays: Salvation for friends and family
Fridays: Our nation and the world; leaders in politics
Saturdays: Friends
Sundays: God's church in the world, my own church, missionaries

I also pray for Toben and the girls each and every day. I'm a huge fan of Power of a Praying Wife and Power of a Praying Parent. I had my copies spiral bound and flip to a new page each day. Go here to purchase a copy if you want.

(A note about my bookshop on Amazon. It's simply a place where I can recommend books and you can purchase them. It's part of Amazon so all your account information is already on file--assuming you shop there as much as I do!--and it ships directly from them. I earn a small commission that offsets all my textbook purchases!)

I write specific prayer requests in the books as I go along, and also how God has answered. I've done this for years, and can go back and see how God has been at work on a particular issue through the years.

***

Sorry I didn't get a Frugal Friday post done yesterday. Maybe later today. 

And I just learned last night that my mom HATES that picture I put up on her birthday. (Kristen used the same one--after all she took the picture!) Sorry, Mom! I'll see if I can't find one to replace it.

I'm off to Kimberly's later this afternoon for a tea party. I'm so looking forward to it!

Heaven is a REAL place

I got an email on Monday night letting me know that one of the teachers at the girls' schools had died that afternoon. She's been fighting cancer for more than a year, had wasted away to almost nothing, and was in the hospital after surgery to remove a tumor that broke her back.

And in the midst of it all, she glowed with love and faith in Jesus.

It's was hard to tell the girls. They have faithfully prayed for her healing, and it was hard for them to feel like God didn't answer their prayers. Audrey especially was touched by this, as she'd worked with this teacher on some learning issues. She's cried herself dry.

And yet as I was praying yesterday morning (Tuesday is the day I pray for healing for others--including YOU, if you've sent me a prayer request for that) I had to praise God. Because he did answer our prayers.

She is WHOLE. She is HEALED. She is WITHOUT PAIN. She is BEYOND SORROW. Because she is WITH JESUS.

Yes, I wanted her to be healed here on earth. To remain with her husband and three children. To live a long life. But what she received is so much better.

As a child, heaven never seemed quite real to me. I knew it existed, but my ideas about it were vague and murky. I didn't really want to go to heaven because it seemed so unknown. In truth, I was a little scared by it.

But the Bible tells us a lot about heaven. And I think we'd do well to think about, dream about, learn about it more than we do. As I think about it, I don't know that I've heard that many sermons about heaven. Why is that?

As Audrey and Emma and I have talked, it's helped them to realize that heaven is a REAL place. With real sky. With real ground. With real trees. With real streets. With a real city. With real people. It's helped them to know that this teacher is in a real place--a place they too will go someday. She's not gone. She hasn't ceased to exist. Her life isn't really over.

I love this song by Kirk Franklin about heaven. He wrote it in celebration after a friend of his died. And singing this song (because, let's face it, I always sing along!) makes me want to go to heaven. Really, really want to go to heaven.

Maranatha! Come quickly, Lord Jesus!

P.S. If you want to learn more about heaven, I'd recommend Randy Alcorn's book, Heaven. It's pretty thick and extremely repetitive if you're trying to read it cover to cover. But it's an easy resource to use to answer specific questions.

Quick encouragement

I know that this makes three posts in less than twelve hours, but I just had to share this with you this morning.

I've been in Psalm 131 this week during my quiet time. It's a short one--just three verses. Seems like not very much to spend seven days on, huh? But yesterday I spent some time looking up the meanings of the original Hebrew for verse three, which says this:

O Israel, put your hope in the LORD

both now and forever more.

Here's what I learned.

The word for "hope" is actually a verb. It means "to hope, to wait, to expect. To tarry, to wait for." The lexicon added this "to remain, to delay."

"Now and forever more" is a combination of a conjunction and a noun. The first part means "as far as, even to, until, up to, while." The second part is this: "long duration, forever, everlasting, evermore, indefinite or unending future, eternity." The lexicon added this: "the beginning or end of which is either uncertain or else not defined."

So with all that in mind, here's the encouragement I have for you today--based strictly upon God's Word.

"O [insert your name here], put your hope in the LORD
both now and forever more."

Wait for him, even when there's no end in sight, when it seems like all hope is lost. When all else is uncertain and unsure, wait for God with the expectation that he will arrive. When all around you is moving forward or in another direction without clear leading from God, wait and be still. Tarry a little longer, delay whatever plans you have made. Wait for him, trust him to keep his word. He has promised to come and he is worth waiting for.

Just look at the very last verses of Scripture found in Revelation 22:20-21:

"He who testifies to these things says, 'Yes, I am coming soon.'
Amen. Come, Lord Jesus.
The grace of the Lord Jesus be with God's people. Amen."

May God bless you abundantly today, my friends. I love you dearly!

An economy of words

I was thinking the other morning about words--the kinds of words I use, the ways in which I use them, what God has to say about my words, how I save or spend them.

Is there an economy of words? Just because there's no limit of the words we speak, does that mean we shouldn't spend them wisely?

Over the last year, I've prayed a lot about God setting a guard over my lips, about my mouth being filled with his Word, about knowing the right word to say and the right time to say it.

Because we do spend words. We can waste them or invest them, but once they're spent, there's no getting them back. As much as we wish we could take back our words, we cannot.

The book of Psalms has a lot to say about the ways we use our mouths and the words we say. In fact, the Bible as a whole has a lot to say about our words. But I've been reading Psalm 89 this past week and it begins this way:

I will sing of the LORD's great love forever; 
with my  mouth I will make you faithfulness known through all generations.

I will declare that your love stands firm forever,
that you established your faithfulness in heaven itself. (v1-2)

How am I spending my words? What am I singing about, using my mouth to make known, declaring?

Is it...

• arguing
• complaining
• worrying
• nagging
• gossip
• silliness
• lies?

Or am I using my words for...

• confession
• praise
• prayer
• encouragement
• testimony
• teaching
• instruction
• song 
• truth? 

I want the second list to be the one that's true of me, but all too often I'm singing the same old songs from the first list, rather than singing a new song. One of praise and adoration.

The truth is that we are not saved to simply sing that same old sad and sorry song. No! We have been chosen by God to sing a new song.

"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light." 1 Peter 2:9

Are you singing the same old song? Isn't it time to "sing to the Lord a new song"?

Sing to the LORD a new song;
sing to the LORD all the earth.

Sing to the LORD, praise his name;
proclaim his salvation day after day.

Declare his glory among the nations, 
his marvelous deeds among all peoples.

For great is the LORD and most worthy of praise;
he is to be feared above all gods.

For all the gods of the nations are idols,
but the LORD made the heavens.

Splendor and majesty are before him;
strength and glory are in his sanctuary. (Psalm 96:1-6)

P.S. That last line just stood out to me. If I'm needing strength (and I sure do, don't you?), the place I need to be is in his sanctuary. No where else.

Gifts we think we don't want

I came across this quote in one of my Advent devotional books (Watch for the Light) the other day and it made me stop and think:

This is often the way God loves us: with gifts we thought we didn't need, which transform us into people we don't necessarily want to be.

~William Willamon, on December 14

I really do want to be transformed into a person who reflects Jesus to the world around me, so I'm not sure about the second part of that quote. But I do agree that the ways in which God molds and shapes me and loves me are often through circumstances I'd rather do without.

And yet.

The hardest times in my life have been the sweetest gifts God has given me. Because the heartache and turmoil and pain and sorrow was worth the growth and intimacy with him that came from it. I can say with certainty (knowing myself--and my mother would agree) that I would not have learned some of those same lessons if the circumstances hadn't been so extreme. Often hard lessons are the ones we learn best.

So why have I been resisting the circumstances I've found myself in lately?

In a weird way, it's been familiar and even oddly comfortable to be back in a place of total dependence, of desperation, of crying out to God for his mercy and love and presence. Though the circumstances are different, the center of these circumstances is a safe place I've been before. 

What would happen if we regarded our hardships, our trials, our disappointments as gifts? Gifts from a faithful and loving Father for our good, not for our harm. Gifts to give us a future and a hope. Gifts to transform us into the image of his Son, whom he loves.

 

What I really opened up my computer to blog about

After saying yesterday that I don't believe in coincidences, God proved the point. The readings for my quiet time today spoke so clearly--again!--that I just had to share. Because I'm so astounded at how much God loves me and how much he has to say to me about exactly where I am that I can't keep it all inside.

This was part of the reading for today:

"I will...gather those who have been scattered. I will give them praise and honor in every land where they were put to shame. At that time I will gather you; at that time I will bring you home. I will give you honor and praise among all the peoples of the earth when I restore your fortunes before your very eyes," says the LORD. (Zephaniah 3:19-20, emphasis mine)

Did you see that the whole scattered thing is there--again?! That and the fact that God speaks?

And the other passages in the reading (Isaiah 2:2-6, Philippians 4:4-9, Luke 3:7-18) followed that up with the whole idea of singing and rejoicing. That in the midst of anxiety we can present our requests to God, accept his peace, and rejoice in the midst of it. Because he is among us, because he is Immanuel, God with us.

I've not been very joyful this week. I've been moping and sad and feeling like somehow Toben and I are going to have to work ourselves out of the pit we're in because we got ourselves into it. 

But something else I read this morning confirmed to me that God will be the one to do the work. (Back to all those "I wills" from Ezekiel the other day.) That though we've been saved for eternity we still need his salvation from this thing. And that like our eternal salvation, we cannot achieve it by our own works. That salvation--any kind of salvation--comes from God alone.

Jesus saves. They sang that at the Christmas program at church yesterday. And I was struck by its truth. Jesus saves. Once and for all. And every single moment of every single day. Jesus saves.

He speaks

One morning during chapel last year, a mom leaned over to me and said that she didn't think that God talked to people anymore. I looked at her. "What?" she said. "God talks to you?"

Yep. Not in an audible voice. But God speaks to me. He is a God to whom speaking and communicating is vastly important.

The Bible opens with God speaking the universe into creation and ends with Jesus, the Word of God, speaking a promise to return to earth. And all throughout Scripture God speaks. And he hasn't stopped.

I came across this quote from Karl Barth in one of my Advent books, Watch for the Light, this morning:

"...the living word of God is available to us. It is a word that, in contrast to all human words, is clear, intelligible and unambiguous."

While at times God clearly impresses something on my heart or tells me something I couldn't possibly know on my own, God speaks to me primarily through the Bible, his Word. 

So often, we don't think God speaks because we're not in the Word. We can't hear if we don't listen, and we listen by spending time in the Word. If we want to hear God's voice, we must read our Bibles.

I don't believe in coincidences. And yesterday's reading from Ezekiel 34 was so clearly God speaking to me, because it talked exactly about being scattered:

For this is what the Sovereign LORD says:

I myself will search for my sheep and look after them. As a shepherd looks after his scattered flock when he is with them, so will I look after my sheep. I will rescue them from all the places where they were scattered on a day of clouds and darkness. I will bring them out from the nations and gather them from the countries, and I will bring them into their own land. I will pasture them on the mountains of Israel, in the ravines and in all the settlements in the land. I will tend them in a good pasture, and the mountain heights of Israel will be their grazing land. There they will lie down in good grazing land, and there they will feed in a rich pasture on the mountains of Israel. I myself will tend my sheep and have them lie down, declares the Sovereign LORD. I will search for the lost and bring back the strays. I will bind up the injured and strengthen the weak. (Ezekiel 34:11-16, emphasis mine)

Remember this? This has been a scattered week for me--a hard and painful week that began with a "day of clouds and darkness." And yet in the midst of it all, I'm hearing that God is at work. It's hard because Satan is lying his head off--loudly and smoothly--but God is at work and he has allowed this for a purpose. 

God promises to work all things for good when we love him (Romans 8:28). He uses for good what others meant for evil (Genesis 50:20). His power is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 2:9). His will will be done (Matthew 6:10). And just look at the list of what he will do in that passage:

For this is what the Sovereign LORD says:

I myself will search for my sheep and look after them. As a shepherd looks after his scattered flock when he is with them, so will I look after my sheep. I will rescue them from all the places where they were scattered on a day of clouds and darkness. I will bring them out from the nations and gather them from the countries, and I will bring them into their own land. I will pasture them on the mountains of Israel, in the ravines and in all the settlements in the land. I will tend them in a good pasture, and the mountain heights of Israel will be their grazing land. There they will lie down in good grazing land, and there they will feed in a rich pasture on the mountains of Israel. I myself will tend my sheep and have them lie down, declares the Sovereign LORD. I will search for the lost and bring back the strays. I will bind up the injured and strengthen the weak. (Ezekiel 34:11-16, emphasis mine)

He has plans for me--plans to give me a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). He has plans for you. Plans to give you a hope and a future. He's bringing us out of whatever danger we're in and bringing us into the land he's prepared for us. Doesn't that just thrill you? It does me. 

What are you struggling with? Is there something in your life that you're wanting to hear from God about? Do you want to know what he thinks--about you? about life? about Jesus? about the world?

Open your ears by opening your Bible. God has something to say to you.

Feeling scattered

Funny how the verses you memorize tie in with real life, isn't it? As I was typing in Mary's Song earlier this morning, I got to the part that says "he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts" and thought, No kidding.

I'm feeling totally scattered. And realizing that it has to do with pride on some levels.

You see, I thought something was true--something good. But it turns out it's not true. In fact, it couldn't be further from the truth. (Sorry, I know this is a little vague, but stick with me.)

Anyway, I realize that I was proud of this thing. To the point of feeling superior to others because of it. Judging others in my heart because of it. Feeling oh so sorry for others who didn't have it together like I thought I did.

Turns out it was a big fat lie. And I feel like a fool.

I'd like to justify it all and say, "But I didn't know this thing wasn't true." I didn't. I really thought this thing was true. I was told it was true. And I told others it was true. But it wasn't.

But I guess that's not really the point. The point is that I let this thing become an area of pride. 

Pride's a funny thing. Sometimes it seems like a good thing--like taking pride in a job well done for the sake of doing it well. But this has clearly been a bad pride thing. An "I'm so great" pride thing rather than a "God's so great" pride thing. 

I've spent some time this morning confessing my pride and wrestling through this thing and asking for forgiveness for my pride and praying for wisdom.

Because this thing needs to be true in our life. And we will be working toward making it true. But once we get there, it's going to be one of those great things the Mighty One has done for us. Not something we've done ourselves.

This is what the LORD says:

"Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom or the strong man boast of his strength or the rich man boast of his riches, but let him who boasts boast about this: that he understands and knows me, that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight," declares the LORD. (Jeremiah 9:23-24)

Let him who boasts boast in the Lord. (I Corinthians 1:31)

I'm still feeling overwhelmed and confused and scattered; I'd appreciate your prayers. Thanks for listening...

Quick, quick

I have a list a million miles long today, starting with taking the girls to school this morning for chapel and then prayer group followed by a zillion things to get done for Girl Scout camp. But I wanted to say hi.

I so didn't stay up last night--not sleeping well has taken it's toll on me and I was out by 8:04! Then up at 10:30, 11:45, 1:30ish, and again at 3:30. It didn't help that the cats decided to see who could run fastest all over the house. Cats are not light on their feet, no matter what anyone says!

And that was with a hefty dose of Nyquil.

I was so glad to get up at 5 o'clock and just have the night be over.

I mentioned earlier this week that I'm spending some time in Psalm 16 this week for my quiet time. I'm also memorizing the whole thing (!) for Memory Monday. (I'm getting there and need to go print it out--finally--to put in the car as I run errands today.) Anyway, I've been looking at the original Hebrew (blueletterbible.org) and learning so much. I'd love to share some of it with you--but I've got to go get dressed.

Anyway, just wondering...what have you learned in your quiet time this morning or this week?

Thinking about prayer this morning

Probably because it's Thursday. (It is right? I keep getting my days mixed up!) And Thursdays mean chapel at the girls' school, which I love, followed by prayer group, which I also love.

A small group of moms gets together to pray every week--for students, for faculty and staff, for the school as a whole, for each other. Some of my closest friends are in this group--because when you pray together, you get to know one another. Quickly, and on a deeper level than just standing around and chatting. Something about praying together reveals others' hearts and after just a little while, you really know each other.

If your school doesn't have a prayer group, think about starting one. We've seen God move in incredible ways! (Ours isn't a Moms In Touch group, but that's probably a good place to start if you're interested.)

I'm also thinking about prayer because Luke 18:1-8 was the reading for this morning. The parable of the persistent widow. Remember the story? A judge who "neither feared God nor cared about men" and a widow who "kept coming to him with the plea, 'Grant me justice against my adversary.'"

Here's the thing that jumped off the page at me this morning. Verse 1 says this: "Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up."

And then the parable ends with this sentence in verse 18: "However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?"

Apparently one of the evidences of faith is always praying and not giving up.

Have you given up on some things you used to pray about?

That's the question I asked myself this morning. It made me uncomfortable--because I could think of a thing or two or five that I've stopped praying for. Things I once prayed for with all my heart. 

Parts of my life and character to be transformed. 

Healing for others.

The salvation of people I love.

O Abba Father, Make me persistent like the widow in this parable. Help me "cry out day and night" for these things. Let me not give up. Thank you that you are righteous and love justice, and that you care deeply for mankind with unfailing love. Let me be found faithful, I pray. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Appropriate

That's a word that Audrey loves to use. Well, "unappropriate" is the one she really likes. When Emma does something wrong like burping at the dinner table or chewing with her mouth open, Audrey loves to tell her it's "unappropriate."

I think she got it from me. Not the un- part (I actually say "inappropriate"), but the idea that there's an appropriate way to behave, act, and speak.

She came instantly to mind the yesterday morning when I began reading Psalm 33, the psalm selected for this week in my prayer book that I use in my quiet time. Here's what caught my eye:

Sing joyfully to the LORD, you righteous; 

it is fitting for the upright to praise him. (Psalm 33:1)

I see "fitting" and think appropriate. (And I also have some vague memory of some line in a movie or a book or something: It just ain't fittin'. Seems like something Millie would say in Seven Brides for Seven Brothers when she yells at Adam for kidnapping the town girls and hauling them up to the back country with his brothers.)

And though the word "fitting" in Hebrew means comely, beautiful, seemly--appropriate works too.

It's right for us to praise him. It makes sense for the upright to praise him. It's appropriate for God's people to be people of praise.

It's the way it should be.

So far, so good. (I'm going to try to get this down in a way that makes sense, but I did not get nearly enough sleep last night and I'm having a hard time being clear!)

Then I turned to Matthew 12 for the daily reading and came across this:

But I tell you that me will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned. 

(Matthew 12:36-37)

AHHH!

I've had a careless word kind of a week. And it's only 6:14 on Tuesday morning. I have to admit I cringed when I read this and had to stop and ask God--again--to set a guard over my mouth, to wash my mouth clean, to fill my mouth with his words, to help me remember that whole "quick, slow, slow" thing he showed me a while ago.

Do I speak more acquitting kinds of words--words on the plus side--or more careless words--words on the negative side?

It seems to me that this is why it is good to pray aloud, good to praise aloud--to speak intentional, thoughtful, praising words that outweigh the careless ones.

When we speak appropriately, when praise is the normal kind of speech for us, there's not as much room for those careless kinds of words.

Now I know that God is not keeping a tally sheet to condemn us, with marks in neat columns marked "Aquitting Words" and "Careless Words." But I do know that I want the good to outweigh the bad. 

Not to earn God's love or approval or my salvation. But because careless speech isn't appropriate for God's people. Rather, as his people, it is appropriate for our speech to be characterized by praise. 

"It is [fitting, comely, beautiful, seemly] for the upright to praise him."